Monday, October 1st, 47 A.S.

That day was important for two reasons. It was the first day of the annual Soulmate Switch and it was… my birthday.

I don’t think I ever really enjoyed my birthday before. No one ever remembered because they were always so busy thinking about The Soulmate Switch. And I don’t think I really cared, either. All birthday’s really symbolized were the fact that you were another year away from childhood, another years worth of responsibilities were dumped on you, and your parents had a stronger reason for keeping you attached to them.

Oh, they created you. Birthed you. Fed you, clothed you, sheltered you. They gave you ‘love’, whatever that meant. I mean, sure, I loved my parents and my family. But… did I really need to know my birthday?

It wasn’t like it was important. No one cared.

But this year felt different. I woke up feeling different. The idea of knowing that I was fifteen was different.

And for once, I thought something might happen, something might change.

I was fifteen on the first week of October. Would I be able to Switch? Is my soulmate older than fifteen too? Did it count? If I turned fifteen exactly on the first day?

I jumped from my bed, happy on the first of October for once. Maybe one of my teachers would know if I could switch!

I had never gotten dressed so fast before, gotten my things together and skipped to class so happily.

My first class, second class, third class, fourth class… they all flew by as I drifted through the halls with a dreamy smile on my face. I didn’t even know why I was so happy, but it was fine. This feeling was nice, being happy and worry free for what felt like the first time in forever.

Cass’s face matched mine when we had bumped in the hallway, but for some reason, she… ignored me.

Okay, okay, I told myself mentally. She’s probably… she probably just didn’t see me, that’s all.

I shook my head and carried on my way. But oddly, I didn’t see Cass at lunch…

I don’t really know what happened, but all of a sudden, I was in my seventh class of the day: Science.

I sat in my usual seat, towards the back of the room, my smile still painted wistfully on my face. I knew I looked silly even without a mirror to see.

And then this random girl sat beside me. She definitely wasn’t Cass. She didn’t have wavy blonde hair or pale gray-blue eyes or pale freckled skin.

This girl had coffee colored skin with curly black hair, and her eyes were round and warm, and not blue. A dark chocolate brown, darker than her skin but lighter than her hair. 

“Uhm,” I said nervously. “Hi, uh, someone’s sitting here.”

And the girl, unpacking her bag, paused to look up at me in surprise. That was when my gaze landed on the contents of her bag.

“Hey, isn’t that… Cass’s stuff?” I asked, suddenly suspicious. “You didn’t steal that, did you? Who even are you?”

She blinked incredulously at me, silently asking what are you talking about? I raised an eyebrow as I gave her belongings a second glance. Yup, they definitely belonged to Cass. 

“Amara, it’s me,” the girl said. “What’s wrong with-”

She stopped her own words as her eyes widened. Her mouth popped open as she looked down at her hands.

“Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed. “I completely forgot!”

“Forgot what?” I asked wearily. Because, despite my suspicion, I was curious.

“Amara, I got Switched,” the girl told me.

“Um, congrats?” I said, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “But, uh, how does that explain why you’re here?”

“It’s me, Cass,” she explained.

My raised eyebrow was joined by my other one as they very nearly popped off my face. “Cass?” I asked.

It couldn’t be… but then, I did bump into her today, and she did ignore my wave… but if it wasn’t actually her then…

“If you’re really Cass,” I told her, narrowing my eyes. “Then who do I like?”

She rolled her eyes but smiled in a way that reminded me of Cass. Then she answered in a low voice, leaned in to me so that no one around us would hear. “Ezra, the boy in twelfth year. You’re in the parade band together.”

My eyes widened as my jaw slackened. “Oh my science, it is you!”

She laughed, throwing her head back as her eyes closed, just like Cass always did. She leaned on the table in front of her for support, and I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not that funny!” I told her over the sound of her cackles. “How was I supposed to know?”

“Happy Birthday, Amara,” she told me between her laughs. It all sounded weird coming from this strange girl’s mouth, her voice strange in my ears, but it was still Cass.

But the fact that she Switched confirmed something else in my mind. I wasn’t going to Switch. At least, not this year.

I wasn’t sure why, but the idea of not Switching when you turn fifteen was a sort of reason to be humiliated. Like, if you didn’t get Switched at the first opportunity, you had weak science or you had no soulmate. No one said or thought, “Oh, you’ll get Switched next year!”

I was dreading that night because I’d have to visit my family knowing I wasn’t going to Switch.

And I was right to dread it.

