Embarrassment engulfed Chris's heart. The entire morning, his mind was filled with fragmented memories of the previous night. Some were vague, while others were crystal clear. His body seemed to remember those sensations even more acutely. He felt hypersensitive all over, and even the slightest rub of his clothes against his skin triggered an unbearable desire in him. This only intensified his feeling of shame about what he had done the night before. He couldn't face going back; he never wanted to see Ethan again.
Lost in a whirl of thoughts, Chris barely noticed the class passing by. Haruto handed him a box of mixed fruit juice. "You look like you didn't sleep well again last night?" he remarked.
"Yeah..."
"If you're uncomfortable staying with your relatives, you can come to our place. My mom would be super welcoming."
"You don't mind me sharing a bed with you?"
"I don't mind."
"I do. Last time you almost kicked me off the bed."
Haruto laughed sheepishly. "If you really come over, I'll clear out the guest room."
"You have a guest room?" Chris was surprised, as he hadn't even known how many rooms Haruto's house had.
"Yeah. But right now, it's used for storage. If you come, we can clean it up together." Haruto's eyes twinkled with anticipation as he looked at Chris.
Chris remembered what Ethan had said the night before - he didn't like him staying at someone else's place. If he defiantly moved to Haruto's house, he wondered what Ethan would do.
"I can't. My family wouldn't agree," Chris said, looking down.
"You're an adult..." Haruto started to say but then hesitated, his excitement fading.
"Let me... talk to my family about it," Chris suggested, thinking of his sister. If he discussed it with her and got her to speak on his behalf, Ethan might be out of options. After all, it was Chris who initially said he wanted to stay at Ethan's place, so he should have the right to change his mind.
"Guys, make way~" A chubby boy carrying several bottles of water tried to squeeze through the narrow aisle between the desks. When he reached Haruto, they both tried to make room, but the boy still dropped a bottle of water.
Chris reached down to pick it up, and as he bent over, his T-shirt collar gaped open. Haruto caught a glimpse of kiss marks running from Chris's chest down to his abdomen, causing his heart to almost stop.
Chris handed the water to the chubby boy, and Haruto seized his wrist. "Chris, come with me for a second."
Haruto pulled Chris to an empty classroom at the end of the hallway and locked the door. "What's up?" Chris didn't quite understand why Haruto suddenly needed to talk to him alone.
"Chris, you said you don't have a girlfriend, right?"
"Yeah."
"How about a boyfriend?"
"No, I don't have one either..."
"Then what are these marks on your body?" Haruto gently tugged at Chris's collar.
Chris's heartbeat skipped a beat, and he quickly grabbed his collar tightly. "Did you go out with someone you just met?"
"Yeah." Chris preferred Haruto to think that way.
"What dating app did you use?"
"It's my private matter." Chris avoided Haruto's gaze. Haruto was his favorite friend, and he didn't want him to probe any further.
Haruto sighed. "Was it a guy?"
Chris nodded.
"I don't mean to pry, but I'm really worried. I don't want my friend to get hurt... How long have you known him? How many times have you...?"
"We just met recently... It was just the first time, only once." Chris felt his face heat up, surprised at Haruto's detailed questioning.
"Did it hurt, or did you enjoy it?" Haruto's tone was akin to a doctor's inquiry.
"I don't know... Maybe I was out of my mind then. I feel pretty bad about it." Chris was now terrified, feeling like he was about to lose this friend. He looked down, clutching his collar as if trying to bury his head in it, like a child guilty of a misdeed.
Haruto softly stroked his hair. "It's okay, as long as you're not hurt. You're not hurt, right?"
Chris instinctively stepped back, as if saying, 'Don't touch me like that.'
Haruto felt a twinge of pain in his heart. Chris was good at keeping his distance, like a cat that would run away if you got too close, but cautiously approach when you least expected it.
In his heart, Haruto wondered: Who was the person that crossed the line with him?
“Class is starting soon,” Chris said cautiously.
For Haruto, it was rare to be troubled by anything. Even past romances hadn't brought him any sense of defeat. But why was the idea of Chris being with someone else driving him nearly insane?
It dawned on Haruto that maybe he had been attracted to this angelic figure from their very first meeting. He constantly wanted to be near Chris and to possess him forever.
After the cultural experience class in the afternoon, Chris didn't join Haruto for their usual meal. Instead, he left alone, looking dejected.
Wandering aimlessly down the street, Chris resembled a runaway child. As the autumn evening grew colder, he watched some boys playing basketball on a court. He remembered playing basketball with his father in the park when he was younger. His father's once-healthy figure, which quickly turned sickly and frail, echoed in his mind, along with his father's repeated warnings: "Don't trust anyone."
"Wherever you go, that's your home, understand?"
His father had continually pushed him away, but he had nowhere else he wanted to be.
Chris found himself on a bustling bridge, gazing down at the waterfall-like flow of traffic below. He contemplated jumping, wondering if heaven might be his true home. As he lightly leaned on the railing, preparing to lift himself, rapid footsteps approached from behind. Arms wrapped around him from the back.
"Chris!" The voice sounded more panicked than his own.
Chris turned and smiled at Haruto. "You said you weren't hurt," Haruto said, holding him tightly.
"Don’t worry, Haruto. As long as someone still loves me, I won’t choose to leave. I just wanted to feel the wind of heaven. That's not too greedy, is it?"
The tragic beauty that Chris emanated once again stirred Haruto's heart.
***
Haruto's bedroom.
Chris could no longer fall asleep as easily as before.
"Haruto, I think, I have to go home."
"Don't you like going back?"
Chris fell silent again. He would rather Haruto break up with him than Haruto care about him like this.
"Chris, the other party forced you, right?"
