Miavel

I never had many fantasies about marriage. Most of mine were about running away, off to a small farm with a few animals. Of me taking care of myself, of no fancy dresses or shoes or people. Just me. It would be peaceful. I could read books most of the time and nobody would be able to tell me how to act and what to say.

Those were things I couldn’t get in this life. The ability to say what I wished was just a wild concept. If that hadn’t been the case, I wouldn’t have married a complete stranger, especially not King Talyn. No, I would’ve negotiated something else. I guess, even in thinking that, I wasn’t much like my father. I supposed that was a good thing.

Still, marriage. I was married now. Bound to him forever. I couldn’t say I wasn’t scared. I was. Truly. And to think, I’d always thought of marriage as something with love and trust at its core. Despite how horrible my parents had been, they’d always go to each other with information. Scheme together. The togetherness was what I figured married life would be like. To go to the other when in need. To always be thinking of your spouse. To hold each other’s hand through tough times and always support each other. To talk…

But was it really meant to be like this?

I mean, even strangers talk more than this when they meet for the first time.

I wasn’t sure where to look in the carriage, but I knew one thing for certain, I was not going to stare at him. Mr. Silence. The man I just offered the rest of my life to. The one, just by size alone, made me fearful for my future, or rather, the approaching end of my future. Rumors that I knew didn’t help either, even if I wasn’t trying to use those as the basis for how I saw him.

Though… I could see why those rumors came to light. He hadn’t smiled once. He carried himself tall. He seemed strong. The darkness that lingered in his eyes from memories of old didn’t help his case either. There may not have been a bloodthirsty gleam to his face, but he honesty didn't need it to intimidate others.

Others, as in me.

The ring was uncomfortable on my finger, but I couldn’t do anything about it now, even as I fiddled with it, spinning it around and around, rubbing my skin raw under it. It was all done. We were lawfully wedded in the customs of the Thera Kingdom. I, myself, was now one of them. Specifically, Miavel Mariana Thera. I was no longer a Cita.

I held back my sighs, but my thoughts were endless. Was I supposed to say something? Was it even allowed? Nobody had said anything about this! No, it was all, ‘when he takes you to his bed’ and ‘wear this’ and ‘let him lead’.

So much for being prepared.

Then again, I hadn’t even known I was getting married until three weeks ago. The whole rush of preparations with the fittings and lessons had taken over my life for all of those 21 days. There was no time for me to come to terms with my upcoming marriage before they thrust me into a dress and told me how to act. They hadn't even given me an hour after they first told me I was getting married. I barely had a chance to read up on Thera's culture and customs before I was thrown into a carriage and brought here.

I clutched the skirts of my dress in the silence, ceasing the fidgeting only when I felt his gaze on my hands. By the time we reached our destination, I was ready to burst, to scream, to do anything that would counter the deafening silence. Not even the scenery outside, as we rode through the streets of the capital city to get to the palace, could take away from the uncomfortable silence that was happening between us.

Though, I supposed we weren’t the most normal couple. I’d never met him even once before walking down the aisle to him. Honestly, I’d be surprised if he knew my name.

When the carriage stopped, he stepped out and away without a backward glance, speaking to the man waiting there for us.

“Take her to the Emerald Room to rest.”

“Your Majesty?” The shock on the man’s face turned to me before he quickly looked back. Whatever he saw on the King’s face wiped the shock away as fast as it had come. “Yes, of course.” He bowed his head, until the King passed him by.

And he left me there, on the seat of the carriage, alone. It seemed I wasn’t even worth a backward glance. Perhaps he didn’t know that I wouldn’t be able to exit on my own. Perhaps he just assumed it wasn’t his duty. I’d have thought that maybe chivalry didn’t exist in Thera, if I didn’t know any better.

But, for some reason, it felt - it was almost like he was afraid to touch me. Like I was something contaminated that would infect him upon contact.

I sighed lightly, as that was all my constrained lungs could afford.

What did I expect, especially after that nightmare of silence I had just suffered through? Did I expect him to suddenly change? To become a charming knight that oozes chivalry? I shook away such useless thoughts.

Maybe, instead of himself, he thought of me as a monster?

As I grabbed the hand offered to me by the smiling escort I’d been given, I wondered what had happened in the negotiations. Had my father said or done something to make the whole of Cita look bad? Or… just me? You’d think he’d want to play up our worth if we wanted to be free of Thera’s declaration of war. That was just three months ago... then again, how long did it take for them to decide marriage was the best solution? A marriage to me, that is.

I wobbled a bit as I stepped down, silently scolding myself for stepping down with the wrong foot first, but managed to make it seem unnoticeable. The man didn’t bat an eye as he led me into the palace.

The palace…

Was wonderfully beautiful.

Marble and neatly placed decorations filled my view as we walked. It was clean and polished. The colors were light and bright. My shoes clicked and clacked as they came in contact with the floor. People rushed about, doing their duties, sneaking glances my way. Their hushed voices were unintelligible to my ears. Was I quite a spectacle? I supposed I was. Dressed finely in a large gown, being escorted, a glittering ring on my hand? Yes, what a sight I must be to them. Their gazes were large in number but far easier to handle than his. That is, my new husband’s gaze.

