My outlook on life seemed brighter. Even the next morning, I felt great. I was debating organizing my shelves and desk. Paper and books were shoved everywhere, and it was starting to look a little chaotic. Opening a window, I took a deep breath. Children were playing a game in the gardens below. My overall mood was lighter—borderline happy.
Pulling the desk drawers out, I poured the contents onto the floor and began sorting through what I wanted to keep and throw away. A book with all of the pages drawn on had been sitting at the bottom. Flipping through it, I stopped on a couple of drawings. Nothing amazing—but I liked a few of the pattern designs. I went to the bookcase and pulled out a bookend so I could fit it in with the others.
There was a quick knock before the door opened. I lost my hold on the books, and they toppled over. Watt entered, and his eyes fell on me.
“Um… hi.” I struggled to get them to stand upright. “I’m cleaning.” After shoving the bookend back into place, I brushed my hair out of my face. “I’m still feeling good. Whatever they did really worked.”
“Eiko.”
“Y—you left your book. I put it somewhere.” I searched the floor. “I didn’t want to accidentally mistake it for one of mine.” I clasped the back of my neck as I tried to remember where I had put it. “Drawing on the pages would make it hard to read.”
“Eiko.” He touched my arm.
Turning to him, I was confused by the sadness in his expression.
“I have to tell you something.”
“Did I do something wrong?” I swallowed hard. “Are you leaving?” My eyes grew wide.
Watt shook his head. “A bomb was dropped in Western Pagora.”
What did that have to do with me? My heart rate picked up as I waited for him to continue.
“According to the reports, it had the power of an onabi.”
“What?” My breath caught as I reached for the edges of the desk. Finding my chair, I sat and I stared at the floor.
“Asters in the west said they could sense the energy originated from an onabi. We haven’t claimed the attack yet, but there are only two onabi that we know about. Southern Pagora has already denied being behind it.”
They didn’t—a sob escaped before I clasped my hand over my mouth.
I fell over my knees and hid my face. “Get out.”
“Eiko?” He moved closer.
“Get out!” My tattoos flared. I could feel that my eyes were flicking. “Leave, I— I don’t want you here.” I pressed my palms to my eyes. “I don’t want anyone here.” The tears started to fall. I killed those people. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, and I ended up doing it anyway.
I flinched when Watt wrapped his arms around me. My energy became more defensive, but he didn’t seem affected by it. He pressed my head to his shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
I started to sob and cried into his chest. I killed them. People were dead because of me. Why had I put myself through hell my entire life for this? I had been turned into a weapon, just like they wanted.
“It’s alright.” He smoothed back my hair from my face.
I lifted my head and stared at his hand. Clutching his wrist, I pressed his hand to my cheek. “Do it, please. It hurts so much.”
“Come here.” He led me to the bed.
Watt sat and held out his arms. I didn’t wait to be told what to do and straddled his legs. I wanted him to take away this pain. Grabbing his hands, I brought them to my face. It was hard to breathe. They tricked me. Astrid tricked me into giving them my power.
“It’s okay, Eiko.” He scooted up against the headboard and moved my hair away from my forehead. “Deep breaths.”
I did so and felt relief run across my skin from his touch. My head started to clear, and my eyelids felt heavy. Collapsing onto his chest, I slowed my breath. His fingers flickered with white light. I brought one to my chest and held it there. Relief pulsed from his palm. The panic started to fade as Watt put his other arm around me, and small tattoos were placed on my arm and side.
I wasn’t going to let them do it again. It was my energy, my power, and I wouldn’t let them turn me into a weapon—never again.
***
“Wow, this is unexpected.”
I opened my eyes slightly.
“He’s sleeping,” whispered Watt.
“Did you tell him?” replied Hellana quietly.
“Yeah.”
She sighed. “It’s horrible what they did. So many died…. it destroyed a whole city.”
My breath caught. I could get enough air into my lungs.
