Jem’s POV

I was exhausted, my side hurt from the fresh stitches, the bruises on my face and ribs throbbed in tune with my heartbeat, and the pain behind my eyes was quickly turning into a migraine. My eyes lazily watched Patrick move to stand up from the couch as I let out a sigh. My legs swing over the edge of the desk before settling down in my chair and logging into the laptop that I’ve neglected for the past week. 

“So that’s it?” Patrick asked as he stared at me with a less than impressed look in his eyes. One hand was propped lazily on the door handle while the other played with the hem of his shirt. “You just agree to try and work things out with Andrew and instead of going out there to make things up to him you plan on hiding in your office?”

“I’m tired,” I said, looking intently at the computer.

“Then you should sleep.”

“I’m behind on work. Don’t know if you remember but I’ve been gone for a week and Dev is useless when it comes to this so I have to play catch up.”

“When’s the last time you slept through the night?”

“That’s hardly fair, how well did you sleep when you were last kidnapped.”

“You said you left on your own free will,” Patrick said with a cock of his eyebrow. I forced myself to keep a calm face as I attempt to work through the multiple lies I’ve spun in the past few hours. 

“I did. I’m being dramatic Patrick, I know it’s been a while but surely you remember how much I lived for the drama.”

He takes his hand off the door handle as he put every ounce of attention in his body onto me. 

“What happened after you left?”

“I met a druggy trying to show the wonders of a new drug, your cops ruined everything, I got stabbed, I came home, end of story.”

“Then where’d you get the bruises?”

“I ran into a few things when I was dying of blood loss.”

“Why come to the apartment when you were dying of blood loss? You could have done it after you were stable or had Dev come and tell us after you told him.”

“You needed to know,” I said carelessly as I turn my attention to him and close the laptop. 

“It was 9:00 at night,” he pointed out. “What could I have done with that information at that time? What was so important that you broke into our apartment at 9PM, dying of blood loss, after being missing for a week, before you even called Dev or Barrett of all people? And why does it take a week to get that information?”

“I already told you, people have been skeptical to trust me after the cop rumor, I had to gain their trust.”

“So the first thing you did was go to a cop’s house.”

“I think the blood on your carpet would confirm that. I’m sorry when did this turn into an interrogation?”

“The second you started lying to me about what’s going on.”

“I don’t remember not lying being in our list of rules.”

“I thought it was a given. And if it wasn’t I want that added right now. Don’t fucking lie to me.”

For a minute I did nothing but stare at him. He looked good, his skin was tan now; it fit him better than the pale skin he had the last time I saw him. No bags under his eyes, he gained the weight back that he’d lost after the kidnapping, he stood up taller now too, the confidence pouring off him. 

And those eyes. Those god damn brown eyes. At one point they stared up at me like I was god amongst men, stronger than all others around me. Nothing but admiration in those brown eyes. 

Those were not the eyes looking back at me now. These eyes were full of rage and mistrust. They glared at me like I was nothing but gum on the bottom of his shoe. I hated seeing that look in his eyes. 

A sigh left my lips as I broke my contact with him and let my eyes fall onto the desk. 

“Don’t tell Dev,” I said as I let a hand drag through my hair. 

“If you’re not willing to tell Dev it must be pretty serious,” he said as he tensed and walked away from the door. 

“I don’t need him blowing this out of proportion or trying to keep me out of it. It’s easier for me to do my job when Dev doesn’t try and get in the way.”

“I don’t think keeping you from dying is really considered as getting in the way but I won’t tell him. But if Andrew starts connecting the dots somehow I won’t lie to him. That’s not something I’m comfortable with. I’ll tell him to keep it from Dev but I’m not lying to my boyfriend.”

“I’m okay with that,” I sighed as I stood up from the chair and motioned to the couch for him to sit while I lean on the edge of the desk.

“So a week ago I got a call, it was late probably around 2 in the morning. It was on the business phone so even though I didn’t know the number I answered figuring it was giving to some cartel by one of the ones we already worked with. I was right, they wanted to see if I was interested in selling Kerp. I asked basic questions, what does it do, how are we marketing it, how much per kilo, any bad side affects. When I asked that the guy got defensive. Saying it was fine, no side affects, perfectly safe and not very addictive. 

“I wasn’t stupid enough to believe it. He started getting pissed and threatening up a storm but I didn’t care until he started bring Dev into it. He said I’d regret not taking him up on the offer and said he’d kill Dev. I called his bluff, Dev is safe and can take care of himself, nothing is going to happen to Dev and most people can’t find him even if they did want him dead. Then my personal phone buzzed. It was a screen shot from the same unknown number showing they had a location on Dev’s personal phone. The phone that has firewall after firewall on it, the phone that I check every three days to make sure there’s no tracker attached to it, the phone that has a VPN on it and doesn’t even work if he doesn’t have the VPN activated and yet they knew exactly where he was and was threatening to kill him. I had a reverse search done in a few minutes, the fucker wasn’t even smart enough to try and hide his location. I grabbed my keys and set off to find that fucker. 

“When I got there it was a warehouse, huge and nearly abandon. My gun was out and I just stormed the damn place. I know, dumb, but I was tired and not thinking right and living on nothing but rage and nicotine at that point so I said fuck it.

“All I see is about three lights on in the whole warehouse and about seven people changed to the walls, looking completely drugged out of their minds, needles still sticking out of all their arms, and looking like they haven’t left that spot in days. Then I see this one guy in the back, almost completely out of the light. He’s talking to himself, gibberish mostly and then he’s screaming. I just stand there listening, seeing how long he can keep it up, he screams for about an hour before he finally stops and instead of sound coming out his mouth, there’s blood. Soon he’s choking on it, seconds later he’s slumping against the wall dead.”

