Monday morning dawned with mixed feelings. Gen was nervous about the math test, even though he and Mika had gone over the material and done some more practice problems after dinner. He was also nervous about having his first conversation with someone else other than Mika, something Mika was optimistic would go well, despite Gen’s misgivings.
They were all feeling the strain of having to let Mika return home. It was like sending someone into the viper’s pit hoping the viper wouldn’t strike. The drive to school was quiet with that thought hanging over their heads. They were walking to class when Mika broke the tension, showing Gen an article on his phone about an anime they both liked. They both relaxed as they talked, the worry fading from their minds, if only for a little while.
They walked into the English Lit class and to their separate seats. As though they were in grade school, Professor Redkin had given them assigned seating at the start of the semester. Gen had been lucky to get the seat in the back where he preferred to be. Only one other person sat in the back but there was a desk between them. Mika was closer to the front, surrounded on either side by other students. He glanced back at Gen and gave a small smile and a wave. Gen smiled back and Mika’s attention was taken by a girl with red hair who was asking him something about the reading.
Kelly, sitting kiddy-corner from Gen at the side of the room did not miss that exchange and cast a questioning glance between the two of them. She would have to ask Mika about it later at the break.
As the class got going, Gen took out his notebook and hunched over his desk, and as he did every day, became invisible, paying attention to the lecture and taking notes. Only this day was different. For the first time, he was called on.
“Mr. Parker, we haven’t heard from you, yet.”
Every head in the class turned in his direction. He sat there, frozen, his heart beginning to pound. What the hell?
“Why don’t you share your quote next.”
They had been doing short essays on Shakespearan quotes and what that quote meant for them. It was an exercise in literature interpretation that forced them to actually pay attention to what they were reading. This wasn’t a problem for Gen, of course. The problem he had was he never expected to ever have to share his thoughts out loud. He could feel his mouth go dry, the words trapped in his throat.
“Um, I..uh..uh…” he stammered. He felt every eye on him, watching and waiting for him to say something remotely intelligent. So far, he wasn’t impressing anyone with his English skills.
Someone softly cleared their throat. Gen’s eyes fell on Mika who was grinning softly, offering encouragement with the words he mouthed: You can do it.
Gen cleared his throat and tried again. “Um, okay so…” the tone of his voice was so low they strained to hear him. He raised it just a bit so they didn’t have to. He looked down at his notebook and said, “Th-the quote I pi-picked was from Sh-Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night…”
“Always a good choice,” Redkin said with his own encouraging nod.
“Yeah, um…” he mumbled and shifted in his seat. His hands shook as he reached for his assignment. He glanced again at Mika who gave a small nod. “It’s um, ‘O time, thou must untangle this, not I. It is too hard a knot for me to untie.’”
“And why did you pick that particular quote?”
Gen did his best not to look around at all the staring, quizzical faces. He shut his eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. God, just move on! He opened his eyes and, keeping them down, said with his voice again quiet and low, “Because…” he cleared his throat. “Because it’s a reminder to be patient when things aren’t going the way I want them to. Things will become clearer and work out when they’re meant to. Rushing it can only make the situation worse.” He clenched his fists under his desk, trying to get them to stop shaking. He didn’t look up, nervously toying with his lip rings, wishing everyone would stop looking at him.
“Everything works out in the end,” Redkin said. “Exactly, well put, Mr. Parker. Okay, we’ll pick this up with Mr. Fuller after the break. See you all in fifteen.”
Everyone began shuffling around, most of them heading outside. Gen’s head slammed down on to the desk, his whole body feeling a hundred pounds heavier. Mika rushed over and knelt beside him.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Gen shook his head without lifting it. “That fucking sucked. I must have looked like a moron.”
“No, you did fine,” Mika said, putting a hand on Gen’s back, rubbing little circles between his shoulder blades. “You did better than Ashley, that’s for sure,” he said conspiratorially.
Gen grinned. “True. It sounded like she found some regurgitated meme off social media or something.”
Mika snorted softly and stood up. “Want to go outside?”
“Yes, please.” Gen stood and took Mika’s hand. He held them between Mika’s back and his own stomach as he walked close behind Mika. He was sure the class was talking about him now, but he really didn’t care…he just wanted to get out of that room as fast as he could.
Once outside, they walked over to a bench that encircled a tree and sat down. Gen pulled out his phone and opened the music app. Mika pulled out his earbuds and handed one to Gen, putting the other in his ear. Gen was plugging the cord into the base of the phone and pushing play when a shadow fell over them.
They both looked to see Kelly, arms crossed, frowning. “Hey, Mika,” she said.
“Hey, Kel,” he said brightly. “Did you have a good weekend?” He said to Gen, “No, that one,” pointing to a different playlist. “That one has that new song from LiSA.”
“Do you remember the name? I can just look it up that way.”
“Uhhhh, I think it was–”
“It was okay,” Kelly said. “Me and Seth went to the lake.”
