In big bold and red letters, their system says… I am Ruined. A white screen that contrasted all their yellows. Nothing else written but the word; RUINED.

Their systems are visible too. All with the same warning… [!DANGER!]

Ruined? Danger?

People with that label are the bad ones right? Have I done anything wrong? I don’t think I have… They’re all scared. What are they scared of?

Is it me?

Why is it me?

Ruined?

Why am I Ruined?

Whispers cascaded through the endless crowd, all collectively stepping back from me. Eyes wide, fingers pointed. Guards are ready in stance and Princess Arianne and Edriane have drawn their swords. The Heroes have summoned their affinities, fire, water, air and ground surrounding their bodies with a fresh light.

I feel the food I shoved down my throat minutes ago come up. Bile burned my throat and out came all that I consumed, even the stain stone.

People scream and panic.

“THE CROW!”

“Doomed! Doomed are we!”

“KILL HIM!”

“OH DEAR SAINT!”

I’m not the crow.

Amidst all the screaming, Priest Dottir has begun praying, falling to her knees, tears welled up in her eyes as she called out for Saint Rubaine.

Saint Rubaine…

What’s happening?

My mind gets pulled into a space I don’t recognise but holds familiarity.

[She’s not a Saint child. She won’t answer anyone’s prayer.]

The same text, no voice but I felt the somberness. I felt the disappointment. I felt the dread.

Then what am I supposed to do?

[Stay alive.]

My head goes quiet. They’re here but they’re not. I don’t understand.

A ring tortures my ears. I watch Edriane bark for guards and a troop comes marching in. They grab me, shackle me and pin me to the ground.

I try to speak but I do not hear myself. “Wait…WAIT! I...if I am not a hero as you thought, send me back home.” I speak anyway. “Please. Let me go home.”

Edriane mouths words I could not catch. She says them too quickly.

Yet somehow, I reply, “You promised.”

She lightly stumbles from my response, her sister coming to her aid, looking angrier by the minute. She glares as if I had pushed her sister. She barks orders at the guards and I try to fight them. Every article of clothing had restricted movement.

I do not succeed.

“Edriane!” I called. Does she hear me? Did I make a sound?

I try again.

But they silence me with a muzzle. It pierced my skin and sealed my lips, digging into my cheeks. I taste the hot seeping metal at the back of my throat.

“DIE!”

“YOU MONSTER!”

“THE CROW! THE CROW HAS RETURNED!”

“HE’S HERE TO KILL US ALL!”

“KILL HIM FIRST!”

I was dragged out. The cold burned my skin. I’m naked. When did I take off my clothes? No… No. They cut it off me and burned them right in front of me.

They aren’t even holding me… Merely dragging me by my chains.

I dread the many eyes on me. The people, the portraits, the walls, the ceiling, the floors. They’re all watching me. Why are they watching me? Please stop looking at me. Their eyes hold such hatred that I have never seen. So much fear that I cannot even fathom. So much sorrow.

I was taken somewhere. I don’t know where.

My chest is thumping. What’s happening?

The hallways are getting darker. It’s getting smellier and eerier. The smooth and cold ground turned roughed and hurtful. My skin stinged, I can feel them getting cut. I can feel liquid gush from my face and my legs.

What’s happening?

It is cold, daft and sinister. The walls breathe. The walls hiss and laugh. The walls scream in terror.

“SAINT OH GREAT SAINT WE WILL ATONE!”

“NOT HIM NOT HIM NOT HIM!”

“FORGIVE US PLEASE!”

They are not walls. They are people behind bars. Scrawny, dirty, terrified people behind bars. They plead mercy to their one god, a woman who is not a god.

Bars… and people. Barricaded. I’m in a prison. What am I doing here?

They take me farther… and farther. Away from the people, away from the light, away from any signs of life. They push me into a cell, where there is only me, with the burning poke of a stick. It illuminated the darkness with a piercing orange, accompanied by a smoked scent.

Shackled to the darkness, I can’t make out anything around me. Only the light that wrapped their bodies.

I choke on my own breath, trying to speak. Opening my mouth hurts too much. Why does it hurt so much?

What’s happening?

I don’t understand.

.

.

.

