“So you’ve finally emerged?” Anders mused as I set to washing some of the bowls we had made previously. I’d need them when the time came and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they were the ones Anders had carved.
He’d put the log he was carrying down and took to leaning against the cabin wall to watch me. Though his tone and stance were light-hearted, meant to poke fun, I could sense an odd sort of tension rolling off of him. A strain.
Was he struggling to hold back his pheromones? I couldn’t get even the tiniest whiff of him. I knew it had to be difficult, withstanding in the presence of an Omega so close to their heat. My pheromones practically poured out of me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. An Omega didn’t have that type of control. We were meant to succumb to our baser instincts in order to enthrall Alphas.
Or at least, that’s what the Holy Trinity Church always preached. One of the many things they lorded over us in order to reinforce the ideals that we were lesser somehow to the Betas.
As if that reality wasn’t shoved into our faces from the moment we took our first breath.
I admired his remarkable control, even as taut as it was, only because it meant I wasn’t in immediate danger of being claimed. It still didn’t explain the relationship between him and Leo. Neither one had shown any signs of ferality or engaged in those ridiculous powerplays Alphas always got wrapped up in.
All for an Omega's attention.
“You let Leo see your nest,” he stated, breaking the silence. I listened for any hint of accusation, jealousy, but there was none. If anything, he sounded amused.
Asshole.
“And?” I grunted, drying off the last bowl with a less than clean rag. We had to make do with what we had out here and unfortunately that didn’t include a washer and dryer…or electricity. “Does that piss you off?” I taunted with a sneer.
“No. Especially since he said it’s filled with all my things. I was wondering why all my clothes were missing.” I could hear the grin in his tone without having to even glance in his direction.
I turned to face him, study his expression to see if it was as genuine as it sounded. He was staring right back at me, lips pulled into a lilting smirk, eyes dancing with mischief. The vein on his neck pulsed with tension on occasion near his mating gland, but that was because of my pheromones, of that I was sure.
“You really aren’t bothered.” I couldn’t keep the shock off my face. I mean, I expected some kind of reaction, some sort of tell that revealed that they were in fact like every other knothead driven by instinct. Because Alphas viewed Omegas as possessions, things to be claimed and they didn’t like having their things taken away from them.
This is what we were taught. So none of this made any damn sense!
“We’re not going to go all feral if that’s what you’re worried about. Our main concern isn’t fighting each other, it’s providing for you in your time of need,” he explained simply. As if this was all normal. He knew just as well as I did that their behavior was far from normal.
“Why?” I asked, crossing my arms and leaning back against the makeshift sink to challenge his casual stance.
Anders pushed off the wall and took a few steps closer. "Leo and I have no intention of battling for dominance over you or anything else. Why bother when the urge isn’t there? I know that what we’ve been told goes against everything that’s happening now and if you’re looking at me to give you the answer why, I can’t.” He shrugged. “Because I don’t know. All I know is that Leo isn’t a threat. If anything, he feels more like a partner in this, in caringfor you. Perhaps the Trinity Church was wrong. Maybe there isn't a one-size-fits-all rule. Maybe some souls need more than one partner to feel complete."
My heart raced, but I’d be damned if I let it show. Maybe they were on to something. Maybe they truly were my soul partners. Both of them. I mean, why else was I feeling like this? It could be the heat, but…I’ve been around several Alphas before when in heat and I didn’t want them like this. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wanted a knot, any knot I could get, but it was singular. More like, I’d be satisfied with whoever put it in first.
With them? I wanted both of them. I wouldn’t be satisfied with just one or the other. I wanted them together. But that was wrong right?
A soul partner, an Alpha and Omega pairing was supposed to be the perfect balance. If I had two Alphas, then we’d all be imbalanced, right? Right?
Unless…
"Is that why I've always felt different? As if one person couldn't fill the void in my soul? It's overwhelming, and sometimes... sometimes it makes me feel isolated, broken."
I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, the conflicting thoughts just seemed to slip out into the open air without my permission.
Seeing my struggle, Anders came closer. He kept a little distance between us, for my comfort likely, but leaned against the counted beside me, looking toward the ash filled hearth. "Leo and I first met in our initial training, enlisting around the same time."
He painted a vivid picture of their initial military training days, the cacophony of boots against gravel, the sharp shouts of commanders. "We were bunkmates. Didn’t talk all that much, partly due to my own nature. I typically choose to observe others, not engage with them. I think it was because I was always watching, I noticed early on how Leo had this protective streak, especially towards Omegas.
There was one Omega in particular that developed a little crush on him. Likely because they weren’t used to an Alpha so attuned with attending to their needs without enforcing dominance. One of the other Alphas in our group, who had their eye on that particular Omega, didn’t like Leo's proximity and saw it as a challenge. Leo’s confusion and lack of interest made me realized that it was just pure masculine energy rather than the toxic masculine energy that followed Alphas who took too long to balance themselves."
I listened intently, trying to understand where this was leading. We may have all been on the same squadron, but this was information about them that I hadn’t known. Likely happened before I even enlisted.
I knew they weren’t friends but they did work well together. It was something everyone in the squadron had noticed and why a few of the other Omegas whined about how jealous they were of my team assignment. I didn’t understand the appeal then, more annoyed at being paired with two Alphas instead of more Omegas.
"Everyone always assumed that because he was quiet and kept to himself that he didn’t have it in him to dominate. But he was simply disciplined, likely due to how he was raised. Not seeing his imbalance as a reason to act out as most Alphas would. It wasn't until that Alpha injured the Omega in one of his attempts at establishing dominance, one that wasn’t welcomed, that Leo showed out. He definitely packs a punch.” Anders chuckled at that last bit. “After Leo had beaten the other Alpha into submission, the Omega went to thank him and confess, but he politely declined their advances."
I frowned.
"What's the point of this story, Anders? Why tell me this?"
Anders met my gaze with unwavering intensity. "Leo isn't your typical Alpha. Neither am I. Maybe, Micah, you feel out of place because you're different too. Perhaps we're meant to challenge the mold the Holy Trinity Church cast for us."
My mind raced. "If that's true, how many others have experienced this? Are like us? Multiple Alphas bound to one Omega? That would literally change everything we know."
How many others had more than one Alpha and just never said anything?
"It's possible," Anders mused, "that some of the so-called 'toxic masculinity' and 'soul imbalances' are societal constructs, not inherent truths. Look at Leo; he's disciplined, controlled. He doesn't fit the Church's narrative."
He certainly didn’t. If anything, he seemed like a balanced Alpha. One of those who had been regulated once they found their soul partner. Honestly, if I hadn’t known any better, I would have assumed he was mated. With his level and discipline and control, did he even really need an Omega? Did he even need me?
“To answer that question swirling in that head of yours…yes. Yes, we need you. Without our Omega, what would be the point of all of this?”
I’m starting to wonder if we were ever meant to reach this point at all.
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