Chapter 3

Myles turns back to me, his expression once again bright and happy. He certainly wears his heart on his sleeve.

“I’ll take you there. Just don’t- don’t talk to me,” I say for some reason, as if talking is what makes me uncomfortable about this situation, and not the very fact itself that he’s a male wolf. But Myles does exactly as I ask, and we walk in perfect silence to the other side of town. When we reach the large gates signalling our arrival at the pack, I unexpectedly find myself leading Myles inside. I could’ve easily just left him at the gates. So why didn’t I? Oh right, because he’s my soulmate. That would probably explain it. I get a sort of free pass inside the pack any time I want, because of my friendship with Atti and Blake. And alpha Ceyden and luna Riya too, but I’m not particularly close with them. But still, I lead Myles right up to Ceyden’s door, and then even knock for him. I’m not ready to leave Myles just yet, but I have no idea what to even say to him. The door opens and Ceyden blinks at me in surprise. 

“Caro! It’s nice to see you. But uh- Atti and Blake aren’t here at the moment?” He says gently, but I shake my head. 

“I know. I’m um. I was delivering him to you,” I explain, despite not actually giving much of an explanation, as I step aside and point to Myles. Ceyden’s expression immediately shifts into a more business-like one as he invites both Myles and I inside.

“Beta Myles! I was worried you wouldn’t find us alright, but I’m glad Caro…showed you the way? How is Xabien?” Ceyden asks, but I only focus on one part of that sentence. Myles is a beta? I should’ve realised he was someone vaguely important based on how he said he was meeting Ceyden, the alpha of a decently sized pack, but still. I kind of thought that all betas and alphas were more…intimidating, than Myles comes across as. Or at least, my beta and alpha very much were. But I should’ve learned that not everyone is the same - after all, Ceyden is lovely and he doesn’t even have a beta - he and Riya do everything by themselves. Myles glances back at me briefly, giving me a gentle smile before following Ceyden into his office.

It’s happening again. I’m going to never see Myles again, and nothing will have changed. 

“Can I have your number?” I blurt out, feeling my face heat up slightly. Not daring to look at Myles, instead I look in Ceyden’s general direction. Ceyden just raises an eyebrow at me, an affectionate and teasing smile on his lips. 

“Aw, you think I’m cute?” 

My face gets even hotter, and I shake my head adamantly before glancing over at Myles. “I was talking about Myles! But I’m not saying he’s cute either!” Myles' expression drops at my words.

“No um! That’s not what I meant! You’re very cute! I just um- we’re mates,” I hurriedly explain, lacing my fingers together before giving up and covering my face with my hands.

“Oh! Congratulations, I’m happy you finally got to meet each other,” Ceyden says softly as I peek at him through my fingers. Myles takes a slight step towards me, and Ceyden heads into his office, leaving us alone.

“Caro…can I talk to you now?” He asks softly, and I nod, removing my hands from my face. “I would really like to get to know you, Caro. We can just be friends if you’d like, but please- please don’t reject me,” he whispers, his expression breaking slightly. Taking a step towards him, I slowly reach out and touch his arm for the shortest amount of time possible. But I think I get across the fact that I’m trying. 

“I would like to get to know you too. And I won’t reject you, but I’m not- I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship just yet,” I say honestly. I mean isn’t sex an important thing in most relationships? And although before I might have been ok with doing that - even if I was asexual already - now I know that I definitely can’t ever do that kind of thing.

Never.

So would Myles even want a relationship with me, knowing that he could never be physically intimate with me? Maybe one day I’d be alright with kissing him, and hugging and holding hands, but I can’t say that for sure…So surely, he wouldn’t want any of the me that’s left after that? I mean- all he’d get is just- me. Plain old me. Scared, weak, little old me. And I’m great - it’s not like I have particularly low self-esteem - I know that I have plenty of great qualities as a friend, but…Not as a partner. Not as a mate.

“That’s ok. Caro, we don’t ever have to complete the bond. We don’t have to touch or anything - you don’t seem to be massively- into that,” Myles says gently, taking a hesitant step towards me. “Can we just swap numbers and then if you want to talk to me, we can? And if not, I’ll- leave you alone?” He suggests, his tone so soft and kind. Myles is so kind. I may know nothing about him just yet, but that much is abundantly clear to me.

“Alright,” I whisper, clutching my fingers together. “Let’s get to know each other.”

—————

-Myles-

“So, Caro is your mate?” Alpha Ceyden asks casually once we’ve reached the end of our official important meeting, and can just have a relaxed chat together. Nodding, I feel a smile creeping onto my lips already. 

“He’s so beautiful, but in like a- a beautiful person way instead of being particularly feminine? Anyway he totally took me by surprise, when we first looked into each other’s eyes. I’m so glad we swapped numbers; he seems really timid and I’m not sure I’ll ever be lucky enough again to just run into him on the street.”

Ceyden nods thoughtfully, his own smile a gentle mirror of mine. “Caro is really lovely and sweet - he’s actually one of my brother’s best friends, so we tend to see him sort of frequently. If he’s up to leaving his house, anyway,” he says as an afterthought. Frowning slightly in worry, I ask the question before I can stop myself. 

“He doesn’t like to leave his house? Is something wrong?”

Ceyden shrugs, a sad smile on his lips. “Caro struggles with feeling safe. He doesn’t like being around other wolves - male wolves in particular, so keep that in mind - and sometimes he’s too scared to leave his house. Getting to know him won’t be easy, Myles, but…it will be worth it. Trust me. Caro is a lovely guy.”

“How am I supposed to make him comfortable with male wolves then? He wouldn’t even want to see me,” I say a little dejectedly. Ceyden just shakes his head, patting my shoulder. 

“You don’t have to make him comfortable around all male wolves - just with one: you. His mate. At the start, talk about neutral, normal topics - nothing too werewolf-y, nothing too dramatic. Just normal small talk, and go from there.” 

It’s a starting point, at least. I have always dreamed of meeting my mate. Quite literally, since I was 16 and received the features dream, but also…I’m happy, as the beta of my pack, and I love and respect my alpha and close friend, Xabien. But if there’s one thing I’ve always wanted? A mate. That person whose soul matches perfectly with mine - that person who is so much more than just my other half. I always wanted to meet my soulmate. And as it turns out, he’s this gorgeous, sweet and shy man. 

He’s exactly what I’ve always wanted.