I,  Penelope

By 

Amanda Hamlin

Chapter Two

The Touch

Part 2

Continued from Chapter 2, Part 1   

I'm riding my bike downtown.  It's the brutally hot middle of the summer and I don't even want to be breathing, much less ridding across a slab of burning asphalt.  The sweat is trickling down my back in a little stream.  I hate sweat.  It's smelly and makes my clothes stick to me.  Of course, my jeans are making it worse, but I don't own a pair of shorts.  I've forsworn them since seventh grade, when I noticed some of the guys would whistle at the girls in their gym clothes.  But something is at stake here, far more important than my personal comfort.  Kendra called me about ten minutes ago in great distress.  A true friend, I have no choice but to rush to her, even inside my personal sauna of jeans, t-shirt, and bike helmet.

I come skidding to a stop outside the Café Café, and make a dash for the life-saving air-conditioning within. Inside, I scan the room for Kendra's dark hair, spot her on the couch in the corner, and come up behind her.  I have to peel my bike helmet off my head and the hair underneath feels and probably looks like it hasn't been washed in weeks.  God, how I hate sweat.  Kendra is bent over, scribbling some moony song lyrics on a piece of paper.

I feel myself bristle with resentment.  I love Kendra dearly but, right now, her behavior is pissing me off.  I want to point out to her that, whatever her problem is, she's still had more success with guys than all her friends put together.  But, that would be a rude thing to say.  So, I settle for "what's wrong?" instead. 

"Sven's not being nice to me," she says, like she can't decide if she's hurt or angry.  

"Well, in my experience, he doesn't seem like a very nice person," I say tartly.  "He certainly isn't very smart."  Kendra gives me a "how could you?" look.  "So, what did he do?"

"Sometimes he just ignores me or acts like I'm not worth his time.  Today, I called him, and he said he didn't feel like doing anything.  Not couldn't.  Didn't feel like."

"Guys are assholes."  I shrug.

"Not, now, Penelope," she sighs.

"I'm hardly the person to give you advice on guys, with my zero-success record."

"Well, you have been hanging out with Sven a lot recently." 

"Are you jealous."  I feel bad about my spitefulness but I can't help it.

She gives me a hard look.  "I'm not your competition."  She knows I'm jealous of the close friendship she has with Robert. 

"No, not you, just Oochie, Smoochie, Poochie, and Hoochie.  In other words, the entire cheer-leading team.  And they're winning by saying no and I'm losing by being nice.  What the hell?"  

"You should wear shorts," Kendra suddenly exclaims. 

"Are you implying that would make Robert like me?"  I won't do it even so.  I'll stay alone rather than have someone like me for shallow reasons.

"No.  Don't get so defensive.  You just look like you're about to die in the heat."

"No thank you.  I think I'll stay the way I am."

"Well, I'm not ashamed of what I've got."  Obviously not, since your shorts are so short. I can see your butt hanging out.  And, obviously, the only reason I wouldn't want to do the same is because I think I'm not hot.  I do think that but that's not the point here.  

"The only thing I'm ashamed of is the way it makes other people act," I say shortly.  She looks like she wants to say something else.  "Aren't we supposed to be talking about your problem with Sven?" I ask quickly, turning the conversation away from Penelope's supposed flaws.

"And what am I supposed to do about him?" cries Kendra in exasperation.

"Slap him," I suggest.  "That's what I want to do most of the time I’m around him."

She gets a sort of dreamy, sensual, smile on her face.  "He'd like that," she says softly.  Then, quickly, "and I forbid you to do it."

"Oh, don't worry.  I know you've piss-marked your territory.  I wouldn't dream of stepping into it.  Besides, I don't want to.  In fact, I wouldn't take him if you begged me.  But, like I said, this is out of my league.  Have you talked to Julia about it?"

"No," snaps Kendra.  "You know she hates Sven and would just tell me I'm well rid of him."  Correction, she hates Sven and Robert and pretty much every other member of the male species I associate with.  On the other hand, she and Kendra usually have similar taste in guys so she has taken care to be extra cruel to her about this one exception.  

"Well, just remember that I'm none too fond of him myself," I mutter sourly.  "What do you see in him anyway?"

"Energy.  Enthusiasm.  I don't know.  He's just so much fun to hang around with."

