After the underboss left, Viktor went and changed into more comfortable clothing and came back to the kitchen to make us dinner. I called Lev twice more, this time from my phone, and he still didn’t pick up. 

“I’m making extra for your brother and his husband,” Viktor said as he tossed the pasta into the water and set a timer. 

“If I would have just called sooner, he wouldn’t have bothered to do any of this shit,. He might have stayed at home. I don’t even know if he is bringing Alessio or if he left him behind.” I groaned. 

“It’s alright, Nikita.”

“No, it isn’t. Have you met Lev without his lover, his sweet Alessio? Let me tell you, the Lev that he gives to Alessio is not the Lev that I get.”

“I think you just need to relax, and we can deal with Lev, and probably Alessio, when they get here.”

Viktor finished everything to do with dinner and made both of our plates. He took them out to the dining room, and we both ate slowly and in silence. He finished before me, and in good timing, too. A henchman came into the dining room and got Viktor’s attention. “Don Alessio Concetta-Mihail and his husband are here.”

“Show them to the dining room.” Viktor said and slid his plate away from himself, and turned to me. “Finish your dinner.”

Viktor greeted Alessio and Lev when they came into the dining room. The bite of pasta in my mouth sinking down my throat like lead when I swallowed it. 

“How is your arm feeling, Nikita?” Alessio asked, and smiled at me. 

“It’s fine now. It will be better when the cast is off.”

I ignored Lev’s direct stare at me as I finished eating and took both of our plates to the kitchen. Viktor paused his conversation to thank me when I came back. Lev opened his wallet and pulled out a small ultrasound picture. He slid it across the table, and Alessio was the one who spoke, not him. “Nikita, Lev and I didn’t purposely keep the news of our child away from you because we didn’t want you to know. Even my father does not know his developing grandchild. We hadn’t actually intended to say anything to anyone yet, but Lev told your sister by mistake. She informed us she told you, and things seemed to have been made to look like we never intended to tell you. Which I can promise is not at all true.”

“It’s fine. Even if you chose not to tell me, I would understand why. You’re both in a position where protecting your child it’s far more important.” I said truthfully and relaxed back into the dining chair. 

I expected Alessio to be the one uncomfortable with my comment, but no. It was Lev. “Are you actually fucking kidding me right now, Nikita?” Lev hissed, raising his voice at me. 

“Was what I said somehow wrong? Your child’s safety is far more important and—--”

“Would you rather I not tell you about your nephew, Nikita?” Lev snapped.

“My nephew. Really. That’s wild coming from someone who blames me for the death of his parents, distanced himself from me, didn’t invite me or even tell me you were married, and even went so far as to say I am not your brother to my face, after everything. But this child is my nephew.” I yelled, losing my cool. “I’m exhausted with how many people try to manipulate my feelings to get what they want.”

Pushing myself away from the table in the chair, I stood up. “Nikita. Listen—-”

“I’m done listening, Lev. I hope becoming a father is everything you want, and I’m thrilled for you both. But I can’t continue down this path of trying to make it up to you for your parents. I have nothing left to give Lev. My bloody nightmares have returned. I am nowhere closer to finding out who did this all. I’m just further and further isolating myself, and I’m exhausted of it all.”

“Nikita.”

“Lev, honestly. I’m tired of it all. Being alone, being ignored, being eaten alive by my guilt, being haunted by the fact if your parents had let me die, none of this would have happened. It’s best if you just keep yourself and your family at a distance from me, before I cause something else to happen.”

Viktor tried to grab me, and I moved away. “Thanks for stopping by. I’m sorry I couldn’t visit longer. I’m turning in for the night.”

Alessio picked the ultrasound up off the table and stood up. He walked over and grabbed my hand and put the small ultrasound in it. “You’re my family, even if you’re not blood. I refuse to allow this to go on any longer. You both need to heal this wound.”

“Thanks.” I said, holding up the ultrasound, before turning and leaving the dining room completely. Looking at the small fetus on the paper, I sighed. Heading to Viktor’s space, I turned on the light and took off the heavy t-shirt. Setting it, and the ultrasound on the top of the dresser. I flicked the light off and got into the bed. I was sure Ilya was going to give me a worse conversation than this one with Lev tonight, but at least with Ilya he was the only one who seemed to remember that my feelings exist, and my freedom does too. 

Closing my eyes, I wrapped my arm around one pillow and tossed and turned until I found a comfortable enough spot to drift off to sleep. 

