Frank walks along the raining streets of Numena, his jaw clenched, and the shadows under his eyes are bigger than ever. The swarms of people tower over him, and he lets them take him wherever they are going to take him. The streets are filled with a heavy humidity, puddles splashing and forming just as quickly with each step the crowd takes. Eventually, he ends up at Esteban’s, looking to drink a drink or two, or seven.

Once an available stool opens up, Frank uses his hand to wipe the raindrops off of the red leather seat. He jumps on, with his feet dangling. When Esteban recognizes his presence, he walks over. “Been a minute, Frank.” “Beer please.” “You know I can’t do that, friend. Remember the deal we had.” Frank becomes antsy. “Oh just do it!” Esteban whistles to get an unusually giddy Angela’s attention. She listens to a soundtrack in her mind, bobbing and smiling to it’s melodic pleasure. He whistles again, snapping her out of the trance. “Take over for me for a minute, will you?”

Frank and Esteban sit on top of Esteban’s, sitting in their usual rooftop spot, staring up at the sky. The raindrops patter and sizzle on the umbrella covering their heads. “Tell me what’s up, friend.” Frank hesitates, almost squirming mentally. “I’m here to listen,” Esteban says, lighting a cigarette. Its orange glow slightly lights his face. Esteban was a mustached man, it extended off of his face, with a patch of hair right underneath his bottom lip. He had a silver canine tooth, and a missing tooth on his bottom row of teeth. After some consideration, Frank says, “It’s Ingus. He thinks he’s in love with some Mate from The Jungle.”

“And?” Esteban asks. “What do you mean, “and?” He met her once and he’s letting her dictate his entire life.” “He did tell me all about her the other day when he rolled in with that cab driver, Donny. You’ve never cared for him too much this far, why now?” “Because, Esteban, it’s going to end in heartbreak.” Esteban takes a puff, exhaling outward before speaking again, “Believe me, it’s clear to me he’s most likely making a mistake. Between you and me, it would be idiotic to think he’s not going to get taken advantage of. And it’s clear to see he’s putting her on a pedestal. It’s clear to me, with the way he talks about her, that he’s foolish. He’s getting way too attached way too quickly.” Frank shakes his head yes once in agreement. “But,” Esteban continues, “There is always a chance he’s going to make it. Look at us, Frank. Look at the world we live in. None of us take chances anymore. It’s all gone to rubbish. I'm sure this girl has to be nice enough.”

Frank sits in the cool air, listening to Esteban. Esteban wasn’t necessarily a friend, rather than a mentor he came to every now and then when things got really bad to Frank. “I know you, Frank. You’re just like everyone around here. It’s easy to hate something that hurts you. But, just because it rains one day, can we totally swear off the Sun’s existence?” Esteban shrugs his shoulders. “If I can be honest with you, it seems to me we’re in a gray area here. I think you care about Ingus, and you have a point, but why not let him get whisked away? You also have demons that are corrupting you, Frank.”

“I know that, Esteban. The thing with Ingus is, he doesn’t. I’ve seen how living in ignorance ends.” Esteban goes on, “Look, I don’t know too much about your past, other than what you told me, but when was the last time you actually put yourself out there like Ingus is doing? When was the last time you let yourself get carried away by ignorance? Sure, ignorance will carry you out to unknown waters, and if these waters make you crash, at least you can say that you sailed. You and Ingus both need to make your own mistakes. I appreciate your concern for him. Did you tell him how you feel?”

“Yeah. I told him that she probably doesn’t love him and that it’s going to end badly.” “Well hey, you warned him, now it’s time to let fate decide, huh? As long as he’s not going to hurt her, or do anything crazy, if it ends badly, at least he can say he’ll learn from the experience. We all are like that at some point. I remember I had a crush on this girl who used to show up at my old job. After I got too scared to talk to her, I ended up buying an Ecstasy Machine. I never looked back, and ever since even after quitting I haven’t seen women the same.” Esteban shuffles his feet and looks at the sky, “And, honestly Frank, at the very least let's use his blind naiveness to inspire us a bit. It’s actually funny, when he told me how he felt about this “Ms.2000,” I felt how you feel. However, I was looking at a customer the other day and I was actually taken by her beauty. That doesn’t happen anymore, man.”

Frank reflects. It was odd how Esteban made him feel. If anyone else told him the things Esteban did, Frank would respond with anger or denial. But sometimes love, in a person to person way, found itself in places one would least expect it. “And that driver, Donny, he’s totally made a move on Angela, dude. I’ve never seen her so happy when he shows up. Her eyes light up, like a weight is being lifted off of her shoulders. I’m not too close with Donny, but you should see him too. He’s seen it all Frank, more so than us. The Jungle hasn’t been kind to him, but to see him taking chances like this is inspiring. I’m too much of a coward to take the leap into love like that again, so don’t get me wrong on this, I’m not pointing fingers at you. I’m just asking you to consider the possibility that you will start looking for love again.”

Frank scoffs. “I’m not talking about romantic love either. I mean loving yourself. Regardless of a rose’s past as a seed in the dirt, it’s still a rose. I think most of us are scared, Frank. Love at least in its true form, is like finding a needle in a haystack. Once we find it, we’d rather not let go no matter what, and if we have an experience which ruins that love, we swear off feeling that pain ever again. Frank, people like you and me are cowards. I don’t know, it just has me thinking.” “Esteban!” Angela shouts from below. A giant crowd surrounds the establishment. Esteban peaks over, “I gotta go help with the rush. Just think about what I said, man. Even if it all ends in flames, at least try.” Esteban walks downstairs. Frank is left alone with his thoughts. He heads home in the rain. With each drop he thinks about apologizing to Ingus. He wouldn’t budge, he knew Ingus was naive and foolhardy, however, Esteban’s words put into perspective things Frank hasn’t ever thought about. 

Frank reaches home and is surprised to see the house empty. At first he feels rage, then, an odd sadness. Frank is beginning to realize Ingus means more to him than he originally thought. His immediate reaction is to turn on the TV, which he habitually does. Watching the TV felt like water cooling a fire. Once pressure began to build up, distracting himself was so much easier than thinking. To feel the unbearable weight of existence was tiresome on his shoulders. It helped that, when he distracted himself, he was at least able to roll out from underneath the weight, just for a moment. Once thoughts began to crush him, pleasure was there to stop the walls from coming in. 

After watching some “Looking For The Countess’ Killer Robot,” he looks towards the bathroom. An urge overcomes him, and he waddles in through the house's loud silence. Shutting the door behind him, he pulls out the Ecstacy Machine from underneath the sink. His mouth nearly salivating, the synapses in his brain beg him to take a hit of the Ecstasy Machine. Everything in his body is chanting, “Xanadu, Xanadu!” He starts to put it on, but once over his eyes, he lets himself sit in the darkness. He hesitates for a moment. Should he continue on this way?

Frank sways as his mind thrashes, retaliating against what his soul is asking him to do. He slowly removes the machine and stares at his two hands. He opens and closes his right hand, then uses his thumb to rub his left hand’s palm. The ticklish sensation nearly makes him laugh. He cracks a smile, and then stares at himself in the mirror. 

After all this time a freeing thought has occurred to him: his hands aren’t bound. He rubs his right shoulder and looks down at his straightjacket. He wasn’t bound by it. He waves at himself in the mirror, delighted.