Mika yawned as he walked to his second class of the day. One down, three to go, he groaned. It was one big drawback to being an overachiever; he was constantly giving himself more than he could handle, especially when it came to his classes. Anything to keep him out of the house, though, was worth the aggravation. Texting and talking to Gen on the phone as quietly as possibly until after midnight was worth the sleep deprivation.
When Thomas had walked in the door the night before, he said nothing to Mika. He never even looked at him, not even over dinner. The only thing he said at any point was when Mika was going to his room for the night.
Thomas was coming out of the bathroom and met him in the hall. Mika stood there, his eyes meeting Thomas’. The man stared at him, his eyes empty and hollow, just like Jo’s.
“Count your blessings,” he said quietly, “you’re not worth the prison time.” Then he walked away. Mika was both confused and relieved, especially when Thomas left for work this morning and was still silent towards him. Usually he’d tell Mika to be back right after class or to check in after each one. Today, he said nothing. Neither did Jo.
That one hurt more, his mother not acknowledging him in any way, not even when she dropped him off that morning for his first class. She never spoke a word.
Gen had told him about the conversation he and his dad had over dinner, and Mika was stunned. Was that the reason for their silence? If so, and Thomas left him alone, he would take it. It didn’t even matter what the cops had on him, or even suspected of, so long as Mika was safe.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, a text from Gen.
Morning beautiful.
Mika smiled, a blush coloring his face. Morning, handsome. Just waking up? It was almost nine.
Yeah, I slept in. Someone kept me up late ;)
Not my fault you didn’t want to hang up lol
I’m still blaming you anyway. Did you sleep okay? How were things this morning?
I didn’t sleep well at all. My bed was too big. He had a twin size. In a follow up message, he said, They’re not talking to me. Just the kids talk to me.
Gen’s response came as Mika walked into class. One of his friends waved him over, a girl named Julie.
Probably that’s the best thing they can do. A second message came quickly, My bed was too cold.
I could warm it up later, if you want.
Yes I very much want.
My next class is starting…I’ll call you after, okay? It’s a shorter one.
Okay
Julie gave him a quizzical look. “What’s got you in a good mood?” she asked. “Haven’t seen you smile like that in a long time.” They had gone to high school together and had played games online from time to time. They hadn’t played in a while, though. They were both too busy with school and she worked at her mom’s bakery nearly every day.
“Um, well, I have a boyfriend now and–”
“No way, let me see! Do you have a pic?” Julie nearly came out of her seat with excitement.
Mika pulled up his photo gallery and pulled up the pics he had taken at the zoo and the park. Julie looked at Gen’s pic and her eyes went wide.
“That’s Gen Parker,” she said.
“You know him?”
She nodded. “He works with my dad, I’ve seen him around the store. That and I have a class with him, stats, I think.”
“How’s he doing in that class?”
She gave him a look. “The dude is a fucking genius when it comes to that stuff. He doesn’t ever talk, but I’ve seen his work.” She sat back and sighed. “He’s so hot. Lucky.” She drew out the last word.
Mika chuckled as she leaned forward to look at the pictures again. “How’d you manage to bag that hottie? I’m so jealous.”
Mika gave her a brief rundown of how their relationship started and she swooned.
“So he’s good to you?”
Mika nodded. “Very good to me.”
“Guys like him always are.” In Julie’s world, the best guys were the ones you didn’t expect to be, the rough and mean looking ones. It was the ones with the cleaned up and friendly appearance that left her mistrustful. “Who does his hair?”
Mika was about to respond when the professor came in and got everyone to settle down. “I’ll tell you later,” he whispered and she nodded.
The class flew by and before they knew it, they were packing up and Mika was dialing Gen’s number before he was even out the door, Julie close on his heels.
“Hey you,” Gen said brightly. “How was class?”
“Good! I think I can find the kidney on a frog now.”
“Biology, huh? With Ginger?”
“You had her?”
“Yeah last year. She was pretty cool, just don’t talk during her lecture or she’ll give you homework from sections you’ll never even study.”
