Raven’s birthday was on the eleventh of November. How did I know this?

Well, when I woke up in Raven’s bed on the day after our second date, I happened to see the calendar on the wall. Out of curiosity, I checked to see any special dates that were coming up.

I blushed when I saw two dates circled by a cirlce of hearts with the small words “First date with Lily” and “Second date with Lily” written on them in Raven’s handwriting. With fucking hearts.

But then, after that, was another date. It had the word “B-day” scribbled on it, along with a rough and deep cross that told me that Raven didn’t like her birthday.

My hand gently brushed against the rough black gashes in the paper, and I felt tears well up in my eyes. It was like I could feel her anger bleeding out of the paper, and it hurt me so bad.

So I spent the next week or so trying to find the perfect gift for Raven. She wouldn’t like anything that I usually enjoyed, but I knew that she would love anything that was given from my heart. Anything that was sincere.

And then, when I was out grocery shopping with Diane, Isaac, and Isaac’s boyfriend, I saw the perfect gift.

“Wait, wait, wait!” I exclaimed loudly as I stopped us in the middle of the aisle and dived into the limited edition of women’s clothing.

“What are you looking for?” I heard Diane ask from behind me as she and the other two stopped the cart to come after me.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Isaac asked as he left his boyfriend to man the shopping cart.

“So, uh, you see,” I said, wondering how to explain my thoughts to them as I pawed through a rack of clothes. “I’m dating someone, right? And, uh…”

I paused as I realized I was about to come out to them. Was I ready? Were they ready? I mean, I knew that no one was homophobic, which would have been my initial worry, but would they… accept me, I guess?

“They’re a girl,” Diane finished, and I whipped around to stare at her.

“You knew?” I asked her, and she shrugged.

“Wait, you have a girlfriend?” Isaac asked as he looked between us.

“N-not really,” I said. “We’re just dating right now.” Then I turned to Diane and asked, “How long have you known?”

She shrugged again. “I pieced it together the last time you went on a date. When you came back in a pair of black leggings I hadn’t seen before, along with a new shirt, which I’ve also never seen before.”

“But how’d you know I didn’t buy them?” I asked her, because I was fucking confused.

“The way you kept smelling them,” Diane said mischievously, and I blushed. Beside us, Isaac laughed, and so did the rest of us. “But Lily,” Diane asked at last, “why didn’t you tell us?”

I shrugged, blushing. “I was scared?” I said.

“Scared of what?” Isaac asked, frowning. “You both know I’m trans and gay as shit.”

“W-well,” I said, “I guess I was scared that once I said it, it would be real. And who knows, people are weird. I didn’t know how you would react, and that scared me, too.”

“Oh, Lily,” Diane said as she reached out and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. “I love you,” she told me as Isaac joined us in a group hug.

After a moment, I pulled away. “Okay, okay, I love you guys too, but right now, I need to find a gift for her.”

I turned back to the rack of clothes as they laughed. After barely a second, I found what I was looking for.

“Oh my fucking gosh,” I whispered to myself. “It’s perfect!”

I pulled it from the rack to show the other two, laughing as their eyebrows rose. I turned it back towards myself.

It was a black cropped crew neck with the embroidered words “Keep your shit together” on the front in big silver cursive letters.

It really was perfect. And what was even better was that it was the last one left and the perfect size.

Unfortunately, my wonderful mood was broken later that day by a phone call from my mother.

“Lily!” came her voice from the speaker on my phone as I sat at the dinner table with my roommates and Nathan. “How’ve you been?”

“Hi, Mom,” I greeted, looking at Diane curiously. She just shrugged, so I turned my focus back to my mother on the phone. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much,” she said over the phone in a way that told me that there was something up with her. And sure enough, “I heard that your sister has a boyfriend.”

I sighed, rolling my eyes as I slumped on my elbow on the table. “Yeah. I know,” I told her exasperatedly.

“Don’t give me that tone, young lady,” she snapped over the phone, and I rolled my eyes again.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I said as genuinely as I could. “What’s wrong with Diane having a boyfriend?”

Everyone at the table snapped their heads over to me to look at me curiously. I just waved them away as my mother responded.

“Nothing!” she replied as I rubbed the bridge of my nose as she continued with, “But where’s your boyfriend?”

I sighed again. “I don’t have a boyfriend,” I told my mom. “Do I need a boyfriend?”

“No, no, of course not!” my mom said over the phone and I had the urge to slam my forehead onto the table. “So would you like to come over this weekend?”

