Ronnie had never been so fucking uncomfortable in her life. 

That included waking up at ten years old with pieces of the outer planes in her bedroom. It included getting thrown out on the streets by her parents at eleven and being asked for a blow job by Hairy Joe during her first night at the homeless camp. 

It also included signing a covenant contract with a fucking dragon.

But yeah, standing outside the Cash American Pawn shop across the road from Muckleshoot Casino in this fucking ridiculous get up, waiting for her grekelhind ‘date’ to emerge so she could spy on a leprechaun? 

Topped the list, no question. 

Ronnie couldn’t believe it when Earnest directed her to this pawn shop for them to ‘get presentable.’ Yet they’d marched right in, and after a brief conversation with the pawnbroker in a language she didn’t understand, and ushered them into separate back rooms. 

Go with it, he’d said. Part of her wanted to throw a shitload of runes around and just fucking kill them both, to get it over with already.

The pawn shop’s basement had been a series of stained glass rooms, and she knew as soon as she’d stepped into one that she’d been half-phased to another plane. It was an obscenely gorgeous one at that, all gilded ivory ferns, glittering gem-inlaid flower petals and flowing satin rivers.

The telleefee who greeted her at least spoke passable English, and he also seemed to understand her boundaries: minimal skin showing, no heels, no touching her hair, and nothing permanent. After a brief conversation, he started throwing magic around. Ronnie refused to look in a mirror until he was done.

She’d barely looked at herself besides a sideways glance and mumbled thanks, and nearly ran back out to her car. Earnest, however, was nowhere to be found — she couldn’t believe that he was taking longer than she had to get ready.

Her dress had ended up as a classic black number that hugged every curve like as if painted on. It covered everything she wanted; twenty years in Vent’s service left scars all over her body. There was an overlay that made it shimmer colors when she moved. Her shoes were elegant gladiator sandals that laced up her legs, also in black. Her hair — normally in a braid — was now swept up in a classy updo. The blue and purple colors in her hair had turned almost reflective. The planar had skipped makeup in favor of an elaborate facial glamour that accentuated her eyes and turned her irises into slits.

Finally Earnest emerged from the pawnshop, a small smile playing across his features as he adjusted his cufflinks.

It was a good thing he was looking down because Ronnie’s mouth dropped open.

The grekelhind was gorgeous in what was no doubt a custom tailored tuxedo. His bow tie matched her dress, and his dark brown hair was now straightened and fell down his back; it was almost as long as hers. As he came closer, she could see the metal of his cufflinks was clearly of planar origin — expensive on Earth. The cut of his tuxedo revealed a classically handsome physique. He moved with a natural grace that made Ronnie think he wouldn’t be out of place in a room of old European monarchs.

She shut her mouth with a sharp click and hoped he didn’t notice.

When he looked up, his eyes flicked yellow. Ronnie’s eyes caught the fabric of her dress and his tie shimmering in the same shade.

“Well, Rainmaker... I must say, you look… sufficient.”

Ronnie did her best to form words, but she was having more than a little trouble on that front. What the hell happened to the greasy guy in the tacky Hawaiian shirt? Where did all this come from?

Finally, her tongue worked its way out of its cement prison and she swallowed. “Yellow,” she croaked, gesturing to his tie and then her dress. “Why?”

Watching her dress flicker a rich shade of emerald for a moment, Earnest took a deep breath, allowing a rainbow hue to dance over her dress. “What, this?” he said nonchalantly, pointing to their clothes. “You’re my date, remember? Figured we had to sell this thing. You’re supposed to be connected to me, and since you’re human, we had to work something out.” 

“Oh,” Ronnie said quietly, unsure of where to look or put her hands. “That… makes sense, I guess.” Then she looked down, knowing that her flame-red cheeks were betraying her. “You definitely cleaned up well,” she mumbled, staring at her feet. “Thought you were broke.”

“Different realm, different bank accounts,” he replied casually, tugging his jacket sleeves down over the glistening metal cufflinks. “So, you ever use the aether before?” 

Not trusting herself to speak, Ronnie just shook her head. “Never needed to,” she answered slowly. “Car works just fine.” 

Earnest looked over at the car in the pawn shop parking lot and grimaced- as if on cue, the hubcap fell off, rolling harmlessly into the nearby grass. “Yeah, I’m gonna say that we might want to leave that here.” Stepping forward, he reached out for Ronnie’s hand- when she jerked back, he cupped her cheek with his other hand, bending down to whisper in her ear. “Date, remember? I hate to break it to you, but I’m gonna have to play the part tonight, so please relax. Don’t wanna get thrown out, remember?” 