“Did that happen to you?”
“Really, Mika?” Mika laughed and Julie smiled.
“Oh, someone wants to say hi, hang on.” He put the phone on speaker. “Say hi,” he told Julie.
“Hey, Gen, it’s Julie from stats!”
“Oh, hey, Julie, what’s up?” Mika heard the nervous stammer begin but was surprised that Gen managed to control it immediately.
“Not much, congratulations! Mika’s a fine young lad.”
Gen chuckled. “Thanks. I think so, too.”
“I had a question for you that has absolutely nothing to do with stats.”
“Okay?”
“Who does your hair? I love it!”
“My sister does. She’s a stylist at Rising Ashes across town.”
“Yeah I know that place, it’s right near the mall.”
“Yeah, she’s really good.”
Mika stood there, smiling. Julie grinned back. “I gotta get going, but it was nice talking to you, Gen. Oh, and, what’s your sister's name? Maybe I can make an appointment to see her soon.”
“Kana Parker, she’s the one who does more of the funky cuts and dyes. But she can do simpler stuff if that’s what you want instead. I’ll let Mika give you her number so you can text her. As far as I know, she is accepting new clients.”
“Thanks, Gen.” To Mika she said, “I gotta run, text it to me ‘kay?”
“Aren’t you just full of surprises,” Mika said, taking the phone off speaker and placing it back to his ear as he walked on through the campus to his next class. He would eat his granola bar once he got there.
“What, because I talked to someone?” Mika heard the soft chuckle in Gen’s voice and it made his face warm slightly. He loved Gen’s chuckle, he loved all of Gen’s laughs…and sounds…
“Yeah, I kind of expected a few words but not a full conversation.”
“I can’t see her over the phone, first of all,” Gen explained. “And secondly, I already know her. She’s tried talking to me a few times at work and in class. She’s a chatty girl, too. Sweet, but…chatty. She’s also one of those early-in students, I think.”
“Early-in?” He thought he had heard the term before but wasn’t sure why.
“Yeah, she graduated high school early and started college right away.”
That’s why.
“She's really smart, that’s for sure. Has to be for the class we’re in.”
Mika clenched his fist and gently chewed his bottom lip, his mouth suddenly dry. He took a deep breath and said, “Gen–”
There was noise in the background, something falling, he thought.
“What was that?” He silently thanked the gods for the distracting noise.
“Nothing, just some boxes attempting to end my life in the garage. No big deal.” Mika heard the strain in his voice as Gen was lifting whatever it was off the floor and placing it overhead. He had to be on the bluetooth.
“Are you okay?” he gave a nervous laugh. The way Gen put things really made him laugh.
“Not sure. I’m positive it was an assassination attempt set up by my father in retaliation for the scratch I made on his truck three years ago.”
Mika laughed out loud.
“It’s not funny, Mika, the man is trying to have me killed, I’m telling you! You don’t know how much he loves that truck.” He continued to rail in this way over Mika’s laughter before finally giving in to his own.
“He’s having you clean out the garage, then?” Mika finally managed to say.
“Yeah, my side of it, anyway. Told me it’s getting too crowded in here with all my tools and weights and crap. He wants me to go through them and start getting rid of some stuff.”
“Want me to help you after school?”
“That’s okay, I’ll be done by then. Plus I’ll be sweaty and nasty, you won’t want to be around me,” he laughed.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Mika said, flirtatiously. “Maybe it’s a turn on to see you all greased up and smelling like the farm.”
Something shifted and almost fell, extracting a few colorful words from Gen. “First of all,” he said, “I’ll be smelling like oil, grease, and sweat. Secondly, you’d better not be trying to conspire with my dad to kill me.”
“I can’t help it if you get flustered everytime I say something that might get you hot,” Mika laughed.
“See? Right there! Just dropped a damn hammer on my knee.” He heard something get set down hard on a table, probably the hammer.
“Don’t worry, I’ll kiss it and make it all better.”