-Looking around, I looked at the blood on the floor and reached up and touched my neck. Sticky red blood coated my fingers, and I was unable to call out, to call for help. But the light at the end of the hall looked promising. It held two people with their arms out for me. 

Reaching them, it all changed. They fell to the floor, their necks cut like my own and their blood pooling around my feet. They reached out for me, and I could only make gurgling sounds as I backed away.-

Waking up, my heart was thundering in my chest, and Viktor still wasn’t in bed yet. Looking around for a clock, the one on the nightstand read nine forty-eight, which meant I only had less than an hour of sleep so far before nightmares plagued me. Reaching up, I ran my fingers over the scar on my neck, and my hands were trembling. Laying back down on the pillow, I prayed and begged for sleep, undisturbed by nightmares of the past.  

I woke up from nightmares two more times before Viktor came back to his room and got into the bed beside me, waking me up by pulling me against him. 

“Hey, I was trying to sleep.”

“You’ll fall asleep soon.”

“Lev and Alessio?”

“They ate and decided to stay until Ilya and Vito come tomorrow.”

“Right.” I muttered and closed my eyes again. I knew I was going to be tormented by more nightmares, but I was just hoping that despite that I would get some ok sleep and not bother Viktor. 

I woke up again, this time to Viktor pulling me closer to him and throwing his leg over mine. “Shh. I got you, Nikita,” he muttered, his voice full of sleep. This happened a few more times until Viktor got out of bed at seven am. Pulling his body away from mine and waking me up. 

“Sorry, go back to sleep, Nikita. You didn’t sleep well.” He said and pulled the covers over more of my shoulders. “I’ll be back to check on you in a little while.”

I waited until he was out of the room to let out a sigh. His sleep suffered because of me, and I felt a little bad about it. Going forward, I was sure that sleeping in the room across the hall was the best idea. For us both. 

Getting out of the bed, I slipped a shirt on and made my way down the stairs, and into the kitchen. Viktor was pouring three fresh cups of coffee, and didn’t notice me until he turned to get the cream out of the fridge and jumped. “Christ, you startled me, Nikita,” he said, before chuckling. 

“Sorry, I didn’t expect you to be so jumpy.” 

“Your brother and Alessio are in the dining room. I was just grabbing coffee. Did you want a glass?”

“No, thank you. Poor sleep and caffeine, sounds like a recipe for destruction.” I muttered. He took two cups and went to get the third. “Here, let me help.” I said and took what he said was his cup. Following him out to the dining room, Lev and Alessio were just relaxing in lounge wear. It clearly didn’t belong to them, but they were making it work. 

Viktor gave them their coffees, and Lev looked right at me. “Nikita, you look like shit. How long have the nightmares been back?” Alessio elbowed him and muttered something I didn’t understand, but Viktor did, because he agreed. He brushed off Alessio’s elbow and sipped his coffee. “Is this how things are going to be between us now?”

Before I could respond with something nasty, just because of the lack of sleep and my annoyance with everything. Viktor set his hand on my knee and leaned over, whispering against my ear. “He is trying to make peace, Nikita.”

 I sighed and looked away. I knew Viktor was right, but I still didn’t feel like forgiving Lev. I took a deep breath and slowly nodded. “The nightmares come and go.”

“I didn’t know you were still plagued with them even now. You never brought them up with me,” Lev said, and turned his attention to Alessio, leaning over and whispering something into his ear. “Dr Martin can—---”

Cutting Lev off, I firmly said no to him. He looked at Viktor and pulled a hand through his hair. “Nikita, I’m sorry.”

“For?” I said, confused about what he was apologizing about. 

“You’ve been right about some shit, I never have got over the death of my parents, and I’ve blamed you, hell I still want to blame you, but I’m not going to anymore. You were a fucking kid. You didn’t kill my parents. I wanted someone to blame, and it was you.” Lev said, and frowned. “All that being said, get your nightmares under control again. Your older teenage years were hell for all of us. You don’t need a repeat of that shit.”

“I don’t forgive you.” I hissed. 

“Fair enough. I didn’t expect you to,” Lev said, and looked at Alessio, who nodded at him. Alessio had probably been the one to put him up to this, but either way, serious or not, I couldn’t forgive his empty words. Not after the barbed ones he had hurled at me on plenty of occasions before. 

“Ilya and Vito will be here a little after lunch. If you want a nap, Nikita, get one now.” Viktor said politely, before yawning. I nodded, walking to the door, pausing, looking back at Viktor. “I’ll be sleeping alone from now on.” I said and left the room. I didn’t like him, but torturing him with little to no sleep that wasn’t on my bucket list for things to get back at him with.