“How dare you come here! How dare you force your way into my office! Get out!” his scream filled her ears as she stood there fifteen hundred miles away from home.
“I’m sorry.” my meek high school voice escaped my mouth.
“Get out, you wretch!” my father yelled, his hands slamming against his desk, as he stood from his chair.
“Father, I-” my voice was cut off, by his loud, angry one. My eyes met his stern glare, and they began to water as his words were ringing in my ears.
“I don’t have a daughter like you. Get out. I never want to see you again.”
Tears streamed down my face. I just wanted to be appreciated, could I not get that much. Now he wasn’t even accepting me as his daughter. I wanted someone to lean on, someone I could go crying to when things went south, but that person that should have been there to comfort me was throwing me away. He had been for ten years already, why should my time wasted traveling all the way across the country matter to him. I had run out. I had escaped, I didn’t want anyone anymore, it was obvious that this is what would be made clear to them when they found out who I was. I am a failure. An awful failure of a daughter, why should I not be a failure of a friend? A spouse? A mother?
“Are you okay?”
Those words broke her out of her melancholy state, and she turned her attention towards the person who was speaking. His large hazel eyes met her own, as he bent down slightly to look into her downcast face. His hair was messy, the baseball cap long gone from its place on his head.
“Are you okay?” the words repeated in her head as she stared at him, he was waiting for a response, practically begging for one, but she didn’t know what to say. Had someone asked her that earlier, her answer would be ‘yes, I’m good.’ But now? Now as she stared into the eyes of someone she barely even knew, where the answer should be obvious, she was at a loss for words. Had it been Levy, she would have told her she was fine. But for a stranger, someone that didn’t have any right knowing how she was feeling, to ask her and leave her stunned for words like this was overwhelming. The answer should have been easier to say then to someone she knew, ‘I’m fine’ was on the tip of her tongue, but her mind appeared to refuse saying it.
Those three simple words were words she’d wanted to hear her whole life. Wanted someone to genuinely come up to her and ask her if she was fine. Those words never came. Not from her caretakers, not from her high school so-called friends, not from her colleagues in college, none. No one had asked her if she was okay. Asked her if she needed anything, and here he was. A boy. Not only a stranger, but a boy. The look in his eyes didn’t look like he wanted to get into her pants, in fact his hands rested in his pockets, and the cat wasn’t with him. With as much love he had for his cat, the blue feline should have been there, but he was alone.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” she let her voice speak, half-hoping he’d go away, yet also wanting him to pressure her to make sure she was right.
“I’ve heard that a dozen times already.” he stated, standing up straight, “I wasn’t asking if you were ‘fine’ I was asking if you were okay.” his eyes were waiting for a response.
“Yeah,” Sua repeated, wrapping one arm around her front to grasp at her other, “I’m okay.”
The pink haired man sighed, and sat down on the bench beside her, under the roof of the bus stop, “I’m okay, too.” he stated, staring up at the sky.
It was strange to her. He was strange to her, unlike anyone else she had ever known, and yet… she still didn’t want to get to know him. If she were to get to know him, then he’d have to get to know her. No one who really got to know her was able to stay being her friend. After all, she was just a breaking disappointment. It had been engraved in her mind since she was younger. Nothing she’d do would ever be able to make it, no one would accept her for who she was, so she didn’t want to risk getting to know him. He could be putting on a show, an act, just to make him seem trustworthy, but he wasn’t. He never was trustworthy, or at least, that’s what she was trying to tell herself so that she wouldn’t get closer to him. Wouldn’t actually get to know him.
“Hey,” he broke their silence, “You wanna hang out with me again?”
She snapped her head over to look at him. He was still staring up into the sky, his eyes glistening under the sun’s setting rays. They almost glowed. His hair was the perfect color for the sunset, the warm tones seemed to make his pink locks more vibrant. This time of day was meant for him. He was made for this time of day. He was beautiful, just like this. He had so much ahead of him, so much that he had to get done, yet also so much he had already gotten done. Already made it through the day, the setting sun proving how far they had gotten. And she… She hadn’t done anything yet. She was like the night beside him. His perfect glow next to her worrisome shade. Sure, she had golden locks, and fair skin, but that was like the moon. The one bright thing in all of the darkness of the night. And here he was asking to hang out again. Asking her to hang out with him, again. The sun and the moon don’t mix.
“Look,” she began, earning his gaze. It disappointed her to not see his eyes like they had been, but she couldn’t complain, “Seonwoo, I can’t hang out with you.”
“Why?” His question was too quick. As if he had been expecting it, she mused.
“It’s just, I’m just me,” she looked at him, “and you’re…”
He frowned, “A crazy cat person?”
She stared at him, shocked, “What, no. You’re just so…” she sighed, and looked back down at her hands as she played with her fingers, “vibrant.”