“The drug made him scream himself to death?”

“I assume it has to also has some blood thinning quality or maybe he was on a thinner before he took the drug and the screaming caused a cut and the blood couldn’t clot and he was too out of it to think about saving himself. He didn’t even try to fight against the restraints. A few seconds later a heard someone shuffling by the door. A man was standing there, a proud smile, a knife in his hand. I blinked and he was on me, my gun knocked out of my hand and the knife to my throat. I fought as hard as I could considering the knife but it wasn’t enough. I cuffed to the wall in seconds. 

He didn’t drug me thank god but he did tell me all about it. At least he told me what he wanted me to know. All the good stuff and when I asked about the guy who just died he waved it off, ‘he had underlying conditions, he was homeless before this, a person of good health would never react this way.’ I told him I wasn’t interested in buying and he got pissed and just left. The guy would come back to check on them everyday, make them eat, give them a new dose, ask me if I had changed my mind, and when I said no he left. I was held there for 6 more days, each day someone else there died. They’d scream, fight things that weren’t there, beg for another dose, threaten to kill me when I said I didn’t have any to give them. Then randomly one of them would snap. It had to be the doses he was giving them but all of them died, one screamed, another scratched her throat until she hit an artery and bled out, one pulled out his eyes, one went in his sleep, one looked like he was having a heart attack, one refused food for two days saying all she wanted was more drugs, and the last one banging himself against the wall until his skull was bashed in. 

“The day the last one died he asked again if I wanted try the drug, when I told him no he got mad. Started punching me, kicked me, he went to pull the knife again but I had been working at my cuffs for a week straight so I was able to pull the bolts out of the wall. We fought, I got stabbed, I stabbed him back, I’m sure he made it out alive but I didn’t have time to finish the job. I got out of there, picked the lock on the cuffs, stole a car and made it as far as I could before I ran out of gas. Went on foot the rest of the way to your apartment.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you came to the apartment. Your house is closer and you needed medical attention. I could have waited to hear about the drug.”

I sighed as I rubbed the stitches in my side. I was hoping he’d forget that. 

“He threatened to kill you. After I stabbed him and started picking the lock he started screaming. He’d kill Dev, then the cop, then the therapist. I knew Dev would be fine so I needed to make sure he didn’t have anyone tailing you. I know I shouldn’t have, you already said you didn’t want to be apart of this anymore but I couldn’t help it. I had to make sure he hadn’t gotten you yet.”

“So we’re dragged into your shit again,” Patrick asked, heat in his voice but a tired expression on his face. 

“It seems Mateo told a few people about our arrangement. When I catch this guy in a few days I’ll track down every rat bastard he told and the guys they told, and the guys they told, until there’s no one else who would know and everything goes back to normal.”

“So you just kill upwards of dozens of people until no one else is alive to say anything?”

“That’s the plan yes. Mateo isn’t happening again. I won’t allow it.”

I could see the internal battle going in his eyes, the cop part of him wanting to tell me it was wrong but the tortured part of him not wanting it to happen again won out. 

“So what are you going to do about the drug?”

“I’ve told my men that we’re staying away from it. If any of them use it or sell it they are being considered traitors. It won’t be a problem in my sectors. If I were you I’d focus on the north side. Those privileged college kids would love an easy high with supposedly no side affects.” He nods but he doesn’t seem to care about the words coming out of my mouth. 

“And what are we going to tell Andrew? He deserves to know.”

“I’ll tell him but he has to promise to keep it from Dev to. The last thing he needs is to go bat shit right now. I can handle this as long as I know that Dev is where he’s supposed to be which as now is in this house.”

“You’re putting him on house arrest?”

“In secret yes. I won’t be giving him assignments which will mean he’ll stay in the house. House arrest without him even knowing.”

“He’s going to know something’s up when you stop giving him work and have to do double the amount to pick up his slack.”

“Which is why I’m taking a break.”

His eyes snapped up from the floor, those damn brown eyes full of shock, the admiration was back but not in full force… yet, I could still win him back with a little bit of time. 

“I was just stabbed, I’m scared to go outside, I can do all my work from here, I need Dev here for protection, and at night when he’s asleep I’ll go do what I planned to do.”

“He’ll never buy that.”

“I think Dev will buy what I tell him to buy. He’s been wanting me to take a break for years. He’ll be so happy I’m actually doing what he’s saying he won’t be thinking about me possibly lying to him.”

“And you’ll come up with this whole elaborate ruse to keep Dev inside and safe before you admit you love him?”

“I don’t love Devon,” I spat as I got off the desk and began walking to the door. The important conversation was done now, I had no reason to be tucked away back here now that my side hurt and I had Andrew waiting outside. I could always do more work when they left in a few minutes. 

“So what was that whole scene in the hospital wing then?” Patrick asked as he blocked my way to the door.

“What scene?” 

“The lovey dovey scene you two had. Holding hands, calling each other babe, him calling you James. You flinch every time you hear that name yet you asked him to call you that. If you love him that’s fine. You already know he feels the same and Andrew won’t care as long as you tell him before you two start dating. Why bother hurting yourself and Dev for not admitting it?”

“Look,” I said with a sigh, my hand reaching past him to grab the handle again. “We tried, it didn’t work, it’s over now. He’s my best friend and that’s it. I’d rather not see my best friend’s head bashed against the ground with his throat split open by a psycho drug addict with a knife kink.”

I don’t bother letting him come up with a response as I opened the door and stepped around Patrick to see Andrew waiting patiently on the couch. 

His eyes bright, such a contrast from the dark conversation Patrick and I had been having just seconds ago. 

His light is welcome as I sit on the couch next to him.

Last updated December 23, 2023