I don’t understand the bird part. Or what exactly am I here for. Or anything for that matter.

I guess if I’m going to find out, I’d have to get some rest. History lesson… Mana. Abductions. Saint Rubaine. Birds.

…

I still don’t get it.

I sink down into the mattress face first. Breathing in the strange familiarity of the bed. Suddenly being aware that this bed is sentient in some way. Suddenly being aware that everything in here is sentient in some way. I feel eyes on me.

I don’t like it.

I sleep the uncomfortable feeling off. My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to surrender into dreamland. But menacing chirps mocked every fleeting thought.

“May a bird not chirp in your slumber.” I feel like I get what they're saying. They’re fucking annoying. Who the hell can sleep in these conditions?

As quick as everything comes to pass, I hope I have more clarity by tomorrow.

.

.

.

“Don’t touch him! DON’T TOUCH ME!” Mama screams, holding out the knife and swinging it at everyone that comes near. I can’t make out her face but I know she feels warm. She held me so tightly I could barely breathe.

The people try to disarm her but she just screeches and cries.

Mama’s upset again. I want her to feel better.

“Mama…”

Doctors and nurses. They all look upset like mama. Especially the blonde doctor who has been trying his hardest to get to my mother and get me to safety. 

“Touch my son or we’re both dying tonight! I swear to you, I’ll kill both of us. I’ll kill us. I’m telling you!”

“....” I can’t hear Mama’s name. Mama has a pretty name. The doctor tries to call her. Mama doesn’t like it. “We won’t hurt him. I swear it. On my name.”

“Liar! You fucking liar! Get away from me. GET AWAY!” Mama hugs me tighter. Her grip on the hilt turned her knuckles white. Her chest raised and dropped so quickly, I felt her tenderness on my face. I can hear mama’s heart. It’s loud. It’s fast. It wants to go.

But Mama and I can’t go yet. They said she is unwell. Mama is sick! I hope mama gets better soon.

I don’t understand why she kept fighting them. The doctors were going to help her. That’s what doctors do. I don’t want to be away from Mama. But she’s scary right now. Mama was always scary but funny. But now she’s just scary. I don’t like this mama.

We’re alone. Mama’s face is blurry. Her head looks weird. I can’t tell if she has hair.

“Mama…” a small voice came out. My eyes shot from each corner of the white room. A singular bed a few feet away from us and a knife by mama’s side.

“Mama will fix it. She’ll fix everything. And we’ll be together. We’ll be together with papa. Yes? Yes, my baby?” Her voice dripped with an eerie desperation, her palms were damp from sweat.

Mama’s scary today.

“Where’s papa?” Papa’s dead already right? He was shot.

“We’ll find him. Mama will find him. Or maybe he’ll find our boy first, yeah? When you find papa or when papa finds you, you will be a good boy. But until then you need to sleep. Sleep for a long, long while. And when you wake up, we can all be together. Forever.”

Forever?

I don’t understand mama. She lifted me up and gently set me down on the bed. The next thing I see was Mama killing me.

Papa said killing is bad. 

Is mama bad now?

Her face has features this time. But her eyes are still gone…, tears cascaded down her cheeks from where they were supposed to be placed. Her lips quivered and her face stained red.

“Mama… that hurts.” Confusion burns my eyes, her image gets blurrier.

“Endure it. Endure it so you can see Papa, huh? That’s a good boy. That’s a wonderful boy.”

I don’t want to endure it. It hurts.

“Mama… stop please?”

“I can’t. I can’t baby. You have to see papa and when you see papa, papa will get me. And we’ll be together. Like a family.”

I never got to see papa. I never got to see mama.

We weren’t together anymore.

Then there was Aunt Amettie.

Missing a leg, half deaf and practically blind. She fetched me from a park. She looked unsure of what to do with me. I asked for mama. I know I did. But mama was in the hospital. Papa was dead. Her parents were gone too, and so were her friends.

There’s nobody out there.

There’s no bodies out there.

Everything just disappears.

And it was just us… since then.

War is ugly.