Another day of training, another day of watching Lisu ace everything she does immediately.

“Wow! I can’t believe I’m this amazing!” she boasts after beating Zhiqiang within a minute. He doesn’t seem to mind, instead gazing up at her with adoration from where he’s pinned onto the ground. 

“You’re so amazing!” he gushes, repeating her words. 

“I know!”

Luckily, Lisu still has other things to do in her house, so she soon leaves, leaving us alone to train with Master Xia. Even though she trains for about a tenth as long as we do, she’s already pretty much caught up to us, both in terms of skill and qi core level.

“Hu, you lucky chap, get to learn the ‘Sunbathing Lizard’ technique with me!” Master Xia says. “Everyone else can have today off.”

“I’d rather not,” I mutter. Zhiqiang mouths ‘have fun’ before flying away with Qiao. 

Master Xia immediately begins instruction. “Ok. So do you know why Lizards like to soak up the sun?”

“Because they’re cold-blooded animals who can’t regulate their own body heat,” I say, remembering what I had learned from biology. “They do that to raise their body temperature.”

“Wrong! Where have you learned all this weird information?” Master Xia shakes his head. “I’ve never heard of something as ridiculous as that. How can animals have cold blood?”

“That’s basic biology!” I resist the urge to yell. This world makes no sense; they have machine guns but don’t know what cold-blooded animals are?

Master Xia sighs. “I’ve lived longer than you and I’ve never learned, or even heard of Biology, so it can’t be basic. Anyways, Lizards soak up sun to store power in their qi core and become yao and eat everyone.”

“That makes as little sense as my point,” I say skeptically. 

Master Xia continues on, ignoring me. “We will be copying their technique in order to temporarily raise the power of our core so the next move we do will be more powerful.”

“Oh,” I say, relieved. “So it’s just a power gathering technique.”

“That’s right. Now follow along with me.”

Master Xia gets down on his hands and knees, before waiting for me to follow. After I’ve done so, he stretches his head out in a seal pose and points it up at the sky.

“Wait, this is just yoga,” I say. 

“No, I’m not done yet. You must make the sounds appropriate for a lizard.”

He begins making strange, guttural noises in a pale imitation of a lizard. 

“No way am I doing that!”

“Yes you are. You will stay here until you figure out the technique.”

“Lizards don’t even sound like that!”

But Master Xia keeps on making that weird noise until I follow him. After about ten minutes of this, I haven’t felt anything. My core feels static, not growing at all; the weird sound is detracting from the meditating. 

“I think your technique is wrong,” I say. “Nothing’s happening.”

“Keep practicing. Remember, moves take a long time to learn,” Master Xia assures me, glancing up at the sun to gauge the time. “We have a long time before sunset and we can continue into the night if you haven’t learned it yet.”

“This doesn’t sound like a reward. It sounds more like a punishment,” I complain.

“Gerahggasdweibvdfvergrekfwekfnewjfner,” Master Xia replies, back to making the weird not-lizard sound.

We’ve been doing this for about an hour, and I still haven’t learned it. I’m beginning to think this is a scam technique. I take a break to rest my vocal cords, and so does Master Xia.

“Geaohdjkscniepwfheroifherofjieorif,” something sounds behind me.

“Wow, that’s a really good imitation! Keep going, Hu,” Master Xia praises me.

“Wait, I didn’t do that,” I stand up, looking around. A bush rustles beside me, the person inside giving a startled meep.

“Over there!” Master Xia says, karate kicking the bush in half. Inside is…

“Oh, not another Ma child. Why do they keep following me?” I groan, looking down at Ma Zhixin, whom I remember to be Chang Ying’s son.

“Sorry, I just wanted to learn wugong so I can beat up the other boys,” Zhixin sniffles, trying to back away from us.

“We use wugong for good, not evil!” Master Xia reprimands him. 

“Sorry! Just please don’t catch Liling!” Zhixin falls onto his knees and prostrates himself on the ground.

“Are you that ignorant? You gave away the fact that your sister is on this mountain,” I snap at him, which causes him to break out into a fresh round of tears.

Master Xia stands up. “Liling might be in danger on this mountain. After all, there are many monsters here. I’ll take care of Zhixin here, and you go find her.”

“Understood.”

I fly towards the dorm, where Liling would probably head first. She’s not inside, but Zhiqiang and Qiao are. Zhiqiang is meditating and Qiao is reading through a scroll.

“Hey, what are you doing? You made me lose which page I was on!” Qiao scowls as I land onto the floor.

“It’s not my fault you’re so loose-fingered,” I snap back. “Have any of you seen Liling?”

“Liling? No. Why would she be here?” Zhiqiang asks curiously.

“Liling? Is she on the mountain? We need to save her! There could be a wild animal or monster that attacked her!” Qiao says, standing up. “I’ll go find her. Hu and Zhiqiang, you can stay here.”

“Actually, Master Xia told me-”

“Time for me to be the hero for once! You already have a girlfriend already. You don’t need another one!” taking advantage of my startled state, Qiao runs out of the cave before I can stop him.

“I mean, he isn’t wrong. Lisu will get jealous if you save Liling from monsters. The ‘damsel in distress’ position can only be afforded to her!” Zhiqiang says thoughtfully.

“We are not dating!” I growl, but the rest of Zhiqiang’s words do make sense. Qiao has always tried to one-up me, and he’s probably jealous I (unwillingly) have a girlfriend. He sees this as a competition: whoever saves Liling will get to date her. I’m not in the mood for that kind of competition today. 

“Fine. Let’s just wait here,” I agree. 

“By the way, what did you learn with Master Xia?”

“Don’t even ask about it,” I mutter burying my face into my hands.