The blaring of an alarm I forgot to turn off the night prior roused me from my slumber. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I blearily bypassed the lock screen of my phone, fumbling to silence the irksome squawking of my alarm.

I swiped through my apps to find the right one and finally turned it off. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned and checked my notifications. 

New Email from Lakeside Community College

Shocked out of my grogginess, I quickly opened the email and ran my eyes over it repeatedly. It took 3 tries for me to finally read and understand the text on the screen. 

December 1st, 2014

Deleon County Community College

Dear Faith,

We are pleased to inform you that Deleon County Community College has selected you as the winner of our Bright Futures Essay Contest. Your essay captures the spirit of hard work and determination and we feel you would be a great fit for our university. DCCC will award $5,000 dollars towards your tuition for the 2014-2015 school year. We look forward to seeing you on campus soon.

Best regards,

Chastity Winters

By the time I had finished reading the email, my hands were shaking and tears had brimmed in my eyes. Excitement, anxiety and fear swirled in my gut. I felt as if I could run a marathon, but I also felt like if I stood, I might throw up. 

Despite my unease, I pulled myself from my bed and threw on some pants that were in a heap on the floor. I had planned on cleaning my room today, but that would have to wait. I scrambled out the door and into the kitchen, where the two older Wooding siblings were talking over a cup of coffee and plates of toast at the dining table.

Matt gave me a quizzical look, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Woah, woah, where's the fire, Luna?"

My words were a typhoon of gibberish in my excitement to relay the good news, which made Kris giggle and Matt hold up a hand. "Easy now, say it again and take a breath this time!" He chuckled.

"I said I got a scholarship! Deleon Community College really liked my essay about what I would do with my degree." It felt as if my very bones were vibrating, I could hardly hold still and was fidgeting with the string of my hoodie that I was still wearing from the night prior. 

My joy was contagious and Kris's face split into a wide smile, she slid out of her chair and wrapped me up in a big hug, bouncing with me in excitement. Matt came out of his seat as well, patting me on the back with a grin. "Holy shit, Luna! That's great!! I'm so proud of you."

I pulled a chair up to the table as Kris sat back down across from me. I pulled up the email from before and showed it to Kris and Matt. Matt's cobalt eyes widened in surprise and Kris gasped. "Five THOUSAND dollars!? That's a little over half a year's worth of school! That's a whole semester, Luna!" 

 "You won't have to worry about funding for quite some time, that'll give you time to save." Matt added, adjusting the hat on his head. "Congrats, Luna, that's a hell of a leg up for you."

Just as Matt started to walk back to his bedroom, the youngest Wooding brother came out of their shared bedroom, rubbing his eyes, haphazardly dressed for school. "What are y'all yelling about in here? I thought the bus was here, but it's only 6:45." He threw his backpack down and grabbed a bowl of cereal from the kitchen.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Kris cut me off. "Luna just got a scholarship for five thousand bucks!" 

I glowered at her for telling my news before I could, but my look was short lived as Dylan wrapped me up in a tight hug that nearly knocked me out of my chair. The wiry redhead rocked us back and forth for a minute before letting me go. "That's awesome, Luna! I'm so psyched for you!"

"So, what do you want to go to college for?" Kris asked between bites of toast.

I froze. "Uh.."

Truthfully, I hadn't really thought that far ahead, if I'm honest. I don't really have any hobbies, no special interests as a kid that were practical for a job. Hell, how do people my age even figure out what they wan to be at my age? What if I choose the wrong major and hate my future job?

That anxiety was back again, circling around my brain and I bit my lip to try and still my thoughts. Kris put a hand on my shoulder and rubbed it gently. "Hey, easy, it's okay. A lot of people don't know what they want to do when they get out of college, you can always go get you basic courses done and then decided what electives you want to pursue, or you can even go just get a general degree, like a degree in Business or something."

Her words should have calmed me down and put me at ease, but the cruel whispers in the back of my mind kept feeding my doubt. I put my best reassuring smile on my face and looked at Kris. "That's not going to be my worry right now. I'm going to celebrate with some Marshmallow Stars Cereal." I tried to sound carefree as I made my way to the cabinets, but I could tell that Kris wasn't buying it based on the look she shot me.

I was, quite literally, saved by the bell, as Kris glanced at the clock over the oven and grabbed her other piece of toast. "Aw, shit! Dylan, come on, we have to get you to the bus stop and I got to get to work, I'm opening today and we have a truck coming in."

I watched from the kitchen as Kris and Dylan hurried out the door and debated on what I was going to do on my day off.

--

I found myself staring blankly at the tv as the true crime documentary droned on. My mind was far away and I found myself thinking of Taylor. We hadn't talked much since we had gone to the park and she'd visited my house. I wasn't entirely sure if that was due to Matt being a jerk or if something I had said at the park had made her wary.

When I was around Taylor, it was like there was some part of the joke I just didn't get. Like there was some context I was missing. I felt more and more like there was a piece of the puzzle just barely out of my reach. 

I stared up at the aging ceiling above me, the eggshell-colored popcorn texture was collecting an admirable yet disgusting amount of dust. I wished I wasn't so awkward; maybe Taylor was tiring of my sheltered-ness. Maybe I had said something offensive and not even realized it. 

I picked up my phone and scrolled through social media, sighing. I was so used to the hustle and bustle of the last few weeks that having a day off with nothing to do was a little weird. I really needed to clean my room, maybe take a shower and take care of myself. I recalled my therapist's warnings about taking care of myself and groaned.  I knew what I needed to do, but I just really didn't want to. I clicked the tv remote and the monotone crime documentary went silent as the tv turned off. 

Steeling myself, I hoisted myself out of the comfort of the aging couch and stood up. Shuffling to the sanctuary of my room, I looked around. The remnants of the week before were strewn around my room. The mismatched sheets were thrown haphazardly across my lumpy twin mattress and my pillows were being consumed by the gap between my bed and the wall. 

I began by straightening the sheets and making my bed before grabbing the cracked plastic laundry hamper and tossing my wrinkled clothes in to be washed. I picked up the stray glasses and the trash that had accumulated and tossed them in a trash bag. 

Feeling accomplished, I finished my cleaning spree by tossing my clothes in the rusty washer and went to go sit back down on the couch. I had no sooner gotten comfortable when I felt my phone vibrate in my sweatpants pocket. I couldn't help the hope that maybe it was Taylor messaging me.