I back up slowly like he might pounce on me and rip me to pieces. "Millie I'm sorry," he starts to follow me back towards the door. "Millie wait, I'm sorry."

"I'm going to go home, I'll see you later." With that, I turn and rush out the door. Thankfully the door leads to an empty alleyway along the back of the building. I go into a nearby coffee shop and lock myself in a bathroom stall. Tears are flowing down my face and my arm is throbbing.

Finally, the tears stop and I wash my face in the sink. Chacking my phone I have missed calls from Teo, his mom, and many texts from both. One reads 'I'm sorry, I just got mad at something the reporter said.' I won't reply until I'm not on the verge of another breakdown and sitting in my bed.

I take the bus home using the money in my phone case. I always knew that would come in handy someday. My parents aren't home from work yet, thank goodness. They always question me when I get home. Like, where were you? Who were you with? Are you done with all of your schoolwork? I'm going to check your grades, if they aren't good you are grounded. You know, the usual.

I take off my shoes, and jacket, and grab my orange cat, Simba, from the living room. We go up the stairs to my bed and I tuck in, he comes around to my front to snuggle under my chin. We both fall asleep within minutes.

Matteo

I call my ma as soon as I leave, "Ma I screwed up,  I hurt Millie and now she won't talk to me."

A sigh comes through the phone, "What did you do?"

"I got mad at the other guy for commenting Millie and then a reporter asking about her threw me over the edge. Oh, ma I was so mad. I grabbed her roughly on the arm. And she had to yell at me to get me to stop dragging her. What should I do? How do I make this better?"

"You hurt her. You deal with the consequences. But give her some space. Then talk it out and explain to her what happened. If she doesn't want you, it's your fault." But I already texted her.

"Okay, I'll give her space then talk to her before school."

"Don't mess up or you will lose her." I'm am so sorry my bambina.

The drive home was the worst, I ended up going past Millie's house. No cars were in the driveway and the lights weren't on. I hope she is okay. I fucked up so badly.

Millie

My parents ended up going to visit my aunt for the weekend so I'll be home alone. I woke up around 10, with Simba still cuddled up next to me. Maybe I don't need Teo when I have Simba to keep me company.

I turned my phone off last night and I intend to keep it off until later tonight.

The red hand print is starting to bruise so I'll be wearing long sleeves at school and practice tomorrow.

I feed Simba and go out to water the plants in my little garden nestled under the big oak tree in my backyard. The oak tree has been here since before the house was built. When I was five my dad decided to build a treehouse and a swing. The treehouse fell apart but the swing is still intact and safe enough. After I put the hose away I ran in to grab a book and settled on a blanket under the tree.

One of Simba's girlfriends comes over to lay by my side. I named her Mary Kitty. She is the sweetest thing ever. Sometimes she'll bring me a mouse or a part of the bird she caught.

Simba has many girlfriends, I've counted five. He likes to meow at them through the window. I built a little mesh enclosure attached to the window so he could talk to them but he couldn't escape. It's just a little box that attaches to the windowsill. it has a wood floor with a cushion and screens that go all around it to keep him from getting out. When he wants to see a girl cat he meows until I open the window just enough so he can get in the box.

I've also built a little house using the old wood from the treehouse. I put blankets and food out in the winter for the homeless kitties.

I can hear Simba yelling from inside the house, so I get up to grab his leash. It's weird, I know, but I don't want him to run away. "Simba, here kitty. I need to get you on a leash." He meows and runs over to me. Slipping his harness on and a leash, I open the door. He sprints out! I'm glad I got the 20-foot leash instead of the 10-footer. He would have ripped my arm off.

He greets his other girlfriends before going over to snuggle with Mary Kitty. They are the cutest cat-couple I've ever seen. I'm jealous of my cat. Gosh.

after sitting outside for a while I bring Mary Kitty and Simba inside. I took them both to the vet to get shots and dewormer so they should be fine. I also open the little window so they have some fresh air. I need to run today. It is my last year running with this team and these girls so I need to be in top shape for this last season. I get dressed, grab my shoes and water bottle, and head out the door. Usually, I run with my phone but I'm just using my watch today.

I run just about and my body is in rough shape. It makes sense though, as the last meal I had was yesterday. But I need to cut a few pounds so I can look like the other girls. Some days my arms are too big, my legs too small, or a little fat around my midsection. I don't want that, I want to have toned legs, the right arms, and a skinny body. Why is it so hard? All of the other girls look good but I don't.

At 5 '2 and a quarter, my goal weight is 105, I'm at 110 right now so I will need to get 5 pounds off by Friday. I have my goals set so now I need to come up with a plan to reach that goal. Drink fluids, run or workout every day, watch calorie intake, and be mindful of what foods I'm eating for each meal.

my final plan is to drink water and have smoothies for breakfast, water and salad for lunch, a protein bar before practice, and a light dinner. With running every day this should work. I am finally able to focus on myself instead of Teo.

I am fully independent now, he can't drive me anywhere, and I don't want him to. Since my car is still in the shop I'll have to ride my bike to school. It's not far, and with a few shortcuts, I'll be at school in 20 minutes.

-SK