My family was poor in two ways: we had no money and we had no known generational power. We were very, very poor.

My mom and dad both worked day jobs at the Breeze Electric Towers where people controlled wind to create electricity for the people. It wasn’t exactly a job to be proud of. This also meant that my parents didn’t have much time for me and my siblings.

The second oldest, Eleanor. Fourteen years old.

The third oldest, Cordelia. Twelve years old.

The youngest, Naomi. Ten years old.

And then there’s me.

All our names meant more or less the same thing: love, beauty, grace, etc. Our parents were very fond of the idea of love, probably because they had to find each other without the help of the Soulmate Switch System.

All four of us looked pretty much the same. We all had straight black hair and olive toned skin. Our eyes were a warm brown and we all had short predicted heights. If I was any indicator at my measly full grown height of 5’ 1”, none of the rest of them would pass 5’ 5”.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my family. I loved my sisters, each of whom looked just like each other, just like me, but were all so different it could be disorienting. I loved my parents who worked so hard for us just so that we could live plentiful lives.

But at the same time, I dreaded visiting them. Them and their judgment.

So that night, my bag hoisted on my shoulders as I stood in front of the small apartment door, I took a deep, steadying breath.

And knocked on the door.

I heard a loud clatter from inside, along with a unison shout of “AMARA!” from my sisters. Then there was a storm of feet thundering towards the door. I braced myself as the door flew open and three bodies flung themselves at me.

I laughed as I tried my best to catch them all, but we ended up falling to the floor either way.

“Okay, okay,” I told them as they squeezed my lungs out of my ribs. “I’m home.”

“Girls!” my mom’s voice cut in, and I stretched my head above the three others buried into my neck. “Let Amara come up for some air, for Savior’s sake!”

We all laughed as my sisters pried themselves off of me. I missed them so much, it hurt. I would always forget the amount of hurt I felt until I came back. Everything just felt sort of numb at school.

“Welcome home, Amara,” my mother greeted as she pulled me up from the floor and embraced me herself. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” I told her. All the while, I was silently counting in my head.

One… Two… Three… Four… Fi-

“You haven’t Switched yet,” my mother stated bluntly as she looked me up and down. “Why not?”

“It’s my birthday, Mom,” I told her. I had formulated my excuse on my way here: it didn’t count when your birthday was during the Switch week. “It doesn’t count.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, her eyebrow raised skeptically.

I opened my mouth to say yes, but her gaze tore into me like a knife.

“No…” I finally said, dropping my gaze.

She clicked her tongue. “That’s what I thought.”

She led all four of us inside and set us down for dinner.

It was two hours long. By the time it had finished, I was tired both physically and emotionally. I couldn’t wait to sleep in my bed.

“So how are you doing at school?” Dad asked right as dessert was served.

“It’s going well,” I said, pulling my forced smile back onto my face and trying to make it look natural. “We just did Science Attunement Measurement yesterday in Science.”

“What’d you get?” my mom interjected.

“I got a fluke test,” I told her, my voice on the verge of blunt.

“Is that attitude?” she asked me, her eyebrows raised as she glared at me. “How ungrateful! You’re here, under our roof, eating our food, and you’re giving me attitude! Where in science did you get the nerve?”

I sighed, silently chastising myself for not pulling out more of my energy to fake a joyful tone for just one more minute. This wasn’t going to be fun. Not at all.

“Do you know how hard your father and I work?” she asked me, looking as if I didn’t know anything of what they did. “We work night and day just so that we can feed, clothe, and shelter you and your sisters! And what do we get?” I could tell she was glaring daggers at me, but I was too tired to meet her gaze. “A useless, talentless, scienceless excuse for a daughter! And what else? ATTITUDE! We get attitude!”

Something new was starting to boil inside of me. I’ve never felt anything like it before, but it felt… hot, it made me feel hot. 

“Elise-” my dad started, but she cut him off with a glare.

“Girls, why don’t you get to bed, hm?” I told my sisters with as much calm as I could muster, because suddenly, it was hard to muster calm.

They all nodded hastily and bolted from the dinner table. And suddenly, it was just me and my parents.

“Who in science do you think you are to order your sisters around?” my mom asked incredulously. “Did I dismiss them?’

“No, you didn’t,” I said. “Because I did.”

Oh my science. I had no idea where my words were coming from, cause they certainly weren’t thought up from my brain. I wasn’t permitting any of these words, so how’d they come out?

Mom looked taken aback… and for some reason, it made me feel… happy. So I kept going.

