My head was spinning. No…this couldn’t be happening. Kato had said the procedures would end! This was supposed to be it, the last of my pain and suffering!

Of course, though. It all makes sense. This is the reason they’re ending. Because they could not extract bone marrow from a corpse. They were going to take me to the capital so they could sacrifice me for their experiments.

I was going to die. I was going to be taken apart and used like an animal.

My entire body shook, and a jolt of pain from my spine shot through me, making my spinning head ache as nausea bloomed. I felt as if I would throw up my one meager meal.

As their footsteps receded, I started to walk, breaking into a stumbling run. Everything seemed fractured, almost too loud, my head swimming and my pulse racing as I kept going, running blind.

And then I was outside, racing along the streets, coming back to myself as I nearly slammed into the side of a building.

Shit. I didn’t stop, still stumble-running. Thank the Unborn One that it’s so late no one is on the street to see me like this. At any other time I would have been hauled back to the citadel, given twenty lashings, and left to curl up in pain in my room, alone.

I had no idea where I was going. I just needed to get away, far away, as far as I could go so that I might be safe for just a few moments, if that was even possible.

The conversation I’d heard ran through my mind on an endless loop as I kept running, finally breaking free from the central area of the citadel to the outskirts where the lower soldiers slept.

My eyes were wet, tears running down my face as a sob caught in my throat. I could barely see where I was, and I was so damn tired that I couldn’t…I couldn’t…

I fell to my knees in the dirt, trying to catch my breath. What am I going to do? Where am I supposed to go? I can’t let them take me away from here. I’m as good as dead if that happens. But there’s nowhere to go. I can’t leave this place. They will find me. It’s useless…

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I almost missed it, the sound of my own name, coming closer.

“Nepha!”

Suddenly strong hands were gripping my shoulders, and I looked up into the concerned face of Caius. Was this even real? Had I passed out from the pain and stumbled into a dream? Why would Caius be here?

No…that’s why I came here. To find him.

“Nepha, tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

I shook my head, tears still leaking from my eyes. Another sob escaped. How could I…how could this have happened?

Oh, Nepha. Why are you so shocked? You knew your time here was always limited, that eventually they would take everything from you.

Caius lifted me in his arms, and I was so exhausted, so wracked with sobs that I didn’t even scream as his arms pressed against my wounded spine. I only cried harder, burrowing into him as he carried me into the barracks yard and sat on the steps outside, holding me in his lap while I cried and cried.

I didn’t know how long we sat there, but even though I was being held by the only person who I cared about and who cared about me, I was almost certain I had never felt worse. I had been tortured again, and now I was to be sent away to die, one last experiment at the expense of my own life.

When the tears finally seemed to dry up, Caius pushed back my hair. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. How could I tell him that I was to be dissected like an animal for my bones to be used to revivify soldiers who died in battle?

My eyes caught on his shoulder. “What’s this?” I asked, my voice slightly hoarse as I indicated the satchel. “Were you going somewhere?”

“I was coming to find you, actually. Bringing you a poultice and some herbs I picked in the fields beyond the citadel. I know that when Kato visits you’re always sick for a bit after,” he said, frowning.

Caius didn’t know why I was sick, because the procedures were a secret from everyone except the priests. I had never dared to tell him either, knowing that he would only take it to heart and find a way to blame himself.

And suddenly I was crying again, because as bleak as my life had been, this was truly the worst thing that could have happened.

“Please, Nepha, tell me what’s wrong,” Caius pleaded. “How can I help you if you won’t tell me?”

I shook my head. “There’s n-nothing to be d-done. It is the w-will of High Mortis Kato, and n-no one can fight that.” In this place, whatever High Mortis Kato said would come to pass, came to pass. No one could go against him.

“What?” He stared at me, one brow rising. “What did High Mortis Kato say to you? Is he angry with you? Did he find out about you climbing the outside of the temple again? I’ll speak on your behalf, and maybe they’ll be lenient and only give you ten lashings instead of twenty.”

“I wish it was just lashings,” I whispered. “I can survive lashings. I cannot s-survive…” I trailed off, trying and failing not to imagine my fate, imagine the pain and the aftermath. I would be dead, having lived only in one place, having known so little joy in my life.

I didn’t want to die. I had barely had a chance to live.

Caius’s gaze was solemn. “Nepha, tell me now.”

Staring into his concerned eyes, I realized that I had to tell him. If only so I could say my final goodbye. My only friend in this whole world.

Escape was impossible. My fate was sealed.

“I…” I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly. “I am to be sacrificed so the Tricedium can use my bones in their revivification process. So they can attempt to bring back the dead with their souls intact like I did for—” I broke off, staring at him.

His eyes darkened. “Like you did for me.”

I shook my head, but Caius’s jaw tightened, and he set me down on the steps, jumping to his feet to pace restlessly, anger in every line of his body.

“They would really take your life?” he asked. “They would truly rather kill you when they don’t even know if it will work? No, that cannot happen. I cannot let that happen. Not when the whole reason they know about your ability is because of me.”

I had been afraid of this, that he would blame himself for my current predicament. He had already carried that burden for years, though he mostly kept it to himself. I knew every time he saw me in pain after a procedure, the shadow that passed over his face, the guilt he must have felt. I had never once held it against him, because I had chosen to save him all those years ago. And I would never regret that.

I rose, ignoring the pain in my back as I took his hands, forcing him to stop and look at me. “No, Caius, it’s not your fault. It is me who is the abomination.” I should not have been born like this, born at all. I was a carrier of misfortune, a blight on this place. Even if I wanted to live, perhaps it was…better this way.

No, you don’t really believe that. You’re scared out of your mind and want to run away. You want to leave this place, even though you know you can’t. You want to survive.

Caius, looking as if he was about to break, leaned down to rest his forehead against mine. I leaned into the touch, grateful to have him close to me, ready to savor this warmth for as long as I could. What if this is the last time I get to see him before…?

A tear slipped down my cheek, and Caius caught it, looking into my eyes with grim determination. “I will find a way to stop this, I swear.”

“There is no way to stop this.” Much as I wished otherwise. Much as I wanted to have a real chance at living, away from the citadel, from the priests, from the procedures, from High Mortis Kato.

I would never really be free of any of them now.

“As long as I am alive, as long as I am here, I will be under High Mortis Kato’s control,” I whispered.

Caius frowned, his expression becoming stony. “Then we must take you somewhere Kato cannot follow.”