“Vibrant?” he asked, after a pause, “I’m vibrant?” Why did it feel like he was mocking her?
“Yes. You’re glowing.”
“That’s a strange thing to say to a stranger.” he sighed, “but then again, buying me and Bunny food isn’t some easy task, either, so…” he giggled.
She brought her eyes up to meet his smile, “Am I that strange?” she asked, knowing the answer was yes. Knowing she was strange, and disappointing. It was easy for her to do.
“Yeah…”
I knew it
“…but it’s a good thing, you know?” he continued.
“A… good… thing?” Sua repeated.
His eyes widened as they took in her shocked expression. She could tell he didn’t expect her to say that, and she debated denying it, before he spoke up, “Sua, you should join us.”
Her eyes widened by his statement, too shocked by the other one to say anything, so she just stared at his lips as he talked. The words not reaching her ears, she couldn’t even make out the words he was saying, just the way his smile widened with each thing he said. In her peripheral vision, she could see his arms and hands moving, and his eyes widening and brows raising, but the way he was just so happy wanted her to have a chance like that.
“Join you?” she finally asked, bringing her eyes up to meet his.
He blinked, as if he just realized she wasn’t listening. “Yeah, join us. You said you wanted to be a writer, right?”
“Yeah, are you a publisher?” she asked.
He laughed, “Hell no!”
“So why would I join you?”
“Well,” he began, with a smile, “I’m not a publisher, and none of my friends in MV Entertainment is, but…” his smile got larger as his eyes squinted, “they’re very supportive!”
“Is MV Entertainment a sponsor for you?” she asked.
“Sponsor?” he repeated, before he nodded vigorously, “Yeah! Something like that!”
“So you think they’ll sponsor me, then?”
“Yeah, Grandpa would love to!” he chuckled, swinging an arm over the back of the bench to engage in a better conversation with her.
“Your grandpa?” she mumbled, before shaking her head quickly, before he caught what she said, “I don’t think I’d be a good fit.”
“Come on, Sua! Just give it a try!” he smiled widely, “I’ll take ya there!”
“I have to go write.” she mumbled, loud enough for him to comprehend.
He shoved his hand in his pocket, and pulled out a card, “Here’s my number, call me if you're interested again!”
She lightly took the card from him, expecting him to get up, but he stayed, and smiled at her, “Thanks.” she stated, and slipped the card into her bag without looking at it. “Do you just give your number out to any girl?” He was a player wasn’t he? She was right, she shouldn’t have trusted those goofy motives.
“No.” His answer was so direct, it made her shatter her impression of him, “You’re just so nice!”
“Thanks…” Sua sighed, and dropped her head, ‘Nice?’
“Sua, what’s wrong? Are you scared?” The man with dark brown hair across the table asked me, “You seem a little down.”
“Ah, no, I’m fine.” I replied, hastily, thinking it probably brought more attention to myself.
“It’s not like I insulted you,” he stated, “I know what will cheer you up, baby.”
A smirk played across his lips, and I feigned a smile, “No, I told you, I’m fine.” God forbid letting him know about my weaknesses, because if he did, anything that I still held dear in my high school life would be shattered.
“Is it the test we have tomorrow?” he asked, standing from his boothe, and making his way over to mine.
“Yeah,” I lied, and he knew it, “I guess I just didn’t study enough.”
“Come on, a nice smart girl like you, is bound to pass.” he smiled as he slid himself into the seat beside me, placing one hand on my bare thigh just above my knee.
“Please don’t touch me!” Sua screamed out, pulling herself away from the shocked man beside her.
Seonwoo’s eyes blinked before he scooted further from her on the bench. He wasn’t touching her, he wasn’t planning on it. Sua could tell. While one hand had been hanging limp over the back of the bench, the other was resting in his own lap, with no intention of moving. His eyes didn’t even claim to have the intention of touching her based on the shocked reaction, and the hurt expression stained on his face.
“Sorry,” his voice came out meek, shy, even. So much different than what voice he had used before, his boisterous, outgoing, loud voice.
“No, I should be the one who-” she was cut off by him turning away from her.
“I got a little too excited,” he sighed, “I should be getting back to Bunny.” He began to rise from the bench.
“Wait!” she exclaimed, louder than she had anticipated. Memories of being left along poured into her mind. Sure, he was different, but that didn’t mean he was that different, right? “Don’t go.” she mumbled, a whisper under her breath, not even loud enough for her own ears to hear, she thought she might have thought it.
“What?” he asked, turning his attention to her, as he stuffed his hands into his pockets in preparation to walk away.
“Nothing.” Sua sighed, dropping her head again as the bus pulled up to the stop, and Seonwoo walked away. Not even saying goodbye.
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