“Is there any particular reason that you want me over all of a sudden?” I asked, my eyes narrowing suspiciously, thankful that she couldn’t see me.

“What, so I can’t just ask for my daughter to visit me?” she replied huffily. “Is it wrong to want to see my daughter?”

“No, Mom,” I told her, running my hand through my hair as I leaned back in my chair. “There’s nothing wrong with that. So when should I come?”

“Are you free on Saturday?” my mother asked, and I ran through my schedule in my head.

“Uhm, no, I can’t,” I told her. “I have a fully booked day of patients then.”

“Then how about Monday?” she asked.

“No, I can’t do Monday,” I replied almost instantly.

Silence on the line, and fear started to flood my blood. Was that too fast of a response? Would she take it to be rude? Was she going to scream at me over the phone again? Holy fuck…

“Well why not?” she asked stubbornly.

“I-it’s a f-friend’s birthday, and I promised to go to their birthday party,” I said. Shit, I was a terrible liar. 

“What friend?” my mom asked. “Are they more important than your own family?”

“Well, uh,” I said, stalling for a moment before I said, “she doesn't have anyone else to celebrate with.”

The entire table set down their utensils as they gaped at me, but I shushed them and waved vigorously for them to be quiet. I couldn’t take it, so I just stood up and walked away from the table and into my room, closing the door behind me.

“Doesn’t she have her family to celebrate with? Or other friends?” she asked me rather rudely, and I scowled.

“She doesn’t talk to her family anymore and she doesn’t have any other available friends,” I told her with a sigh.

“What, did her parents disown her like that friend of yours?” she asked inconsiderately. “You know, I never liked that Isaac girl. She’s not even a real boy. I can’t believe you’re even friends with that girl, she’s so weird.”

“Mom,” I said, stopping her in the middle of her diatribe. “Isaac is a boy, and it is incredibly disrespectful for you to keep referring to him as a ‘she’.”

“Alright, alright,” she said dismissively, and I grit my teeth to prevent myself from saying something I would regret. “Just bring your friend with you.”

“Mom, I-” I tried to object, but I heard her clear her throat from the other side of the phone. I gave a sigh. “Alright, fine.”

“Thank you, sweetie!” was her enthusiastic reply.

Then we exchanged goodbyes and I hung up. Great. Now I had to visit my parents on Raven’s birthday.

…

It was Monday, the eleventh of November. Raven’s birthday. And somehow, I knew that she was going to ask if I could come over to her place, but I would offer for her to come over to my shared apartment.

And, just as expected, a phone call came early in the morning while I was getting ready.

“Good morning, Rae,” I greeted her. “What’s up?”

“Hi, Lils,” I heard her reply. I frowned at the sound of her voice. She sounded like she had just woken up from a restless night of rest, even though she had Sundays off from work. She really must hate her birthday. “Can you come over today?”

“Actually,” I said, trying to sound as bright as possible, hoping that my happiness would spread to her, “why don’t you come over to my place? My roommates are out on dates with their boyfriends.”

“Really?” she asked, her voice sounding a bit more awake than before.

“Yeah, sure!” I said as I turned the speaker on and set down my phone so that I could dress. “Come over. I live in the apartment complex two blocks away from Glass Glory. The pale blue building, third floor.”

“Alright,” she said, and it was like I could hear the sad smile in her voice over the phone. “I’ll be there in ten or so minutes.”

“Okay, see you soon!” I said, smiling as I pulled on a dress over my head.

It was exactly ten minutes when I got a text from Raven.

I’m on the third floor. Which apartment is you?

I smiled to myself as I jumped up and ran to the door. I quickly pulled it open and rushed outside, completely forgetting my shoes. Raven was lingering beside the elevators, looking at her phone with a frown on her face.

“Raven!” I called out, and her head snapped up.

“Hey,” she said as she put her phone back in her pocket and walked over towards me. Her arms spread out as she neared me and she embraced me in a tight hug. “I missed you,” she said into my head.

“I missed you, too,” I whispered back, into her shoulder. But after a moment, when I realized that Raven had no intention of letting go, I carefully pushed her away. “Come on,” I told him, pulling her towards my apartment, “mine is number 333.”

She followed me silently as I opened the unlocked door and let her pass me so that I could lock it behind us.

When I turned back around to face Raven, I almost laughed at how awkward she looked. But I didn’t because I wanted her to be comfortable here. Especially with all the things that I knew were going to be coming today.