"When he's nice to you," I point out.  I don't really want to be having this conversation.  It makes me think about scary things.  Because, in some ways, I know the answer to my question better than Kendra does.  That plain truth is that Kendra is a hard-core flirt.  And if you had to pick a trait that described me that would be the one furthest from. Therefore, I have a bit of a sick fascination with the pastime, like the way you can't help picking at a scab.  Kendra likes Sven because he flirts back at her with total abandon.  I've seen them together, like at the movie.  Plus, I've heard all Kendra's stories about when they met in eighth grade, how they spent the entire year circling each other, striking and dodging like opponents in an elaborate fencing match (not that she describes it that way) gradually stepping closer and closer until The Event at the end of the year.  Watching them makes me sick.  Sick with disgust and sick with jealousy at the exact same moment.

I'm not sure how or why Sven does it.  It could just be him being an idiot.  After all, he acts pretty much the same to me, except much less because I refuse to respond.  On the other hand, the line between obnoxious juvenile behavior and flirting seems to be very thin to non-existent: Exhibit A of why I hate it.  Or, Sven could be doing it on purpose. From our limited association, I can already tell he likes to feel important and when Kendra gets that look in her eyes it would inflate anyone's ego.   But however well he plays the "fun" (in Kendra's opinion) side of flirting, he plays the dark side of it just as well.  Whether it's unconscious or deliberate, he always seems to manage to step away at exactly the right time and in exactly the right way so that he'll be followed, and Kendra always does.  Much as she loves the fun side, this dark side is what causes her terrible pain, like what she's feeling right now.  This kind of behavior is exhibit B of why I hate flirting. 

While all this is going through my head, Kendra is babbling something about her moony song lyrics.  Then, she says something that makes me snap out of my private thoughts and pay attention.  "I think the best idea is to tell him the truth and then I'll know what he really feels about me."

"No, no, no," I say quickly.  "You would feel so horrible if he turned you down."

"I feel pretty horrible now.  Besides," she lifts her head proudly, "I'm in love."

"With a guy who has cotton candy for brains.  Kendra, listen to yourself for a second."

"Yea, and Robert is a pompous ass who will only buy clothes from Europe."

"But you're friends with him so it can't be that bad.  And don't say I'm friends with Sven too because I'm not.  He's just convenient for me."  In the end, nothing is solved, except that I feel I have even more reason to dislike Sven now.  I seriously hope Kendra won't say anything to him because he will either say no or yes and I don't like either of those options.  Yes, I don't want Kendra getting her heart broken but, much as I love her, I don't want her parading her boyfriend around while I have to watch Robert drool over Oochie, Smoochie, Poochie and Hoochie.

************

"I'm sorry," I tell Jeff as his elven ranger tries to chase a dire rat through the Swamps of Oolug.  "You just can't go that fast through the mud."

"I could have sworn the movement penalty for marsh was around thirty percent."

"Roll for initiative,' I say shortly, pointing to the dice.  Jeff looks displeased but is about to take the dice and drop the argument when Sven pulls out his copy of the rule book.

"Jeff's right," he says.  "It clearly says on page sixty-three, the penalty for walking in marsh is thirty four percent."  

I challenge him with a look that says, "I'm not a no-life like you who memorizes rules for fun."   Aloud, I say, "This is not 'marsh.'  This is deep swamp."  I'm in no mood to be trifled with.  I ran in to Oochie and Poochie having a vapid conversation at the mall earlier today.  And proud, dignified Robert, who is right now admiring one of his new Italian cuff links, prefers that kind of stupidity to someone who is in all advanced classes, like he is.  It is not fair and it makes me so mad.  But my feelings don't really matter.  Sven loves to trifle and the less you want to be trifled with, the more he loves it.  He actually grins as he says, "There's a rule about that too.  Page 108 says…"

"The DM says you need to shut up."  Linus, a gawky boy with glasses and almost white curls titters behind his hand and Robert looks superior.  Sven just grins even more, then launches into a long monologue of D&D jargon, supposedly the explanation of the rule on 108 but I suspect that he's making a lot of it up just to be annoying.  This is too much, and I do the thing Kendra told me not to do:  I slap him.  Well, okay, not exactly slap.  I pick up my copy of the rule book with both hands and whack him hard in the shoulder with it.  But this is Sven's element.  Too fast for me to react, he reaches out and grabs my right wrist with his right hand and twists it off the book.  His other arm is across my shoulder, holding me away, while he bends my right arm down across his body.  

