Running a brush through my hair, I examined the damage. I should cut it all off. What was the point of fixing this mess? I checked the drawers for the scissors. They weren’t anywhere to be found. I started slamming the drawers as I rechecked them. Cursing, I went to search my desk. I found them stuffed under a wad of crumpled papers. I heard footsteps approaching and stopped to listen. They were getting closer. There was a knock before the locks turned, and the door opened.
Watt carried in a tray. “I brought lunch.”
There was more food than usual. He better not be staying. I was busy. Ignoring him, I went to the bathroom. Watt wasn’t far behind. I grabbed a handful of my hair and went to cut it.
“Woah!” He snatched my wrist. “That’s taking it to an extreme.”
“Leave me alone.” I bumped into him. “I can’t fix it, so I’m getting rid of it.”
“It’s not that bad.” He tried to wrestle the scissors from me.
“Get out. I can do it.”
He got them away from me. “Stop, let me try.”
“No.”
“Why? If you're going to hack it all off anyways, what will it hurt?” He grabbed a comb. “Get it wet and come out here.”
I breathed out through my nose. “Do you even know how?”
“I grew up like you. Trial and error, and I quickly learned how.”
Muttering to myself, I turned on the tub and dunked my head under the water. It didn’t matter. I was going to cut it all off anyway. After towel drying it, I marched into the bedroom and sat in the chair Watt had moved to the middle of the room.
“I’ll fix it. Calm down.” He started to comb through the mass. “It’s not horrible.”
“It’s slanted,” I grumbled. “That stupid thing.” I gripped my knees.
He tilted my head back and parted my hair down the middle. “Do you feel better today?”
“I’m fine.”
“Hmm… the cuts seemed to have healed. Sit up straight.”
I did so, and he started to trim the back. Listening to the sound of the scissors, I picked at my fingernails. “Astrid didn’t come today.”
“She’s in a bit of trouble for using you as a test subject.”
“The general?”
Watt nodded. “He wasn’t happy. Many of the higher-ups had a problem with it since if you had broken the chamber, a lot of people would have died.”
I swallowed hard.
“Are these the best scissors you have? They give the little kids better ones.”
Staring straight forward, I hoped he could sense how annoyed I was at him. Watt worked his way to the front and checked that the sides matched. My hair reached just below my shoulders. Maybe I had overreacted, but I was pretty sure a huge section must be missing, and then I’d cut it all off.
“I think that’ll do it.”
“Move.” I pushed past him and went to the bathroom.
Gripping the counter, I frowned at my reflection. Watt had fixed it. It appeared fine. I ran my hands along the back. It was all the same length. I turned around and looked over my shoulder—damn. I didn’t think I would be so annoyed about not having to cut all of my hair off.
Watt watched with an amused expression. “Does it get your approval?”
“Whatever.” I brushed it off my shoulders. “It’ll take less time to grow back.”
Shaking his head, he let out a sigh. “Sure, whatever you say.”
“You don’t even have hair. How did you practice cutting it?” I gathered mine up in my hands.
He scoffed and motioned to his head. “I have hair.”
“It’s not long.”
“I practiced on other people. However, I destroyed mine enough time that I decided to keep it short. It's super curly, so it’s hard to cut right. I just run a buzzer through it occasionally.” He laughed and left the bathroom.
Annoying bastard—I took off my shorts and climbed into the shower. Yanking the curtain into place, I turned on the water and rinsed off the little hairs. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to get new shorts. I tossed the other in the bin.
Watt had decided to make himself comfortable in my room! Why did he need to stick around? At least he had cleaned up the hair before taking over my space.
“You can leave.”
“I’m eating.” He lifted his sandwich.
“Eat somewhere else.”
“You need social interaction.” He opened a small bag of chips.
I perked up. I hadn’t had chips in a long time. I wasn’t allowed sugar or processed foods. It was clear by looking at the tray what was mine and what was Watt’s lunch. I got dressed and stood by the small table.
“Eat.” He motioned to my plate.
“I will when you leave.” Going to the bean bag, I flopped into it. I wished the chips were mine. He had other items in brightly colored packaging. It wasn’t fair. He was a high-level aster, too. I always had a bland sandwich, fruit, and vegetables.
“You’re so mopey.” He took a drink. “You’re only a couple of years younger than me, and I don’t remember being this moody at nineteen.”