“Oh cool, did you have fun?” Mika turned his attention back to Kelly.
She shrugged. “It was alright,” she said. “Cold, though. We took the boat out.”
They continued chatting casually, Gen sitting silently. There was nothing he could contribute to the conversation, anyway, and the vibe Kelly was giving off made him uncomfortable. This girl really does not like me.
Finally, she waved a finger between the two of them. “So, what’s this about?”
Gen and Mika exchanged a look then looked back at her. “We’re going out,” Mika said.
Kelly just stared, face blank, eyes unblinking. Her entire body was rigid, as though she had turned to stone right in front of them.
Gen said under his breath, “I think you broke her.”
Mika nodded. “I think so.”
Kelly finally snapped to and grabbed Mika’s hand. “I need to talk to you.” She yanked him up, the earbud jerked from his ear.
“Hey, wait a second!” Mika protested. Gen stood to stop them but Kelly was too fast. She pulled him around the corner until she was sure they were alone.
“What the hell are you thinking?” she hissed.
“What?” Mika demanded, pissed that she would do that. “He’s a good guy, what’s your problem?”
“He’s a freak!” She pointed in the direction they had just come from. “He doesn’t talk all semester long, and when he does, he can barely string two words together without stammering. On top of that, look at how he dresses! It’s like he wants people to be afraid of him. How well do you even know this guy?”
“A hell of a lot better than you do,” Mika snapped, his voice sounded loud in his own ears after her whispering. “You know nothing about him, no one does. He hasn’t talked all semester because he doesn’t talk to anyone ever! You don’t know what he’s been through, you don’t know why he’s shut down, you don’t know a damn thing, Kelly.”
She stood there, staring at him. Before she could respond, he continued.
“I have never, in my entire life, felt as safe around anyone as I do with him. I can actually be myself with him, which is more than I can say for you and Seth.”
Kelly flinched. “That’s not fair, Mika,” she frowned, pulling back,
“Is it? You went to the lake with him, one week after he shoved you down the fucking stairs. What if he had pushed you in the water, made you drown?”
She averted her gaze, her cheeks flushing.
“Gen’s big and strong and intimidating, I know that. But he’s not that way with me. He’s gentle and kind, funny and intelligent. I can tell him anything and he actually listens. He would never, in any lifetime, hurt me.”
“Does he know–”
“Yes.”
Her eyes widened with surprise.
“He knows everything.”
She hesitated before asking, “And he still wants to be with you?” It wasn’t a snide comment to be nasty. It was genuine. In her experience, guys didn’t want to be with abuse victims…damaged goods is what she’d been called more than once. By her current boyfriend, no less.
Mika nodded. “Surprised me, too, honestly.” His voice was soft, quiet. “He’s amazing.”
Kelly’s eyes searched her friend’s face, watched how his lips curled up slightly, how his cheeks flushed, how his whole body was relaxed. Normally he was tense, hiding within his hoodie. He seemed somewhat more visible somehow, even with his oversized hoodie and long hair hanging over his shoulders. Was this Gen’s doing?
She relaxed her shoulders and sighed. “Okay,” she said.
“Okay?”
“Okay. If you say he’s that good to you, then I believe you. But if he lays one finger on you–”
Mika smiled. “Trust me, he won’t. His dad’s a cop so he knows better.” He walked around the corner and back to where Gen waited, leaning up against the building, phone in hand, earbud in his left ear. He noticed Mika in his peripheral and stood up straight.
“Wait, his dad is a cop?” Kelly was saying as she followed close behind. Her eyes bugged and she nearly fell on her face as she saw Gen smile as Mika approached him.
This guy…tall, built with wide shoulders but still slim, a long black and red mohawk, dark eyes, piercings, a rounded nose, full lips, and lightly tanned skin, looking every bit like someone who could rip someone in half with his bare hands…this guy went from imitating and scary, to handsome and pleasant with one look and a smile when he saw her friend. Maybe Mika was right…maybe she did have him all wrong.
Gen looked up at her and his face shifted. He wasn’t pissed to see her…he looked nervous. Oh my god, is he really that shy?
She approached him, hands on hips. “Okay, here’s the deal, big guy. I could give you the standard old threat, or I could just ask a favor. Which one would you prefer.”
“The favor, I guess…” he said. She was amazed at how soft and low his voice was.
“In that case…” she stepped closer to him, noticing his hand going to Mika’s sleeve. “Please be good to him.”
That was unexpected. He really did think she was going to threaten him.
“Yeah,” he said. “Of course.”
The rest of the students began to file back into the classroom, the break over. As the three of them joined them, Mika said, “Kelly, I need to ask you something after class, if that’s cool. It’s a favor of my own.”
“Sure,” she said.
They separated to their own seats, and prepared for the rest of the class. Gen was relieved that not one single person looked his way.
-*-
Comments (0)
See all