"Not really..."
"Can you let me check it for you?"
"It's okay, nothing happens to me." Chris hugged the quilt tightly.
Haruto's nervous hands were also cold, "Chris, if you just go back like this, I really can't rest assured. Please."
What Chris wanted to check most was the head he was hit by Nate yesterday. Although there were no signs of trauma on his head, it was still aching. But he didn't want to add to Haruto's worries.
Chris gently lifted up his T-shirt, intending to prove to Haruto that nothing happened to him.
"Look, it's actually nothing."
"What's down there...down there?"
Chris blushed suddenly, "It's okay."
"Let me take a look at it for you?" Haruto nervously went to unzip Chris's pants.
Chris held Haruto's hand to stop him. "Wait a minute, Haruto..."
"Did you say 'no' to that person last night?"
"..."
Although Haruto majored in pharmacy in college, he also has knowledge of medicine. He once worked as a volunteer in a nursing center and was very good at persuading stubborn elderly people. So it's not difficult to convince Chris to do what he wants.
He would use thoughtful words to get Chris to let down his guard and lie naked on the bed without feeling embarrassed.
After Chris obediently removed his clothes, Haruto began the examination.
Haruto rubbed his fingers together, lubricated them, and then inserted them.
It was hot and soft inside, and Haruto felt the heat inside Chris rush into his body, making him feel hot all over.
"It seems fine. Did you wear a condom when you did it?"
"Yes."
Haruto's fingers touched somewhere, and Chris curled up with a cry. Haruto was startled. "Are you OK?"
"Stop doing it..." Chris pleaded, grabbing Haruto's arm.
Haruto suddenly became jealous of the person last night. Chris allowed that person to enter his body, but kept trying to push him away. Haruto pulled out his fingers in frustration.
"Chris, do you hate me?"
"no."
"Then why...why do you want to have sex with someone else but don't let me touch you? You don't hate me...you don't like me either, right?"
"No!" Chris was eager to explain. He was too afraid of losing this friend!
Haruto knelt on the bed and kissed Chris.
Chris didn't expect this kiss. It was gentle and gentle. Unlike Ethan's unreasonable kiss, Haruto's affectionate kiss made his heart melt.
"Chris, let's date! Do it with me." Haruto was surprised that he would say such a thing. He rarely showed his feelings. He always watched everything around him in a low-key manner, never trying to catch anything. .
Chris was stunned. Although he liked Haruto, he never thought about dating Haruto. "Aren't we friends? I don't want to lose you as a friend."
Haruto held Chris in his arms, "You won't lose me."
In panic, Chris thought of Ethan. The fear of Ethan, a madman, prevented him from agreeing to Haruto immediately. "Associating with me...may cause you a lot of trouble."
"Chris, if you left me and went out with someone else, that would be my real problem."
Just when Chris was about to answer, someone knocked on the bedroom door, and a man's voice came - "Haruto, are you in the room?"
"Yes, Dad!" Haruto arranged his clothes nervously.
Chris quickly put on his clothes.
"Your mother was on a business trip. She was worried that you wouldn't eat on time, so she asked me to bring you a pizza."
"Ah, okay, Dad."
Haruto opened the bedroom door in a panic and saw the burly stepfather standing at the door carrying a box of pizza.
"I don't know what flavor you like to eat. How about Hawaiian pizza?"
"It's still hot! Thank you!" Haruto happily took the box of pizza from his stepfather.
"Oops! It turns out that your friend is here as a guest. It seems that I bought less. There is also a pepperoni pizza. I will get it for you right now." Seeing that there was someone else in the bedroom, the father hurriedly went downstairs to get some more. Get a pizza.
"One is enough for the two of us." Haruto said quickly.
Haruto's stepfather smiled cheerfully and asked, "Do you want beer?"
Chris and Haruto shook their heads at the same time.
"No, one pizza is definitely not enough. If you don't like pepperoni, can I buy another flavor?"
"It's not that I don't like eating, is it really that I can't eat that much?" Haruto said.
"I can only eat one piece by myself. You two can't eat one piece. No wonder you are so thin. I remembered that there are dishes left by your mother in the refrigerator. Since there are three of us, let's come to the restaurant to eat together. .”
Haruto's stepfather's enthusiasm was unexpected. Chris secretly guessed in his mind that he was a plumber? Or a boxer? The strong muscles of his arms seemed to be able to break the legs of a table with ease.
He didn't seem to notice the subtle awkwardness between Haruto and Chris, and kept telling jokes to himself.
A man walks into a restaurant and the waiter asks him what he would like to drink. He replies, “I'll have a diet cola, please.” The waiter nods and then asks, “Do you want regular diet cola, or lemon , cherry, or vanilla flavored?" The customer thinks for a moment and then says, "I'll have the 'flavor-free' diet cola."
"He likes to tell weird jokes like this," Haruto explained.
Chris also relaxed and took the sugar-free Coke from the humorous man. This is Haruto's mother's request. If you want to buy Coke, buy sugar-free. This is her bottom line.
Chris looked at this childish middle-aged man and remembered his father's worried face all day long. He could rarely see a smile on his father's face. It would be great if I could live in such a family...Chris couldn't help but fantasize about it.
"Sir, you are so funny. Are you a stand-up comedian?" Chris also wanted to make a joke.
"You're not the first to say that." Haruto's father became proud.
Haruto said, "He's a police officer."
Chris suddenly choked on his Coke and started coughing.
police……
How else was he supposed to be with Haruto unless he cut ties with his sister?
Chris felt a little drumstick beating in his heart. He no longer had the appetite to eat, so he hurriedly escaped from Haruto's house on the pretext that it was late.
Why, home always becomes an obstacle for him...
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