‘Do you want to live?’

Ryunise closed her eyes. She was so tired. Just close her eyes and rest them.

‘Do you want to live?’

A question that’s been plaguing her like some kind of chronic disease. Can’t her mind ever just let her mind be well enough alone?

‘I ask you: Do you want to live?’

Of course I want to live. If dying is this painful, why would I ever want to die? It’s too long, it’s too hard, it’s too painful, and so many people are suffering. Ryunise’s father, mother, the town Faella, Principal August risking his very life to keep her in this world, the kind Elouis, and the rude Vin. It’s not worth the death scythe shadow lording over me right now.

‘But do you want to live?’

Isn’t that kind of the same thing?

‘No. It is not.’

Oh great. I’m having disagreements in my own mind. I thought I left my invisible inner friends a long time ago.

‘Do you want to live?’

‘Do you want to live?’

‘Do you want to live?’

Oh. My. God. How many times are you going to repeat it? It’s like some annoying radio clock that won’t shut the hell off even when you unplug it.

‘Answer me, Ryunise Emerodelle of Rakoul.’

Yeah, about that. I’m not Ryunise. I don’t know where she is, and I don’t know where to even start to find her. I’m someone else from somewhere out there. I don’t know how I ended up here, but I’m not Ryunise.

‘It matters not who you once were.’

What?

‘What matters now is that you are here. You inhabit this body.’

But…I’m not her. I’m not Ryunise. I’m an adult woman brought there by some unknown reason. My life has no magic. It has indoor plumbing, electricity, cars, smart phones and TV!

‘You are not there. You are here. What matters now is that you are here now.’

For some kind of inner voice, you sure are surprisingly calm at all my complaints.

‘You are here. I am here. The question still stands: Do you want to live?’

“Ryunise…?” Marcaes cupped her face, “…Ryunise…?”

“She’s not breathing…” Elouis tried to feel for a pulse.

“Ryunise…!”

Do I…want to live…?

‘Do you want to live?’

Do I want to live…as Ryunise Emerodelle…? Even though I’m not her? I’m not the original owner. Do I have such a right?

“Ryunise! Move, shift, do something!”

Do I have the right to take her family away, to receive all their love and care, and continue to deceive them…?

‘Do you want to live?’

Live…will there be nothing for me if I don’t accept? What will happen to me? What about me? Don’t I deserve something? To just fade away, or, God forbid, be shuffled into another life filled with even more suffering? What good will that do? What do I…want…?

‘Do you want to live, human child?’

….

…yes…

Yes…please…let me live…I want to live. I want to live!

In the darkness, in the black, a single point of light broke. A ray of hope, a ray of resolve. A shining, burning, passionate star that gravitated closer and closer. The color of ruby and fire. The color of everlasting energy. The color of root and the beginning. She squinted her eyes as the deep night was scraped to gray, and then a searing white.

There was no more pain. Just absolution. No emotions, yet all the empathy. Thoughtless, yet knowing all.

‘When you wake, my young ring, come to me in one year’s time. I will be waiting.’

Ryunise opened her eyes. A wealth of mango and raspberry sorbet of colors was practically saying ‘good morning, sleepy head!’ shaped in the language of flowers. But it’s not the hues that shocked her, however. What surprised her more was the details. She could see every petal, every curve, every delicate vein painting life and vigor of daisies, star lilies, roses, and carnations. Her gaze could even zero in to the powdery pollen hidden in the middle of their saturated lashes.

“What…?”

She flexed her fingers, then lifted them up. Nails, lines, finger prints…and little speckled freckles.

“I can see…”

The girl turned her head and realized she was laying on a bed. More flowers. Some cherry, yellow, striped, lush greens and stalks. She couldn’t name them all, but it didn’t matter. They were beautiful. A tickle of a breeze of fresh air touched along her small body. Was there a window open?

Ryunise sat up. It was a four-poster bed with sheer white and cream curtains free falling to dance and twirl with the wind. She heard the giggly whispers of grass and bushes, and a cackle of creaking branches. A wind chime bell and twinkled somewhere. It was warm, and reminiscent of a cool summer morning. Where is this place exactly?