“You say you do so much to feed me, clothe me, shelter me, but really? You don’t do anything!” I shouted finally. My stomach was churning, it was on fire, and I liked it. “You work? Oh, great! But you know what? SO DO I! I work every night and study every morning. I go to the best school in the world and I’m in every single advanced class I can take!

“You call me useless? Talentless? Scienceless? Yeah, well, I’m in a better school than you could ever go to. I’m more talented than you could ever be. And my science is stronger than yours because you are the weak one.

“What would happen if I stopped sending you my money?” I asked. Her face paled as she finally seemed to think before she shouted. “What would happen if I cut you off entirely? You’d lose your job, that’s what, because the only reason you have it is because your daughter is in the best school in the world.

“I don’t need you. You need me,” I told her. “Think about that.”

And with those last words, I got up and left. I stormed to my old room, much smaller than my room back at school, only about 5’ by 6’. I collapsed on my small bed, dropping my bag onto the floor beside it.

I was on the verge of sleep when there came a soft knock on my door. It cracked open to reveal the small face and body of Eleanor. I sat up in bed as she came inside. She just looked so scared so I raised my arms out and she fell into them.

“Are you okay?” she asked, and I was reminded just how young she was. It was so hard to remember, sometimes, because we all had to grow up fast.

“Yes,” I told her, rubbing her back. “I’m alright.”

“I hate when people fight,” she mumbled into my shoulder. But I knew what she really meant. She hates when our mother picked fights with me.

“I know, I’m sorry,” I told her, still rubbing her back.

“Do you have to leave in the morning?” she asked me, pulling back so that she could see my face. Her face contorted as she took in my face up close for the first time tonight.

“Yeah,” I told her, sighing. “I have school tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she said, pulling herself from my arms. “I-I’ll let you sleep.” She paused. “Are you going to visit us in the morning before you leave?”

“I can try,” I told her, my arms dropping to my side on the bed. “Sleep well, Ellie.”

“Sleep well, Amy.”

I hadn’t heard that name in years…

- - - 

The next morning, I woke up early. I had to.

I sat up in bed, stretching my arms. I blinked my eyes to clear the just waking up blurriness.

But the blurriness didn’t go away.

I blinked furiously, trying my best to see, but it was still blurry!

I whipped off the blankets and set my feet on the floor. I pushed off my bed to stand and almost immediately fell over. I staggered, stretching a hand out to steady myself on the wall, but I ended up slamming my hand into the wall.

Had it always been that close?

I tried my balance again and looked up from where I was watching my feet. I looked up after a moment, directly at the mirror above my tiny wedge of a desk.

My eyes widened and I stumbled towards it. I had to bend down, but it got clearer the closer I got until my nose was brushing the cold glass.

My face was still my face. Except a whole lot taller.

But I looked down. My body was different. My curves were gone, my hair wasn’t falling over my shoulder, and I could barely see anything.

I was a boy.

Who the heck am I? Whose body am I in?

I spun around and hit my head on my lamp. I crouched down, holding my throbbing forehead as I looked around as best as I could with my now terrible eyesight.

I was still in my room. It was morning, about six.

And I was not me.

As I crouched by the floor, my sleep-addled brain finally slugged its way to a conclusion.

I had Switched.

“Oh my science,” I breathed right as a small glowing screen appeared in front of me. I read the blurry words glowing on the hovering screen.

“Hello [Amara Lucile Mireille].

Congratulations, you have Switched!

Your Soulmate has:

Brown hair

Black eyes

Bad eyesight

Would you like his glasses?

[Yes] [No]”

“Obviously yes,” I muttered under my breath as I clicked the corresponding button.

Glasses appeared on my face as the glowing screen disappeared. I blinked to adjust as my surroundings came into focus.

Still rubbing my forehead, I stood and moved to the closet. But before I could open the door, a thought came to me.

I’m a girl in a boy’s body. What am I going to wear?

Right when I reached for the handle of the closet, a second screen appeared in my face.

“Your gender has changed.

Your wardrobe has been updated.”

And then it disappeared again as I pulled the door open. The notification was right. I had the boys’ equivalent to the uniform in my closet now.

I pulled out a freshly pressed boys’ uniform and pressed it against my body. It seemed like it’d fit, so I tug it off of its hanger.

I paused.

Was I going to undress? It wasn’t my body, let alone a girl’s body… How was I supposed to use the bathroom or shower?

I sat on my bed, overwhelmed. Turns out, Switching wasn't as fun as it’s made out to be.