As far as first dates go, this is going really well. We met up for a drink but got so caught up in the conversation that we took it to dinner, to another drink, and now we are walking around aimlessly, simply aiming to extend our time together.

Edward’s journey is sensibly similar to mine. He was in business school when he decided to drop everything to pursue his dream to be a photographer, to his parents’ despair. I guess that’s where our stories diverge, though. He knew what he wanted to do, and he is successful at it.

I could feel bitter about it, but this is actually truly inspiring.

He stops right in front of a hotel and says: “Here we are.” I stop too, confused. I know the evening was going well, but it is still very forward, and a little uninvited, to take me to a hotel.

But he chuckles at my confused look. “It’s my place. I’m living in a hotel at the moment because I’m barely back in the states and after the show’s preview, I still don’t know where I will settle.”

“I see. The world is your oyster?”

He scrunches his nose in an ‘I don’t know’ fashion. “Connecticut is my oyster. Or any neighboring state. I think I have been away from my family for a long time and it’s time to be around again. Especially as I made something of my art and I can rub it in their faces.”

“Which you totally deserve to do.”

He smiles and his eyes electrify me again. Which only gets more intense as they quickly dart toward my lips.

Ah. The big first date question. Kiss or no kiss? Right now, we can’t pretend it happened naturally. We are too far from each other and one of us will have to literally step in. I think that the fact that he looked at my lips means that he wants to kiss me. And after this evening, I totally want to kiss him too.

So I stop letting my past hold me back, I ignore all about the fact that it’s still winter, I take a step forward, and his hand cups the back of my head before our lips touch.

For the smallest second, I think about another kiss, one I stopped not so long ago, but reality soon pushes everything else to the background. This is what I want. Lips that want to kiss me even when they are sober – although we went for drinks twice, we both hardly drank any alcohol. Lips that value love over nightly encounters. Lips that kiss this well.

He might be the best kisser I’ve ever had the opportunity to put my lips on.

“So, Mr. Scott. Any chance of us doing this again? Preferably soon?”

My last name sounds weird in my ears but I push the idea aside. “I would absolutely love that!”

He smiles for a second and then leans in for another kiss. This one lasts longer and we are both a little out of breath at the end of it.

“Feel free to put me back in my place, but…”

“I would love to come up,” I reply before he can even ask.

We stay a few feet away from each other the entire way to his room but I am all over him as soon as we close the door. He kisses me back with the same enthusiastic energy.

We abandon coats and shoes almost without unlocking lips, a little lost in each other. This is a heady feeling. I missed this. It is moving very fast, sure, but this isn't random sex for the sake of sex. This is discovering a form of intimacy with someone I like and bonded with. This is not something that will make me feel dirty in the morning.

We collapse on his bed, still kissing and I love the careful way his hands are exploring, taking their time, still over clothes, still above the belt, even if there is more and more fire in our kisses.

We roll and he ends up on top of me. I love the feel of his weight on me, the heat of his body through our clothes...

My hands try to slide under his sweater but he grabs them and pulls them down gently.

“Sorry,” I breathe out. “Too fast?”

His incredible eyes are soft when they stare back at me. “Yes and no. I was definitely going right there with you, but… we should take a moment to talk about it. I still don't know what you like and there is something I need to tell you. I usually say it much earlier but I think I have been a little overwhelmed by you all evening and that took all the place in my mind.”

“That last sentence was both flattering and ominous.”

“It's nothing bad, even if it took me a long time to accept that, but it's a deal-breaker for most guys.”

I prop myself up to kiss him gently. I don't want to make any promise as I don't know what he is about to share with me, but I want him to know that it's okay. He can at least say it. This is a safe place and I won't judge.

Or so I hope. I don't know what he could say that would be so terrible.

“I'm undetectable.”

“Oh.”

I never faced that situation before. Not being with someone positive, statistically, that happened to me at least once, but to have someone announce it to me openly like this. I love his honesty. And I remember all the campaigns I saw online. I also remember all the readings I did when I was still prepping for med school. Even without a condom, which I am confident isn't where we would be going, I wouldn't be at risk.

“This isn't a deal-breaker,” I tell him and his face melts in relief.

He kisses me thoroughly before saying: “I definitely want to do things with you, tonight, now, but I'd like to wait for another time before putting penetration on the table…”

“We'll go at whatever pace feels right to us,” I promise.

“God. This exhibition definitely was the best thing ever,” he says and we both giggle.

I wake up in Edward's arms, naked, satiated, marked too, but there is nothing shameful, awkward, or uncomfortable. This is soft, warm, and just… wholesome.

“Morning,” he mumbles, eyes still closed.

I nuzzle against him and land a kiss on his neck. Then another one. And another one.

“Good morning,” I reply as he hums in pleasure.

He captures my lips and we stay like this a long time, sharing sweet kisses, never turning our make-out session into something sexual even though we are clearly on the edge.

“I don't want to ever leave this bed,” I say.

“Then what about room service for breakfast?” he offers. “And then we go back to a bit more of yesterday's activities before we have to start our day?”

“I can't think of a better plan…”