Chapter 8

“So…do you still want to mate with me?” I ask gently, pulling back slightly and looking into Myles' eyes. I want to watch the answer in his soul; how he truly feels about this.

“Why…why would you think that I’ve changed my mind? Because I haven’t, at all. I still feel the same way about you, but now I’m just…more impressed? By your strength, to come through that and still be this amazing and kind person,” Myles says softly, giving my hand another small squeeze. Letting out a relieved breath, I pull Myles into a hug before I’m able to overthink the gesture. He lets out a small squeak of surprise, before wrapping his arms around my back in a strong embrace, his warmth like a comforting blanket around me. 

I didn’t used to like hugs, after the attack. I found them too caging, too hard to get away from. But gradually, I’ve been able to enjoy them again. And I definitely enjoy this hug with Myles - it feels so safe, firm but gentle. Protective. I always assumed that when I eventually met my mate, that they wouldn’t want me when they realised all the complications that I come with. It never occurred to me that instead, they would want to…protect me. Care for me and keep me safe.

But the way Myles hugs me…it says a lot.

“I just- I didn’t think it was possible, for someone to- to not be disgusted by me, or think I’m weak for still being affected by it so much, or- I don’t know, somehow blaming me for-“ Myles interrupts me by pulling back from the hug and taking my face in his hands, his gaze fierce with affection.

“Never think that you are to blame, Caro. Never, you hear me?” He says firmly, before his expression melts again and Myles wraps me up in another hug. Resting my head on his shoulder, I let out a sigh, releasing my fears along with my breath.

“Thank you, Myles,” I whisper, relaxing into his embrace. “Thank you for everything. I- I’ve come a long way by myself, but it’s only been since I met you that I’ve started to make drastic changes. Now, I want to have physical contact with you, and I want to be strong enough to join your pack. Before, I never would’ve had the motivation to keep healing like this,” I say honestly, enjoying the light touch of Myles’ soothing hand on my back.

“You’re the one who has put in all the effort, Caro. I’m just glad that you’re a part of my life,” he says softly, pulling back a little to touch my cheek ever so lightly. “Can I…kiss your cheek?” Myles asks gently, a faint blush ghosting across his features. Feeling my own face warm up a little, I nod, chewing on my lips in embarrassment. Myles smiles warmly before leaning forwards to place the lightest kiss upon my cheek, his hand still comfortingly placed on my back. “You have a soft face,” he says awkwardly, letting out a little chuckle at my embarrassed expression. Tipping forwards to hide my face in his shoulder, I mumble “you have soft lips.”

One day, I really want to be able to kiss Myles.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, just cuddling and breathing in tandem, feeling comfortable and relaxed together, until a question occurs to me.

“When we first met…why were you so scared of me rejecting you?” I ask gently, looking up at Myles from where I’ve been cuddled into his side on my sofa. Myles freezes up a little and averts his gaze from mine. Sitting up slowly, I gently place my hand next to his before taking it in mine and squeezing his hand lightly. 

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want, but…I’m always here for you, Myles,” I whisper, smoothing my thumb across the back of his hand. Myles finally meets my gaze, his smile soft and a little sad. 

“I knew I’d have to tell you at some point, especially if you ever met someone from my pack…they’d maybe mention it, and I’d rather you heard it from me than some stranger,” he confesses, hesitantly bending down to rest his head on my shoulder, before pausing just beforehand to check if I’m comfortable with this. Smiling slightly, I guide his head down to my shoulder, squeezing his hand again.

It’s nice, pushing my limits like this and initiating contact with Myles. 

Waiting for Myles to continue, I let him take his time choosing his words. Eventually, he sighs, removing his hand from mine so that he can cover his face with both of his hands as he draws in a shaky breath. My eyebrows crease in worry - I didn’t realise that this was such a sensitive topic for him, or I wouldn’t have asked in this way just yet.