But…

“…I’m…alive…” Her breath was full, clear, and it was caught by a well of emotions.

Alive.

I’m alive.

I can breathe.

Her arm felt a splash. Tears were falling from her eyes. Tears of salt, water, and life.

“…I’m alive…”

“Yeah. You are.”

Ryunise didn’t have to turn her head. She already knew, “Epsilon…”

The tall man was sitting next to her on the bed. When she turned her head, there was a flicker of brass and nerve sparking.

“What the hell? Why are you in all white?”

Epsilon was certainly in all white. His robes were a little more subdued, streamline, but in the same tailored style. He had a gold belt chained around his waist over dark brown leather ones with their buckles. A faceless diamond-shaped medal with star rays pinned the front flaps of his uniform and had golden ropes spiraling like a shooting star’s tail around his neck and hanging to loop down into his belts. He still had the same style of mask covering the lower half of his face, only this time it was made of velvet. There was a deep scar over his left eye that was puffed, and looked like it still caused pain. But it felt like it to be aged.

I guess I didn’t see it because I couldn’t see, she thought.

“Not even five seconds of being awake, and already you have to be such a rude ovary,” Epsilon snorted.

“What kind of insult is that?”

“One of a kind.”

“Charmed. For sure.”

Epsilon was watching her, and it made the girl shift. Now that her eyesight was back to normal, she could feel the full burden of those neon green moon orbs. It wasn’t like the power of a God or Goddess staring you down, but it came damn near close to it.

“You died, you know…” His voice was quieter.

“I what?”

“You died.”

Ryunise was at a loss and unbalanced. She died? But isn’t she alive right now?

“Don’t get me wrong. You’re alive right now. Currently, your heart is even beating 65 bpm.”

That’s not a term used in this world. Who the hell is this guy?

“But, you did die. The amount of blood loss that was on that floor that night was more than 40% of your total. Even with Old Auggie’s Miracles, you slipped away long before the Oracles reached you.”

“…but I’m alive,” Ryunise said after several heady seconds.

“Yeah.”

“How is that possible? Wasn’t Dark Sleep supposed to take me?”

“Nah. Not this. It wasn’t even Dark Drowning. You just succumb naturally like a weak human to critically severe blood loss,” He held her image in his eyes without blinking, “…but most of all, you gave up.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You,” The man pointed at her, “Gave. Up.”

“If I gave up, I wouldn’t be here, you know.”

He waved a hand, as if dispelling her rhetorical words, “I don’t know what went through that head of yours, but in the end, you let go. That should have been a case closed. But there was an interference.”

Ryunise glowered at him, “Do you have a thing for cryptic conversations?”

“Hey, I don’t get to talk to a whole lot of people. You could learn to exercise more patience.”

“I have patience. You’re just being a jerk.”

He snorted, then lifted a hand. He reached out and hovered curled fingers near the side of her head, but didn’t touch.

“An interference stopped your soul from detaching into the afterlife. It was as if time simply stopped. Just enough for you to make a decision…I think.”

“A decision? For what?” Ryunise frowned at him.

“Dunno,” He shrugged, “It seems you’ve forgotten. There are theories that whatever your soul, once cut off, can never carry any memories of what they did whatsoever. The capacity for imprinting ceases to exist. Not even those blessed by Gods and Goddesses can have soul recall.”

“Guess I proved those theories right then.”

“Guess so,” Epsilon pushed some of her auburn hair over her shoulders, “…you were dead for exactly eleven minutes. And by dead, I mean your soul was completely disconnected. There should be no logical way that you could come back to life.”

“I see…wait. You were watching everything? Why didn’t you do anything? Why did you just not jump in like you always do?”

“Now, hold on—”

“You could have done something! Couldn’t you? You were doing all those weird stuffs before, and touching me without permission!”

Ryunise was hit with a spinning wave, her head swimming, and it caused her to stagger back on her elbows. Green and yellow circles swam in her eyes as her equilibrium swayed.

I feel so sick. So, so sick I’m going to throw up all the colors of this painbow.