I was stabbed awake. I didn’t know I was asleep. They jabbed me with the stick again. It burns. My stomach burns. I can’t see anything. I can barely hear. But someone is there. Someone is standing in front of me.

“STOP CULTIVATING STRENGTH! YOU FILTHY CROW!” I know that voice. I know it. Fern… It’s Fern. What did he say?

“Stop cultivating strength! you filthy crow!” Cultivate strength? The crow? I’m not a crow.

My mouth hurts. My chest too. I shouldn’t speak. I shouldn’t breathe too hard. It hurts too much.

“You bastard. To think I wished to be closer to you. I should’ve known. I should’ve known when you called for death.” Called for death? I never did that. “Did you find it hilarious? Making a fool out of me? Huh?!” I did not make a fool of you.

Metal clangs. “SPEAK!”

My lips parts, my lungs take a sharp breath. My mind floats from the sudden release of pressure in my body. “I… don’t know… what happened.” 

The person scoffs and slams into the partition between us. Metal. I don’t see anything. I can hear them… barely. Under their breath they mutter, “Oh by the grace of Rubaine… Give me a better story than that.”

Taryn. This is Taryn.

“DO NOT CURSE MY NAME. YOU DARE TO CONFINE ME INTO YOUR CURSES? I WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU.”

“I… do not.”

“Lies! You disgusting beast just lies.” I’m not lying.

“I… not the crow”

“Yes you are.” No I’m not.

No I’m not.

.

.

.

Taryn left and was replaced moments after. Moments? Or was it hours? My head is spinning. Bile repeatedly climbs my throat and exits as it pleases. I feel revolted by myself. Sweat, dirt and puke cover me. I’m wounded. My skin itches. So blood and scabs decorate me too.  I can’t see. It’s too dark. It’s cold. I’m naked.

“You… I cannot believe it. I was foolish to not have seen. Your appearance was telling enough and yet I let myself hope. I let myself be vulnerable with you. I trusted you. You seemed… you seemed so interested in our world but it turns out you… I cannot. I just cannot fathom the fool I was.” Their voice so shrill and hurt. They spoke between sniffling breaths and suffocating sobs. Their sorrows touch mine. I feel myself cry. “Was it all lies? Your stories of earth, childhood, your aunt? Were the tales fabricated to make us trust you? Were they truly yours or were they tales of another child you had robbed of life?!”

“No. No. They were true. They were all true.” Did I say it clearly? I hope she heard me. I know this person. I know her. Her eyes shone brightly in the dark, the only thing I can see. Bright blues of the sky. Gemmas… this world gems. Sapphires. Her eyes are like sapphires. 

“Then how could a being with such pure tales of genuine happiness be so…so corrupted?! Be Ruined! Be a beast?!” 

“I…I don’t understand what’s happening. If the world is mistaken and I am not your hero… can you please let me go home?” 

“You truly take me for an imbecile. Me? Let you go? And endanger another world?” 

“I’m not the crow. I… am not a danger to anyone. I swear I have never hurt anyone. Edriane…”

“SHUT UP! Leave me with dignity. To call me so casually as if we were of equal status? NO! I will not be levelled with a MONSTER.”

I’m not a monster.

“Please. If you hate me so much, hate what I look… Send me home!”

“No!”

“You promised! Please… you promised.”

“...And I promise you, as the Princess of Flaris and her descendant, I will return you safely….”

Her eyes flashed with recollection but it faded quickly into anger. They stared into me. Piercing daggers and hatred. Then she turned away. “Like words mean anything to you.”

“Please!”

“Princess… How shall we proceed?” a second voice spoke, male, hard, a presence I was not aware of. But somehow… I knew there were more.

“Is there any question about it? Kill him.” Princess Arianne. Heartless and cruel in tone. Her eyes are visible to me. Golden, shimmering eyes.

“Killing him immediately may trigger another… another miasma explosion.” The other spoke.

“Then weaken him.” Princess Edriane “Cut him down to bare bones if need be.”

What…?

They leave. I thought I would have a chance to breathe. To think and plead my case. To prove that I am not the crow and go home.

But no. I was gravely mistaken as I was already tried. The verdict…

Ruined.