It's funny how a simple meeting with Ms.2000 makes the flames less voracious, the near searing of my flesh is hardly a thought on my mind. The pungent smell of poisonous clouds still clogs my nose, yet, I can still breathe cleaner air than I ever have. It's as if life is carrying me away to a new land that goes beyond this physical realm. A heavy storm was over my existence, and now the clouds have parted, and everything's right in the world. The Sun shines brightly, kissing my face, giving me purpose, giving me a way out of the darkness. It's been a few days since I've seen her and in these seven days, the only pain I have experienced is not seeing her face again. With each passing moment I can only be whisked away by the thought that I will be in her presence. However, bills are to be paid, and it's the hope of her love that allows me to continue. I plan on going back to her whenever I can get the chance, which is most likely tomorrow.

After work I head home and I get to the doorstep. I buzz Frank. No answer. This has happened every day since the beginning of me living here. No matter how much I try to tell him that he isn't bound by his straitjacket, he refuses to see the truth. You could lift and move his hands around for him and he'd still not believe you. I tap my foot and grit my teeth. “FRANK!” My shout echoes throughout Numena. I slowly turn behind me to see the same man I always do when this happens. You'd think it was some sort of cosmic joke that he always shows up in moments like these. He stares at me, blinking slowly. I condescendingly smile and wave at him as Frank lets me in. 

I walk into our house and yet again, Frank sits on his bed, watching TV. It's starting to drive me up the wall a little. I respect him and whatever he is obviously going through but to do the same thing every day is egregious. I shut the door and sit on the edge of my bed. “Whatcha watching?” I ask. “The Reincarnation of The Man Who Killed the World's Worst Killer Who Also Got Reincarnated.” Right. I take my coat off and throw it in the corner. I lay on the bed and stare at the popcorn-like ceiling. It usually looks like an angry face, the pattern I mean. There's one giant kernel that usually looks like an eye, but I can't see the face today. 

We watch some of the movie and after it ends, Frank shuts off the TV. He sees me inspecting the box to Till Death Do Us Part. In truth, I haven’t been able to put it down. I keep inspecting the box, imagining Ms.2000 and I on the cover, imagining that the story from the movie was actually ours. I even bought the soda and peanuts already, I just have to take it all and go see her again. Frank scoffs. “I can't believe you're serious about going down there again.” I ignore his comment. “It's just, I don't like who you're becoming with this girl, Ingus.” I turn my head slightly and look at him through my peripheral vision. “Don't you see yourself man? Looking at that dumb movie every day after work.” Fine, I'll bite. I sit up and face him. “Five seconds ago you were this depressed loser who stinks like garbage and now you're suddenly happy? Need I remind you just a few days ago, all you did was stare at the ceiling and sleep?” “What's that supposed to mean? What’s your point?” I retort. “It means this girl has you in a spell. You're not in love with her. You're delusional.” My eyes get hot, my jaw clenches. I try to remain calm but the rage is brought out of me from my stomach to my tongue. “Oh, like you're any better?!” 

“All you do is sit here and watch TV all day. You think women are disgusting and you don't even have a job!” Frank laughs heartily. *Quack, quack, quack!* “You don't think I know that? At least I'm not like you, who's never met a woman and now that he's seen one he thinks he's an expert. Let me tell you, Ingus,” he gets down off of the bed and in my face, “She doesn't love you and never will. And even if she pretends to, even if she thinks she does, it all ends in misery. And let's say, magically, it was fate, or true love, you don't even know what that would look like!” He pants heavily. “You’re letting it consume you,” he yells. I push him. “You have no idea what you're talking about! I AM in love and she loves me! I won't let you trick me or berate me into thinking otherwise.” “Get it through your head, numbskull, she's A MATE, her job is to make you feel that way. You should know better,” he responds. “Who's fault is that?! I asked you what I should expect down there and you said they were all disgusting and I shouldn't go. You know nothing about women either! They're all beautiful and bursting with life!” “Even if they are, it doesn't change the fact that Mates aren't the loving kind.”

“Look, Ingus. I'm not going to let you down this path. This path is corrosive.” “What path? One where I do something meaningful with my life, unlike you?!” He collects his thoughts. “Ingus, you hardly know this girl. I at least know my stance on women. I know I'm a loser, I know I blindly hate them ok?! I know the stakes of my life! I know I have no job, I know I’m terrible, but you, you're losing yourself to someone you met once! The industry she’s a part of is dangerous, man.” He pauses and continues, “Seriously, even if she does love you back, what’s stopping her boss from hurting you for taking her? Do you think that’s going to be easy, taking her from him I mean? You shouldn’t get involved in this, it’s just not safe. I don't want anything to happen to you.” 

“Why do you even care? You never talk to me, you only care about self pleasure, you've never shown me anything remotely close to you caring about me. So why now, why antagonize me, why push my buttons? I’m finally happy and now you want to take that away from me. Is it because you're jealous that I'll have something you never will?! Is it because you need me, and if I leave, you’ll be alone again, just like when I moved in?” Frank stops for a moment. He turns away. My heart races and my pulse swells in my ears. They feel clogged, like they're filled with peanut butter. He shouts, hitting the bed. He stomps away, waddling, leaving, slamming the door behind him.

I sit in silence, my head hurts. Who does he think he is? I know the feeling of love, because I feel it in my heart. Who's he to tell me what it is or isn't? I know what I saw in her eyes, I know what I felt when I sat on that couch next to her. He thinks women are repulsive, he thinks they're no different than objects. He's said it himself! There's no way I'm wrong in this. I mean, how could Frank be right? He hates women and is blinded by that. I don't know much about Frank, but that's one thing he's been adamant about. 

Ms.2000 will love me just like in the movie, and I'll prove it to him and that cab driver. It's just, how could these feelings be a lie? My heart is beginning to feel free and every day has been exciting since I met her. Everything is better, even the clouds look different! I’ve never felt so alive, so free to do anything I want. Ever since I was born, everything has been numb, a constant struggle. The numbness is finally lifting and all I want is to be happy. He's just doing what the rest of the world does, and even what I did. We all shut out happiness, well I won’t do that anymore! Forget it, I’m going to go see Ms.2000 right now!

I put my coat on, grabbing the gifts for Ms.2000. I stand in the doorway for a moment looking at the empty apartment. I will know every bit about love there is to know. This is my destiny, this is what’s given me purpose. The emptiness stares back at me. The apartment has never been so silent.