No guy has ever made free with my body like this before.  Actually, I'm almost seventeen and no guy has ever actually touched me beyond accidental jostling in a crowd.  The effect is instantaneous and electric.  I'm not pissed anymore.  I'm fighting for my life.  He has dared to lay hands on me, and he will pay for it.  I will get free now, if I have to claw him to the bone to do it.  And once I am free…then I will punish him.  But Robert interferes before I can do anything.  Probably a good thing since his blood would have completely ruined the carpet.  

"Sven, cut it out," says Robert severely, as if he's disciplining a little boy.

Sven responds in kind.  "She hit me first," he whines, refusing to release his hold.

"Yea, well, you antagonized her."  Robert stands up and forcibly bends Sven's fingers off of my arms, and in the process, accidentally brushes against my skin.  His fingers are cool and hard, almost like stone.  He is magnificently calm.  Nothing phases him.  

The same cannot be said of myself.  As soon as my hands are free, I stagger back to my chair, my heart racing like mad.  I can feel my face burning, I’m so angry.  I'm in a killing mood.  I've never felt so violated in my life.  And Kendra would welcome this disrespect?  On top of everything else,  he's gotten me so upset that I didn't even get to enjoy the brief contact with Robert.  

"Now, sit down and keep quiet," Robert says to Sven.  "How do you expect to get anything done when you argue with her every few seconds?"  Sven subsides but still looks pleased with himself.  Jeff, Mike, and Linus say nothing, but they exchange looks and it's obvious that they side with Sven, not with me and Robert.

Eventually, despite the "deep swamp" movement penalty, they catch up to the giant rat and kill it.  Then, they go on in search of the mysterious golden idol in the legendary ruined and booby-trapped temple.  Yea, I was watching Indiana Jones last night.  How could you tell?  When they finally reach the temple, they can't figure out how to open the doors.

"Of course we don't have anyone who can climb walls," says Jeff sourly, glaring at Mike, as if this was his fault. Mike defends his decision to play a second fighter by pointing out that the wizard should be able to levitate.  "Yea, in three more levels," says Jeff sarcastically.  

"Why do we want to get up on the roof anyway?" asks Mike defensively.  

"Because maybe there's a hole, or some loose tiles we can pry up," says Robert, like it’s a brilliant idea that only he is clever enough to have thought up.  "Besides, we might pass some windows or holes on the way up."

“Well, whatever you do, don't forget about the giant 'what' that's waiting inside.”

This conversation does not interest Sven.  Probably because it greatly exceeds his mental ability, I reflect, fingering my sore wrist vengefully.  Suddenly, he puts his legs apart, looks down at his crotch and yells, "Bobby, Tommy, what are you doing?"  In shock, I take too large a swallow of my pop and start gagging.  Probably not because of the pop.

"No, what are you doing?" asks Mike suspiciously.  

"I'm talking to Bobby and Tommy.  You know, my trained rats which I keep in my belt pouch?"

While I'm fuming over this, Robert--he really is a genius--decides to send Sven's rats up to look for a way in.  I briefly consider making the rats have an "accident" up on the roof so Sven can't do anything else funny with them.  But I love animals, even imaginary ones, and don't have the heart to punish them just because their owner is a crude lump.

--end—

Copyright: Amanda Hamlin

Not to be used by A.I. without permission of the author.

Cover art by Eric Hamlin

To view his portfolio, go to: https://www.instagram.com/hamlin.eric/

Not to be used by A.I. without permission of the artist.

If you liked this story, please click SUPPORT and/or make a donation through the support function of stck.me or TAPAS

____

Also read “Deliverance from the Eye” a short story by Amanda Hamlin, free at https://amandahamlin.stck.me

“Ravenlord,” a short story from the point of view of a woman should be read by all men, is also available at https://amandahamlin.stck.me

The first two chapters of “I, PENELOPE” are now open for free on stick.me and TAPAS

(https://tapas.io/series/I--PENELOPE).

And on WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/1395125995-i-penelope-chapter-1-dungeon-master

Also, go to: All That is Gold at URL:     http://allthatisgoldwriting.blogspot.com/p/httpsdrive.html

For non-fiction by this author go to URL:  https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Amanda-Hamlin

Keywords: DungeonsDragons, HighSchool, Kiss, Flirt, Swamp, Rats, Jealousy, Slap, Touch

12/10/23