“My mother died a long time ago. I don’t know how or why - I was a kid and no one explained it to me. One day, she just wasn’t there anymore, and my dad had to explain to me that she had passed away,” Myles starts, removing his hands from his face and gently taking my hand back in his again, his fingers shaking slightly. My heart breaks at the sight, as well as his words. “Oh Myles, I’m so sorry,” I whisper, turning my head to press a kiss to his temple, feeling emboldened at the sight of his glossy eyes. He lets out another shaky breath before glancing up at me and smiling slightly. 

“You’re so beautiful, Caro,” he whispers, using his free hand to lightly stroke my cheek. Leaning into his touch, I close my eyes for a moment, until he starts talking again.

“For a long time, it was just my father and me. And then, when I was around fifteen…” Myles takes a deep breath, letting his eyes flutter shut, “my father passed away too. He committed suicide, and I was the one to find his body.”

Holy fuck.

No one should ever have to go through that, especially not a fifteen year old.

“It always felt to me like I hadn’t been enough for my father, that without my mother I couldn’t make him want to keep living. And I know it must have been awful for him without his mate…they were fated and when she passed away his wolf started to lose strength too, so it only would’ve been a matter of time before he lost that too, but still…” Myles breaks off, curling into my side and instantly hugging me back as I wrap my arms around him.

“It just felt so unfair. I felt like I had had everything taken away from me and all I’ve ever wanted was a family, but I’ve just- I’ve felt so alone, ever since then. My friends have been amazing but I- I just-“ Myles stutters slightly, letting out a small sob as I stroke through his hair, holding him firmly. Strongly. 

“I’m right here, Myles. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” I whisper, laying a kiss on his forehead softly. He nods, slumping in my arms slightly. 

“I know, and I am so, so grateful for that, Caro,” he whispers, still shaking against me lightly as he cries. “And then I met you,” he says after a moment, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “You were just- so gorgeous, so radiant and bright and I just- I knew that I couldn’t lose you too. I knew right away that I needed you in my life, that without you I would never be the same again. And that feeling has only grown stronger, the more I’ve gotten to know you. Which is why, Caro…I want to be your mate. I want to protect you and make you happy and I- I want you to let me love you,” he whispers, pulling back from the hug slightly until our gazes lock.

“Because I love you, Caro. I really do,” he smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. A tentative, gentle smile of my own slowly appears, and my eyes finally release the tears that’d been building up during Myles’ talk of his parents.

“Really?” I whisper, my fingers shaking as they reach for Myles’ hand. He instantly nods, gently cupping my cheek and smoothing his thumb across my jaw. “So much, Caro. I love you so much.”

“I-“ I start, quickly wiping my tears away, “I love you too, Myles,” I say more confidently as I gather up all my courage and ask “can I kiss you?”

Myles’ expression melts in an instant as we both lean towards each other, my soul practically shining from inside me as my heart hammers quickly, my emotions the strongest they’ve ever felt before as he gently presses his lips to mine.

I feel so happy.

“Will you be my mate, Caro? Will you complete the bond with me?” Myles asks softly, his forehead touched to mine lightly. Nodding, I feel a small laugh bubble up from inside me. “More than anything, my love.”

Myles’ soft smile turns warmer as he looks into my eyes, another question residing there. “Now?” He asks, and I nod. 

“Now,” I confirm. I want Myles as my mate, and although I’m still scared about joining his pack…I know that I don’t have to do anything I’m not comfortable with. So maybe one day I’ll join and go live with Myles, but for now…

For now, this is ok. For now, this is perfect.

Carefully taking off my cardigan and undoing the top few buttons of my shirt so that I can move it to one side slightly, Myles watches me with adoration as his fangs start to extend and I mirror him. This is really happening. This is finally happening.

I’m ready.

Myles gently moves my shirt out of the way before pressing a tiny kiss to the crook of my neck, right where his mark will go. Holding onto him tightly, I take a deep breath. I know the bite will hurt, but it’ll be worth it. I know it will. And Myles is so careful and gentle as he marks me, so that it barely hurts more than a slight sting. I feel exhilarated and so excited as I do the same on his shoulder, so that the bond is completed. Pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, just next to my mark, I pull back at catch sight of the adoring look in my mate’s eyes.

Finally, we are one. And I am so, so happy.