The sound of heavy rain filled my ears, but it’s not enough to distract my mind from thinking about him. As the picture of his back is gone, I’m still here, kneeling, and couldn’t do anything to stop him.

My mind goes blank. What should I do now? Waiting for him until he comes back when he’s done mad at me? No, I don’t think he can even forgive me. Then, should I wait until the rain stops? No, it’s a heavy rain, and I don’t know when will it stop.

I punched my thighs to stop the tremble. As soon as I’m back to my senses, I got up, grabbed my phone and run outside.

“Yo, what? The rain’s so noisy. Where are you?”

Slowly, I stopped my step. In the middle of this heavy rain, I looked at the dark sky above my head.

“… Help me.”

Silence. I guess he’s confused.

“What—"

I hung up.

I still remember the time Yato told me where his house is. Right now, the only person I can ask for help is him.

It’s a little far from here. I brought my legs to run faster. However, the wind blows towards me, as if it’s trying to push me away. My body feels so heavy, it’s slowing down my running.

Is that you, Riku? Did you try to stop me from chasing you?

For many times I tripped and fell over and over again, until my legs and hands are covered in blood, but those still can’t take you off my mind. I don’t even feel hurt, my body went numb.

What’s exactly wrong with me? Why do I act like this? Why do I feel so scared? What is it that scared me? I can’t understand these feelings. I’ve never been like this before.

Is this how it feels to be an Alpha? Is it really because of that?

Knock-knock

While waiting for someone to open the door, I tried to catch my breath.

Looking down, the floor where I’m standing now is wet with raindrops from my body mixed with blood.

“Is that you, Io—”

Our eyes met. He froze with his mouth wide opened.

“WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED TO YOU?!” He shook my body roughly.

“What’s wrong, Honey?”

Another voice is getting closer. That must be Yato’s boyfriend. Yato has indeed said that they are living together.

“….”

The moment he saw me, Yato’s hand quickly covered his mouth tightly.

“W-Well, come in first. You should clean your wounds.”

***

Ichiro—Yato’s boyfriend—gave me a first aid kit and some bandages. After they let me borrow their bathroom, I treat my wounds in a hurry. I can’t waste my time here.

“Here. Drink first, then talk slowly.” As if he understood my uneasiness, Yato pushed me a glass of water.

I took a deep breath, drink it quickly. I put the empty glass back on the table and looked blankly at it.

With a lot in my head, I said, “Riku’s gone ….”

“Huh? What do you mean?” asked Ichiro.

When I looked at him, Yato seemed to calm him by stroking his back. I can see worries on his face. 

I’m looking down at my clenched hands. “He’s mad at me and left the house.”

“What?! Why didn’t you chase him?!” He yelled at me.

“I can’t!” I punched the table. “He threatened me! He brought a knife and said that he’d kill himself if I chase him!”

He fell silent. No one said a word afterward.

My head hurts. The wounds are started to sting, even my vision is blurred.

“I don’t know where should I look for him. I haven’t known him long, I also don’t know his friends. You’re the one I can ask for, so please, help me ….”

When Ichiro is about to open his mouth, Yato interrupted.

“Iori,” he called me coldly. “What is he to you, actually?”

I froze, couldn’t get an answer. What is he to me? It has never crossed my mind before.

“W-What? A good friend, of course.”

“Friend?” Yato stood up. He pushed a cigarette roughly into the ashtray. “Friend, you say?! You ran all the way here only to beg me for help, wounded your body like crazy, and you’re still thinking of him as a f*cking friend?! How dumb are you, actually?! I’ve never met an Alpha as dumb as you are.”

He grabbed my collar, glaring at me.

I frowned. “The f*ck? What’s wrong with you? Whatever he is to me aren’t your business.”

Just after I said that, he gave me a punch on my cheek.

“What did you say, you punk?! I told you to protect him and treat him well, but if you’re this dumb, how can I even entrust him to you?!”

I just remained still, while actually thinking about his words. Dumb? What does he mean?

“Honey, calm down.” Ichiro finally made Yato sat down after trying hard. He then took a deep breath. “Iori-kun, right? Can you tell me what’s exactly going on between you and Riku?”

His gaze is gentle, it calmed me a little.

“I can’t tell you exactly what, but the point is, I have a huge debt to him. Not only about money, but he let me live in his house for the time being, and even willing to be my friend when I don’t have somebody else. He … he’s so kind to me, and I feel deeply indebted. So, before I could totally pay him back, I promised to myself that I’ll treat him the best I can. That’s it. It's because of the debt, nothing else.”

I see him met Yato’s gaze, then giggled. I frowned. What’s so funny?

“Have you ever been in a relationship before?”

“I have, but all are girls. I’m … not an Alpha, before.”

He looked shock, and so is Yato. That’s right, only Riku knows this.

Ichiro’s shocked face relieved quickly. He took a deep breath and smiled.

“Then, how about this.” He stole a cigarette from Yato’s mouth and took a sip of it. “If it was indeed merely because of the debt, then, will you do the same thing if it were someone else? Let’s say, you are indebted to me or Yato. Will you also do all of these things? If I or Yato were mad at you and left you, will you also wound yourself like this to get us back?”

My mouth closed completely. I wanted to answer ‘of course’ right away, but I don’t think that's true. If it were someone else, I don’t think I would do such a thing. I don’t care about anyone else, but Riku.

I do all of these because it’s Riku.

“One last question, then.” I see him smirking. “How if you see Riku with somebody else? One day, an Alpha come and take him. He’ll love Riku and make him happy, then make a family with him ….”

Suddenly, I felt hot on my eyes and my cheeks are wet.

He giggled. “Oh no, a golden eye with tears on.”

I wiped my face rough. I think I can understand why he asked me all those questions.

He stood up and pat my shoulder. “Well, it’s indeed a new thing to you, but don’t try to deny it. You’ll get used to it sooner or later.”

When Ichiro is about to leave, my phone is ringing. It’s an unknown number.

“… Who—”

“Iori, is it?! It’s Kyo, we met at the market before. I’ll get to the point now, listen carefully.” He seemed to control his breath before continue to talk. “Riku got kidnapped by Haruto, his ex. I couldn’t do anything since he released his disgusting pheromones a lot until it was even affected me. You should help him somehow! He’s in danger!”