I nearly stopped in my tracks at a loud thought that intruded into my head.

Was I supposed to call him by title or name?

Was it ‘your majesty’ or…

All of a sudden, it was very warm. I felt a flush rise to my cheeks. With the title of Princess, only a slim few had ranked above me. Yet, despite being accustomed to calling most people by name, calling him…

Talyn?

That was his name, and if I ever had to say it aloud, I had a dreadful feeling I was going to stutter and pronounce it all wrong even if it was quite nearly self-explanatory. Talyn, like a bird’s talons.

But him?

Calling him Talyn?

Ha.

It would be better to say ‘my king’ and even that was embarrassing enough.

Not being able to say your spouse’s name? Great job, Mia. You’re doing great at your new job.

I missed most of the scenery on the walk due to just the thought of saying his name, but when the man escorting me opened up the door to the so-called Emerald Room, every last thought that was within me left.

It was like a dream.

The palace was all worldly and made of rock, but this? This was all vibrant and alive. The ceiling was glass as well as two of the walls, letting the light of the sun shine in constantly.

A conservatory.

I’d always asked for one, just a small one, back in Cita, but it was always never in the budget. My sister got new gowns worth three conservatories each. I often tried not to think about that.

But, this? If this was something I could visit every day, things were looking… a lot less grim than before. Who cared if my husband was like a barely civilized, and silent barbarian type of person?

My feet led me in without issue and I thanked the man before he closed the doors and left. Two attendants were already inside the room, quietly preparing tea in the corner as well as what looked like a plate of refreshments.

I couldn’t smell the cookies.

All I could smell were the flowers and greenery that seemed to stretch far and wide in the room. After taking a loop around the room, I was greeted by the attendants who had brought over the food and drink to a bench and small table in the center of the room. I sat down and gave them my thanks.

Despite being able to sit, it was several minutes before I fell into a comfortable pace of breathing again. My ankle ached horribly from use. However, the blooming flowers that surrounded me lulled me into a peaceful place where I forgot all of my worries and troubles. I was just Mia. Mia in a garden. Mia of the flowers.

I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of my own little piece of heaven.

After an hour, the escort came back to guide me to the banquet. Well, it wouldn’t be wrong to call it a party, would it? A celebration. A showing of the King and Queen of Thera to all. The food was just a part of that. He led me down new corridors, making me realize that I was going to get lost in this palace a lot before I could find my way on my own.

It was then that I recalled how my mother always had a lady-in-waiting accompanying her everywhere. Since I was now a queen as well, would my fate be to never get a shred of privacy?

I'd only gotten privacy because nobody had really put much thought into me as a Princess of Cita. I was like a forgotten Princess, barely getting the help of one maid, let alone two. On occasion, when I took an outing to volunteer my help to the people, I'd step away, alone, and nobody would follow me. They'd only come to get me if I'd been away for too long.

A moment flashed through my mind just then. The day and reason my ankle procured its problems. That day, I ended up not being alone on my walk. Though, tumbling down a cliff and nearly getting shot weren't exactly fun. Humoring myself for a minute, I wondered what that young man had become. He was the first person, maybe would be the only one, to ask why I wasn't crying. His words came back to me after some thought.

"You're hurt. In pain. Shouldn't you be crying?"

I almost smiled remembering the dumbfounded confusion in his voice and gaze. I made a silent wish, hoping that he'd found real happiness, like I'd told him to.

We turned the corner and he was there, King Talyn. The ring I’d put on his hand caught my eye first. I tried to think of only cool things, things that would not make my cheeks flare up in remembrance of the feeling of his callouses, or my lips to the back of his hand. His name was a good thing to avoid thinking of as well, I told myself glumly.

Think of the carriage ride. The horrible carriage ride.

I took that hand that he offered and stared down at the floor.

“Keep your gaze up,” was all he said before the doors opened.

I lifted my chin just a bit as he led me out onto the dais, where two seats sat behind us. I couldn’t bring myself to smile at all, not as the applause at the party beginning roared through the room, or at the few of Cita’s citizens who were scattered throughout the room. Talyn led me back to the thrones to sit down as people mobbed the dance floor.

For a few seconds I was confused. Then it clicked.

Right.

A wedding custom in Thera. Let the people rejoice first, and then at the seventh song, the married couple dances alone for the first half and the people join in by the end.

I’d read that in a book at some point. My family hadn’t thought it necessary to learn about the customs of the Thera for my future life. No, it was all about the wedding night and etiquette for standing and sitting. Dancing barely made the list. Just enough so that I wouldn’t make a fool of them in public, as we were all still related. Even if I became a part of Thera, everything I did would still reflect back on Cita. They’d hate for me to make the small Kingdom a laughingstock within the largest Kingdom on the continent.

I lost track of the songs as my thoughts barreled on without a care in the world. Of my family, of my new husband, of the stupid rings – like really, rings shouldn’t be making me feel lightheaded! So, as it came time, I was a bit surprised as Talyn stood up, turned to me, and held out a hand. I took it, almost without thinking, and realized all too late as he led me down the steps, that I was supposed to dance now.

With him.

How was I supposed to make it through one whole song?!

Just a few minutes was like the equivalent of an eternity here, especially after that carriage ride.