Dear diary, my peaceful days are over. Or rather, my peaceful days at home. I'm optimistic that my days will continue peacefully, but I'll be attending my first tea party soon. Millana's first tea party since losing her memories.

All of Millana's friends have heard about her memory loss. Thankfully the doctor encouraged being truthful about that, and Millana's... my... parents have been supportive of that. To help move on past the memory loss, or even to help gain the memories back, the doctor said it was better to be honest about it so my friends can help me heal too.

Letters have been pouring in from them since they've heard the news. Encouragement and well wishes for my health, but also typically accompanied with a fond memory from our friendship. I think my parents are slightly disheartened that none of my friends' reflections have jogged my memories, but I'm just pleased to know that Millana has such kind and supportive friends. That I have such friends. Deep down I know my parents are grateful too, they just have more to mourn, losing a Millana that I never truly knew. Even if they can't tell I'm literally a different person, it's true that memory loss, starting with a fresh slate, would cause Millana to be changed, not the same person she had been even if she was still the same person.

But I've digressed. My lessons are over now and I've passed with flying colors. It's been a long time learning, but with evenings to wander the garden, explore the manor, and peruse the romance novels in the library, the time has been enjoyable and feels like it passed by quickly. At least, now it feels like it passed by quickly. During lessons and homework it sometimes felt like time was moving at a snail’s pace, while I struggled to understand and memorize. Why, Diary, are there 10 different utensils between all the forks, knives, and spoons to use during a meal? I can't tell you that (it seems quite unnecessary to me), but I've memorized them all and use them properly now. So that's why I'm preparing for a tea party.

Oh, and I've also been learning how to ride a horse. I'd asked my parents for lessons in horseback riding and in sword fighting. They agreed to the horseback riding. Some ladies do take up sword lessons. I've seen some female knights when I pass by the training field. In my case, however, my parents told me that I didn't need to risk another brain injury. Although I suspected they'd had a similar conversation with pre-injury Millana in which they'd had to make up a different excuse to say no, I didn't argue. If it was something that would cause them stress, I didn't want to push, and they had agreed to the horseback lessons. They haven't let me ride far yet, but I am able to ride now and am confident I'll be prepared once they do let me past the training pen.

Another thing to update you in, Diary, is that I met my brother, who made a visit home from the academy. Since he heard about my memory loss, he asked for special permission to leave the academy for a few days and check in on me. When he arrived he approached cautiously, like he was afraid of scaring me since I no longer knew him, and maybe also like he was afraid of finding me so changed he'd not know me anymore either. Still, I could tell that it was a loving gentleness, a respectful, slow approach. I had an immediate appreciation for him, and he's grabbed my affection since then as a doting brother. He's joined me on my garden walks and my library visits, and quizzed me on what I've learned from my lessons, all the while asking if I'm comfortable or if I need anything.

When my brother (his name is Alvize) learned about my upcoming tea party, he declared I needed a new dress for the occasion. It was my first venture into town, and he let me dawdle at the market stalls on the way. Just walking down the street and seeing all the merchandise and the people mingling was fun. In particular, though, I did linger at a jewelry stall, captivated by a necklace, earring, and bracelet set. They were bright red and reflected beams of light from them like a laser show. It was captivating to turn them in the sunlight and watch the world around us twinkle. Alvize watched as I played with it, saying nothing as I left it behind for the dress shop.

Once in the dress shop he demanded the catalogue and sat me down to flip through all the designs and pick my favorite. There was one style in particular that I liked, a light blue dress that puffed out around the skirt, simple but elegant, so I pointed it out. I thought that would be that, but he declared that I should try on all the dresses they currently had in my size. I didn't know it could be so exhausting to try on dresses! It felt like there were a million. Somehow it was still enjoyable even by the end, with my brother declaring with each one that I made the dress beautiful, and that I somehow increased the beauty of the dresses further with each new dress.

But, Diary, at the end Alvize tried to buy me all the dresses! He said, "I'll take everything from here to here," and pointed at every single dress I'd tried on! They'd been laid out all in a neat line for display after I'd tried them. There wasn't any need for that when we'd come to buy one dress for one tea party. I wasn't going to wear all those dresses to one tea party, and I told him that. In the end we compromised on five dresses. He wouldn't go any lower, as much as I tried, and I did try.

He also was particularly insistent on one of the dresses, a ruby colored dress with black trim. He'd mostly let me pick which ones I wanted in the five, but that one he chose himself and wouldn't budge. It had looked especially good on me, he'd said. It was nice, but so were most of them. There didn't seem anything in particular special about it to me, but if he thought it looked best on me maybe I hadn't picked up enough of the noble fashion to recognize how lovely it was.

While we were discussing the dresses I’d noticed a man enter the store.  The attendants flocked to him, so he must have been very important.  It sounded like he was inquiring about a dress that he’d ordered for someone.  I glanced at his face, black hair, red eyes, and smooth skin.  It was almost like the light reflected off his face, like it was glowing, making him look dazzling.  Diary, I think he might have been the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.  Which definitely means that he’s trouble.  Once I realized that I was staring at him I quickly looked away.  That’s not someone that I ever want to get involved with.  I’m sure it would ruin my plans for a drama free, happy life.

As we left the dress shop the sun was starting to descend below the horizon, filling the sky with shades of pink and red.  It was breathtaking and grabbed my attention as we walked to the carriage.  With my head pointed toward the sky, I stumbled on an uneven cobblestone.  There was a moment in which I was falling and sure that it was going to hurt, and then my brother grabbed my arm.

Then he laughed and told me, “I’d ask if you’d forgotten how to walk too, Sis, but you being a klutz isn’t new so that’s almost a relief, I guess.”

His words surprised me, so I remember them.  It was an odd combination of sensitive and hurtful.  He was there to catch me, but he was also making fun of me.  It almost felt like he’d been so afraid for me earlier, since I’d been sick and not fully recovered, but in seeming to experience something familiar he was showing me more of him and our old relationship, like he maybe didn’t need to tiptoe around me quite as much anymore.  Indeed in some of our earlier interactions he’d looked like he was about to crack a joke and then thought better of it, like he wasn’t ready to show me that side of him yet, or didn't think I was ready to see it.  I appreciated that he was opening up more, but I also wonder if I’ll keep appreciating it or not.  Having a brother isn’t something that I’ve ever experienced before.  I’d seen the caring side of him up till now, because he had reason to be very concerned for me, but I think I’ll be experiencing more sibling teasing and arguments in the future.

Once we were back in the carriage and heading back to our mansion, my brother produced a small, rectangular box from his pocket.  He declared that he had gotten something to complete the red dress that he’d bought for me.  Unwrapping it I found, nestled inside the box, the set of ruby jewelry that had so captured my attention at the jewelry stall earlier.  There hadn’t been a time when we’d been apart long enough for him to buy it without my noticing, and yet somehow he had.  It was just as gorgeous as I remembered it, and I thanked him profusely.  He told me that he’d thought the ruby dress I’d just gotten might look plain without the jewelry set.

The following day my brother had to depart back to the academy.  He declared me properly prepared for my tea party, teasing that I would have disgraced the family name if he hadn’t come to help me prepare a dress, and said the he had to get back to his studies because they wouldn’t allow him to use me as an excuse to slack off for any longer.  Now I’ve met all my family, and I’m sure in my next report, Diary, that I’ll update you about the tea party.