“Because people won’t leave me alone.”
“That’s why you're so moody. You don’t know how to interact with people.”
“I wonder why,” I muttered.
People only came by when they wanted something from me. That was all that mattered to them. I wasn’t going to welcome them into my room when they only wanted to use me.
“Want one?” He offered the bag.
I sat up and stared at the orange chips. “I’m not allowed.”
“Astrid isn’t here.” He shook the bag. “You can have the rest.”
I wasn’t going to let him take it back. Snatching it from him, I sank into the bean bag. I ate one and smiled at the taste. It had been too long.
“So now that you’ve had a moment to adjust, how do you like your hair?”
I shrugged. “It’s fine.”
“It’s fine.” He laughed, rubbing his face. “What am I going to do with you, Eiko?”
Hopefully, nothing—I ate the last of the chips and poured the crumbs into my mouth.
“What do you like doing?”
“Hmm….” I wiped my face.
“When you are alone, what do you do? I doubt you sit at the window and watch people all day. That sounds pretty boring after a while.”
I sucked in my lips. I did it more often than I’d ever admit to him. Between watching people and listening to Hellana next door, I didn’t do much.
“Is that all you do?”
“No,” I replied quickly. “I don’t. I— I read.” I motioned to the bookshelf.
“You mean draw.” He reached for a book.
I dove at his hand and kept him from removing it. “Those are mine.”
“I thought it was just a book. Something to read.”
“It is.”
He snatched one on a higher shelf with his other hand and turned his body away from me. I tried to get around him before he could open it.
“Wow, you drew on every page.”
“Give it to me!” I practically had to crawl over him to get to the book. “They’re not good. I don’t know what anything looks like. I have to guess.”
“Oh, Hellana mentioned something about bringing you picture books and travel guides. Astrid freaked out or something like that.”
“I got in trouble. They’re not allowed.” I ripped the book out of his hands. “Stop touching things.” I slammed it back into place, shaking the whole self.
“I’ll bring you some tomorrow.” He leaned against it with his arms folded.
“I’m not allowed to have them,” I stated. “Astrid already punished me once because Hellana tried to go against her. I don’t need Astrid testing any more shit out on me, so if you’re done, leave.”
“You haven’t eaten yet.”
Sitting on the floor, I grabbed the legs of the short table and dragged it closer. It squealed across the floor.
Watt flinched. “Was that necessary?”
I started eating. If I ignored him long enough, he might get out.
Watt sat at my desk and watched me instead. It was making me self-conscious.
“Do you want them?” he asked.
Shoving a carrot in my mouth, I glared at him. “What?”
“The books.”
“You don’t listen,” I breathed. “No one in this goddamn place listens to me.”
“I do. Astrid is in trouble. If you want them, now is the time because she can’t do anything at the moment. It’s her turn to be punished for a change.”
I swallowed what was in my mouth. “Yes.”
Watt leaned back in his chair. “What kind would you prefer?”
“Animals. The ocean.”
He nodded with a slight smile. “I’ll see what I can find.”
“You mean it.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t.”
Bowing my head, I finished eating and washed everything down with water. I was acting weird. Maybe it was because my hair kept falling into my face, and I wasn’t used to it.
Watt stacked the dishes onto a tray. “Promise me you’re not going to take scissors to your hair. I think this length looks good on you, and I’m pretty sure you’d come to regret it.”
Frowning at him, I scooted against the bookshelf. “I want it long. I was upset earlier.” I glared at the wall. “Cutting it would take longer for it to grow back.” I cleared my throat. “I’m done eating.”
“Yes, you are.” He made sure to get all the garbage before heading to the door. “I’ll bring you the books tomorrow.”
“Hmm….” Ignoring him, I chewed on my fingernail.
He left, but the awkward feeling didn’t go with him. I listened for a moment to make sure he wasn’t coming back or that Hellana decided it was her turn to visit me. I didn’t hear anyone nearby. Slowly rising, I crept to the bathroom. Gathering my hair, I turned from side to side before letting it drop. It wasn’t bad. I’d get used to it, and I could still tie it up if I wanted. I ran my fingers through it. I was still unsure about that man. I was leaning toward the idea that Watt might be an okay person—not great, but much better than Astrid. I needed more time to be entirely sure if he truly was trying to help me as a person and not as a weapon.
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