“Date… right,” Ronnie replied, forcing herself to relax. She was shit at undercover work, shit at being on dates, and her nerves were jangling. She knew she sounded stupid, so she just closed her eyes and exhaled. “So, traveling,” she said, feeling the warmth of his hand in hers. “What exactly do I have to do?”

“Just maintain contact.” She perked a brow, and he flashed a devilish grin, his words oozing with unspoken innuendo. “Touch me.” 

Ronnie swallowed, fingers reaching forward with a slight shake, before she cursed under her breath and grabbed his lapel. “Good enough?” 

His grin shifted into a lopsided smirk. “It’ll do. Also heard holding your breath helps as a passenger.” He reached up and covered her hand with his. The heat of it almost made her gasp.

Before she could muster a reply, the aether shivered across her skin and then they were moving. Not floating, not running. Her feet certainly weren’t moving at all, but the dress whipped around her legs. Earnest’s hand tightened on hers, his other coming to rest at the small of her back. The earth move under their feet, and she felt a harder shove of aether — tasted it, smelled it, like sky and clouds, with the faintest hint of brimstone — before they vaulted over the fucking road, and about ten seconds later were standing at the casino’s front doors.

Vertigo slammed her as soon as they stopped, the air rushing from her lungs in a gasp, Earnest’s body flush against herself. Thank fuck she hadn’t gotten conned into wearing heels, or she would have fallen right on her damn ass. 

A tiny part of her brain whispered, Earnest would have caught you. Which reminded her body he did catch her, or rather kept her upright, and that was an ongoing situation. 

“Steady,” he murmured. “Wouldn’t want my date to look drunk so early in the evening, now would we?” 

The comment shot steel through her spine, and Ronnie stood taller on sheer fucking principle. Earnest’s laugh tickled over her skin when she tried to move away, keeping her close. He whispered in her ear. “Better. Key part this is a date, remember? My honor I won’t do anything offensive, but I need my hands on you for this to work. And you probably should smile.”

Then Earnest waved at someone, towing her along with him. “Able! Good to see you!” 

“Well, well, well,” said an extremely large centaur standing at the doorway, his horse half a silken ebony that matched his human hair, his skin tarnished bronze. The creature looked absurd, done up like he’d walked out of the Roman era, complete with a Spartan helmet, phalanx and spear. 

Must be a toga theme at the casino tonight, Ronnie thought.

“Been ages since you’ve come out this way. How’s the kid sister?” 

“Anya’s good. Working on a business degree, when she’s not driving me crazy. Able, this is my date for the night. Ronnie, Able.” 

At the word date, the centaur’s posture went almost skittish. Ronnie couldn’t really place his expression, only that he seemed suddenly uncomfortable. “Uh, alright. Nice to meet you, Ronnie. Place haven’t changed much, just mind the aether inside. Makes the natives get antsy about cheating.”

“Thanks, Able. Have a good one.” 

As they stepped through the first of the glass doors, Ronnie muttered, “The hell was that about?” 

“Just an old friend worrying for no reason.” 

“Because of the…your…” She winced; she wasn’t sure she was supposed to talk about this whole dosthy thing, given that she was dead. Whoever or whatever she’d been. 

“Yes,” Earnest said simply, “We can talk more about it later if you want, but not here. Too many eyes and ears. For now, let’s blend, drink and do some gambling while we wander. Hopefully, we’ll spot Eve easily enough.”

Ronnie just nodded and plastered a smile to her face. “And the part where a line cook at a low-rent diner is a VIP at a place like this?” she asked, low enough for only Earnest to catch.

His smile was more relaxed -- playing the part, like he said? Or something else? “A tale for another time, my dear.”

When she stiffened at the endearment, he laughed lightly. “My honor, remember?” For his part, Earnest was careful to keep his emotions in check, rainbows still dancing across the fabric on her dress and his tie. She couldn’t help but wonder which version of him was real: slob lucky enough to sweat behind a flattop griddle, or the billionaire playboy in front of her.

Hand around her waist, he guided her toward a bar at the back, past the flashy lights and incessant noise of the slot machine floor. They weren’t using aether, exactly, but Ronnie felt she was floating more than walking across the floor. More than once, Earnest waved to someone in the crowd.

Ronnie tried to relax and act like she was having a good time — or at least, not star-struck. She’d had a job or two where the mark had been well-to-do, so this wasn’t completely foreign. She could do this. “You know how to show a lady a good time,” she finally said, desperate for a safe topic.

It was a mistake, and she knew it the moment it left her lips.