Watt lifted my head. “It’s alright. It’s okay. Just breathe.” He cupped my face. “It isn’t your fault. They did it. Not you.”
A light prickle ran across my skin, and air entered my lungs. I settled onto his chest.
“Sorry,” said Hellana when our eyes met. “I thought— I’m really sorry, Eiko.”
I became more conscious of Watt’s arms being around me. It was a weird feeling. Not bad, but I didn’t like him being so close, either. Moving my hair out of my eyes, I sat up.
“How are you feeling?” asked Watt.
“It hurts.”
Hellana sat up straight.
“My chest.” I pressed my hand to it. “It’s tight.”
“I don’t think we can do anything about that,” said Watt.
Nodding, I moved off him and went to the bathroom for a drink of water. I stood in the doorway holding the plastic cup. “Did you know? Did either of you know what that machine did?”
They both shook their heads.
“Astrid knew,” I said in a shaky voice. “That damn bitch.” I covered my eyes. My tattoos glowed as light sparked in my hands. I needed to calm down. Finishing my drink, I returned to my bed and sat beside Watt. He went to move.
“My head hurts.”
His hand ran through my hair, and the calmness returned. He was good to have around for this reason alone. The man made it so I didn’t have to think.
The room was quiet. Watt and Hellana looked lost in their thoughts as they stared blankly across the room.
“What’s next?” whispered Hellana.
Watt seemed to be searching the ceiling for answers. He stopped on one of the cameras.
“Eidy is in the guard station,” said Hellana.
Nodding, he shifted. “I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“Astrid is going to make me do it again,” I muttered, “so they can blow something else up.”
“Most likely,” sighed Hellana. “I heard General Mayer is also coming.”
Watt scoffed. “Of course he is. He needs to see the fancy new death machine.”
I flinched.
“Not you.” His eyes grew wide. “I meant the new chamber, not you.”
Letting out a deep breath, I scowled at the floor. “I’m just the battery that powers it.”
They both gave me nervous smiles. It was true.
“We’ll figure it out.” Watt brushed my hair onto my back. “They can’t force you to release your energy.”
“They know how to coerce it out.” I sat up and scratched the tattoos on my arm.
I could hear clicking down the hallway. My head snapped to the door as Astrid opened it.
“What do we have here?” She looked around at us. “A pity party.” She folded her arms and puffed on her cigar. “You two can leave.”
Hellana shot to her feet. “What you did is unethical?”
Astrid blew smoke in her face. “War is unethical. Out.” She motioned.
Bristling, Hellana marched from the room.
“You, too. Go do something productive for once.”
Watt stood and glared at the woman. “Just remember karma is a bitch,” he said in passing.
“Scary.” She blew smoke into the hall. “So, you’ve heard.”
I could feel my eyes changing colors.
Enjoying her cigar, she leaned against the doorframe. “You’re going to win this war for us.”
“Fuck you.”
She laughed. “Oh, Eiko. If we win, you get to go home.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
Astrid shrugged. “Maybe you’ll get a nicer room.” She flicked the ashes onto the floor. “If it makes you feel better, technically, you didn’t kill anyone. We took a resource and made something from it. It's all about how you look at things.”
“It doesn’t make me feel better.”
“So fucking whiney.” She rubbed her forehead. “It doesn’t matter. The chamber worked, and the other territories are figuring out the bomb came from us. Now that we know it works, we can blow up the Southerners' aster intuitions and take care of that problem.”
That wasn’t happening. I locked eyes with her.
“Don’t be a rebel, Eiko.” She pushed off the wall. “One way or another, we’ll draw your energy out and make as many bombs as we want.”
“Good luck,” I replied.
Her expression changed from her smug look for a moment. “Don’t test me.”
My face remained blank.
Astrid looked around. “Clean up this mess. You know the rules.” Grabbing the handle, she slammed the door behind her.
I knew pain. I learned how to resist and conceal my power. That was what I had been trained to do for the last twelve years; for once, it was going to come in handy.
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