“Want a tour?” I offered to her as I drew closer.

“Sure,” she said with a small shrug.

She held her hand out for me and I gently took it before leasing her down the hallway of bedrooms and bathrooms.

“So this is Isaac’s room,” I said as I brought her to the room closest to the hallway entrance. “He only sleeps here half the time for… y’know, reasons,” I said, giving Raven that look.

She laughed at this, and it seemed to help relax her. I was glad.

“Anyway, the next room is Diane’s room,” I told her, gesturing to the door in the middle of the hallway. “We all have our own bathrooms connected to our rooms, too, by the way.”

She just nodded quietly, her eyes examining the door like it held the subtitles of the words I was saying. Like she wasn’t paying attention. For some reason, I felt like she wasn’t.

“And this last room is my room,” I said as I placed my hand on the door knob and turned.

I stood to the side to let her enter first before following behind her.

My room was clean, as it always was. My laundry was all either in the hamper (if it was dirty) or folded or hung (if it was clean). My bed was in the center of the room, pressed up against the wall opposite the entrance door and the bathroom door, which was right beside it. My closet made up the far right wall. Opposite that was my desk, which was also organized.

I had several shelves attached to my desk to act as my bookshelf, though the only books on that bookshelf were textbooks. All the rest were files and folders and various other paperwork items for my work.

On top of my desk, I had my laptop, my small mug that I used to hold my pens and pencils, and the open file I had been finishing up before Raven came. That was where I went first, to close the file so that I didn’t accidentally break the law by allowing Raven to see inside.

I closed it and put it right back where it was supposed to be between the files (in alphabetical order of course).

And I realized that my favorite color was blue. Almost everything was blue. Blue bed sheets and blankets and pillows. Pale blue walls so pale I might’ve thought they were white. Even the plastic cover that was protecting my computer was a bright blue.

I chuckled to myself, earning a curious glance from Raven, but I just smiled at her. I walked over to my bed and sat down, motioning for her to look around as she pleased.

She cautiously wandered around, poking her head past the open door to my personal bathroom and scanning my clothes through the open door of the closet I had forgotten to close, until she seemed to have decided that she had seen everything she needed to. I watched as she silently joined me on my bed.

“Your room is very…” she said, trailing off. I just waited for her to think whatever it was that she needed to think, and eventually, she said, “…you.”

I cocked my head to the side to look curiously at her. “It’s very… me?” I asked.

She nodded slowly. “I can tell that this is your room. It feels like yours.”

I glanced around the room once, and when she said it that way, I could understand what she meant. It did feel like me.

“Huh,” I said as I turned my gaze back to her. “I guess it does look like me here.”

She laughed at this, and I smiled to see her laughing. She seemed quite relaxed, now, judging by the fact that she leaned back to flop onto my bed. I joined her, and she turned her head to look at me.

“My mom demanded that I come visit her today,” I said glumly. “I tried to get out of it, but she guilt-tripped me into coming.”

Her eyes softened as she frowned. “I’m sorry about your mom,” she said almost sadly, and I rolled over a bit to completely face her.

“Will you come with me?” I asked her. “Please?”

She laughed at this, her expression brightening again at this request. “Sure, why not?” she replied.

I was now officially wondering when to give her her gift. I knew she might not take it well, at least I was expecting her not to take it well, so should I get it done sooner rather than later? She’d probably be pissed at me either way, so I better just get it out of the way.

“Raven,” I said, and her soft smile wilted as her eyes narrowed at my tone.

“Yeah?” she asked cautiously. “Is something up?” she asked, and it almost felt like I could read her thoughts.

It can’t be about my birthday, right? seemed to be written all over her face.

“I know that you don’t like this, but Happy Birthday,” I told her as I ran a hand down her face.

Her expression darkened. It was about my birthday, her face said.

I sat up and went over to my desk and pulled a small paper bag out from behind the drawers. Inside was the cropped crew neck, along with a handwritten note I had rewritten at least a hundred times.

But when I turned around with the bag, I saw that she was sitting at the edge of the bed, her knees bent while her feet flat on the floor.

I realized then that she had taken off her shoes when she first came in the front door. She really was observant.

But before I could take a step closer, she bitterly asked, “If you knew I hated my birthday, why’d you get me a gift?”

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I just-”

“You know what?” she interrupted, standing up and walking over to me. “It doesn’t matter.” She took her gift from my hands and brushed past me. “Let’s just go.”