I kissed Gabe....

My whole life I've been what I considered a pragmatist, a realist or as others would call me, moody and emo.

I'm not an unhappy person. I actually find joy in several things, shifting, stalking through the woods and climbing trees, skating......

Gabe.

He's very much my opposite, bright, joyous, optimistic, friendly, kind. He's so.... happy.

We met in pee-wee hockey, and I couldn't stand him at first. I was a snot-nosed little eleven-year-old and we wouldn't have become friends if Gabe wasn't who he is.

We balance each other. He brings joy into my life, and I help calm his more hyperactive tendencies. I am frequently the one to control his ramblings.

I never planned to kiss Gabe.

Because I'm pragmatic.

And Gabe is, well, he's Gabe.

Sure, I've been secretly in love with him since I was 15 but he never seemed to look at me any different, so why risk losing my best friend over unrequited feelings.

See, pragmatic.

The point I have failed to make is I was freaking out because I was kissing my best friend, who I've been in love with for 2 years and I don't know what to do.

"Hey, lover boys, get a room or something, yeah?"

Oh, I forgot, said kiss happened in front of my other friends.

Slowly I separated from Gabe and leaned into whisper in his ear.

"Let's go for a run."

I took his hand and pulled him to the side of the house, away from our friends so we could shift in relative privacy.

Gabe, never the shy one, quickly started pulling off his shirt, flashing me a view of his abs before I turned around.

As much as I wanted to watch, I didn't need any physical reactions at that moment.

It's hard enough having to see him shirtless as often as I do but now that I know how soft his lips are...

I shook my head as I pulled off my clothes, trying to banish thoughts of golden skin and firm muscles from my mind, shifting is hard enough when I'm calm.

It was easier after we shifted, his golden retriever was well groomed, excited, and already running in circles around me. My panther is large, sleek and very powerful. I follow Gabe out from the side of the building and nod at our friends before taking off in a slow trot down the road. 

"So, you and Gabe last night."

I roll my eyes and finish pulling on my shirt. Leave it to Nuka to bring this up in the locker room post hockey game.

"What about last night?"

"Oh, come on man, you're seriously going to stand there and act like nothing happened last night? Did you at least talk to him?"

I barely hear him, I'm too busy watching Gabe. Gabe who is talking to that fuck-wad Joesph Martin. Joesph Martin who I'm sure is trying to sleep with all the athletes in the school. He's already humped his way through both the girls and guys soccer teams plus all the figure skaters. Now he's trying to get his slutty little hands on Gabe. Sweet, kind Gabe who would think that Joesph wanted something more than just a one-night stand. 

"Archer!" Nuka's voice startles me out of my thoughts. 

"What?" 

"Calm down before you shift and turn Martin into a panther treat." 

Damn it, he's right but honestly if it kept that asshat away from Gabe, it'd be worth it.  

"Oh, for the..." Nuka, got right into my line of vision, cutting of my intense glaring at Joesph Martin and grabbed me by the arm, dragging me out of the locker room. "Stop, you're being creepy. Let me take a guess about what happened, after you kissed Gabe last night, you freaked out, didn't say anything to him, just shifted and went for a run. Now, you are in a worse spot than you were before because you actually know what it's like to kiss him." 

It's not fair that Nuka is so emotionally intelligent, but his mom has a lot to do with it, I guess. I envy that sometimes. He has a close relationship with his parents, I don't even know mine. I was left my great-grandmother right after I was born. She did what she could to raise me, but she is an old lone panther. She likes her solitude and I learned how to take care of myself very early on and now I make sure to take care of the house as well. She sleeps a lot and is mostly blind, so I take care of her as much of I can. 

No one knows about what my life is like at home, I don't want their pity and I was never allowed to have anyone over to our house when I was younger. Great-grandmother is a very traditional panther, she likes to be alone, and she doesn't like other people in her territory. I get a pass because I'm family and basically her own cub. 

"I don't know what to say Nuka. What if he doesn't feel the same? I can't lose my best friend because I can't keep my lips to myself." 

"Have a little faith Archer and maybe, just maybe, trust the guy who can see when people are attracted to someone that you don't need to worry about Gabe not returning your feelings. Now please.... please for the love of the Goddess, go deal with this so that I don't have to hide Joesph Martin's body." 

Ok...ok... I take a second to compose myself before going back into the locker room.

Gabe looks at me as soon as I walk back in and smiles his beautiful smile at me and I just know that I needed to kiss him again.

It only takes me three steps to get in front of him and I don't even stop to think through my actions before I bury my hands in his hair and kiss Gabe as passionately as I can. It all feels right, I don't know if Gabe is my Mate for sure but I doubt anything could be better than what I'm experiencing right now.

His kissing me back... oh Goddess, he's kissing me back. Maybe, just maybe hoping Gabe wants me as much as I want him is the realistic thing to think.