“You’d better be doing a lot more than that,” Gen grumbled.
Mika was silent for a second, wondering if it was okay to even broach this topic right now. He still had a few minutes before class, so he figured he’d just take a chance. Lowering his voice so he wouldn’t be overheard, he said, “What if I did?”
Gen paused. “Did…what?”
“You know…” Mika was suddenly extremely nervous and shy. Gen was his boyfriend, it shouldn’t be that hard to talk about what he liked or wanted.
Another pause. “Are you suggesting…oral?”
“I mean, if you’re not okay with it, we don’t have to, we can wait, I just…” he spoke quickly, trying to cover his own awkwardness. He sighed. “Never mind,” he ended lamely, putting his hand over his face.
“I’m not saying no, Mika. I’m just wondering if that’s something you want to do. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to just to make me happy. I told you, there’s no need to rush anything.”
“I know,” Mika said, running his hand through his hair, holding onto a small bit and twirling it around his finger. “And yes, I do want to. There’s a lot I want to do with you. Everything, in fact.” He could feel his face get hot. “And if you’re worried about…all that…don’t be. It was a long time ago, you’re not him, and you’re not dangerous. I’m comfortable and safe with you and I’m willing to do anything. I mean, if last night wasn’t clear enough, I don’t know what would be.”
The memory of what they had done in the truck, the feeling of Gen against him, the way they had rocked together, all of it, brought that same pull back into his lower stomach that he felt everytime he thought about being with Gen.
Gen was quiet for a minute. Mika could hear him breathing, heard his feet shuffle in the dirt on the garage floor.
“It’s not a secret that I want you, Mika,” he finally said quietly. “But you should know that…I’m a virgin…”
“I know,” Mika said. “That’s fine with me.”
“I don’t know thing one about how to make a man happy in that way. My only reference is sex ed class and porn, and I’m sure none of it actually depicts the reality of the experience. To add to that, you’re a virgin, too. I want our first time to be special, and I know that’s corny to say. I want it to mean more than just a dry fuck in a truck, out of lust and desperation. You know what I mean?”
Mika had been stunned into silence. You’re a virgin, too. But…was he? After all Thomas had done, could he honestly say that about himself? Gen seemed to believe it…
“Mika?”
“You think I’m a virgin?” he asked quietly.
“You are,” Gen said, as if that was obvious. “You were a child, Mika. You had no clue what was happening, only that it was wrong. You didn’t want it, it wasn’t something you could consent to. It was abuse, violence, hate. There was nothing kind and good about it. Maybe it’s just me being a bit old fashioned, but sex is something that should be shared between both parties, not stolen by one and feared by the other. I should think there’d be some mutual attraction or genuine feeling put into it, right? It should be something we enjoy because we care about each other that much.”
Mika smiled into the phone, feeling more reassured about himself than he had in a long while. He had heard and read stories from victims and their families about how their virginity was stolen from them the moment their attacker raped them. They felt sullied and used, that because they weren’t virgins anymore, no one would ever want them.
No one is going to want you now, you little slut.
Well, Thomas, you’re wrong, Mika thought. Gen wants me.
“Still there?” Gen’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“Mhm,” Mika said. “Just wondering what I did to deserve you.”
“You looked at me,” Gen said, softly.
“You’re right,” Mika said, “About all of it. I want you, too. I really do. But you’re right that we need to wait for the right time. I can’t keep letting my hormones get the better of me.”
“Trust me, I feel the same way,” Gen chuckled.
Mika noticed how students that had been milling around were now making their way to their individual classes. “Looks like class is about to start,” he said.
“Just one more after this one, right?”
“Yeah, then I’m done.”
“Want me to pick you up?”
“I need to check in with my mom first then I’ll let you know. There shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Alright. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later…” Mika hung up and sighed. He hadn’t expected to have such a serious talk, but he was glad he did. He got up and headed into class, eager to get this day over and done so he could be with Gen again.
-*-
Comments (0)
See all