Honk, honk, honk… The room is spinning, and the throbbing behind my temples makes me wonder what time I made it back to my bed. The moment I open my eyes I know I am somewhere new. I’m not sure where or how I got here, but it’s not like this is the first time it’s happened. I just wish I knew how it all started and why I don’t remember anything that occurred prior. What did I do to deserve this type of existence, from what I’ve learned this should not even be possible. I’m so confused, but I will take this day by day and find answers anywhere I can.
“What you doin! You’s a tourist or what, learn how to drive”? I hear a man yell from the street below.
I swear this city is the perfect alarm clock, the noise is constant. No matter where I end up, I can always rely on hearing this noisy city. I need to close that damn window. Holy shit why is the room spinning, uh, everything feels so hazy. How much did I drink? Wait I don’t remember more than one shot, I remember the raven beauty though. Wait, raven beauty…where did I meet her again, is this her place or…is this what I fear the most?
“Hello” No answer, I don’t think anyone else is here.
This is a nice place, but I can’t recall exactly how I got here. Red satin sheets that feel expensive, besides the wet bar and this large bed everything gives off an ominous aura in this empty room. From the noise below, pretty sure I’m in a high-rise. Shit, it did happen again. I didn’t want to believe it; can’t I just wake up once in a strange room because I drank too much and met someone like normal people? I know, I’m not going to get any answers sitting here, I crawl out of the bed and with each footstep I come closer to the awful truth. One more push, I hold my breath as the door creaks open, and at the click of the light I close my eyes as I move towards the mirror. It will be different this time I tell myself, even though I know the chances of that are slim. The pictures on the nightstand did not look familiar, I felt like a stranger from the minute I opened my eyes.
With one more deep breath, I hesitantly blink my eyes open and glimpse the face in the mirror. Immediately I know it had changed, this face is not my own or the one I got used to seeing for the past few months. Hm, at least he’s good-looking, and from the looks of this apartment successful, but I don’t understand how this keeps happening? Am I so crazy that I don’t know who I am, that I would constantly feel like a stranger invading someone else’s life? How…what… why does this keep happening, how can a person not know who they are? Everything about this seems wrong, light blue eyes… Bah, I don’t recall my eyes ever being blue, they can’t be, it doesn’t fit with my dark skin. Except… according to the mirror in front of me, I don’t have dark skin, this buttery complexion is weird and I’m not sure what to think about the blondish hair. It all feels off, this body, this face, my surroundings. I must accept the facts; I don’t recognize the person in the mirror AGAIN.
First thing I need to learn more about this person. Where should I start looking, wallet… I need to find his wallet, I walk out of the bathroom, and peruse the open space, the furniture is all leather, black, and gray color graces the walls, table, and floors. There sitting pristinely on the glossy black dresser across from the bed is a wallet, keys, and other miscellaneous papers. On the floor propped against the wall is a briefcase. I reach for the wallet and start my search. Wow genuine leather, why am I not surprised? Everything else is leather in this place too. Ok, ID…where’s his ID? Credit cards, bank cards, anything will do. Aha, his name is Matthew Sobin and the address on the ID matches the address on the mail I saw earlier; ok Matt, what else can I learn about you? Any pictures, there are no pets, and no family photos… He doesn’t have any pictures of a wife or child anywhere and this place looks like a typical bachelor pad. Guess I got lucky again, just like Dean and Haden it’s another guy with no personal connections. I wonder what that’s about, if it can only be men with no relations, but who cares, there are many more important answers I need and I don’t want to deal with close relationship anyway, I would hate to have someone notice any differences between me and Matthew. Like does he go by Matty or Matt, people are usually particular about that kind of shit.
Ok, back to my search, who is Matthew? I have a name, need to figure out what Matty here does, phone… I need his phone; these days you can learn anything about a person through their phone. The briefcase, I open the flap and there staring at me from the first open pocket, like it’s taunting me is a shiny screen, I lift it out of the pocket and thank God for fingerprint recognition, without it I would never be able to open anyone’s phone. Hm, this is interesting the text says that Matt doesn’t drink anything but scotch, but I’m sure I was drinking whiskey last night.
Now that I think about it, why did I go drinking again in the first place, it was to celebrate something, but celebrate what? That’s right, it wasn’t Matt, Haden went out with colleagues to celebrate his promotion. I remember, I was feeling lightheaded after a couple of shots, so I went to the lounge area to rest for a moment. There was an intensity wrenching me forward, it was like a chain that was being yanked on so hard I had no choice but to follow it. That’s when I found myself in the fog covered city. I could hear the muffled voices, and then I heard her voice and even though it sounded far away, somehow, I knew if I looked through the dense clouds, I would see her. I have vague memories of seeing her before, but for the first time she sounded closer than ever, so when I bent forward and glimpsed her silhouette, I was awestruck that she was there, I always thought she was a ghost that haunted me. A ghost from my past, she was as ethereal as I always suspected. With that long raven hair cascading down her slender back and those striking green eyes. I was captivated the minute she looked up and smiled at me. It was strange though, she felt familiar somehow, and once she started to chant, a warm feeling came over me, it was almost like a missing piece was being put back in place. In her presence, I no longer felt like I was wearing someone else’s skin. For once I was me, and I could finally take a breath. As she continued to pour solace into the people around us, I could tell she was starting to grow weak. Suddenly, I felt a hard yank, the grasp stunned us both, it was violent and came out of nowhere, but as she was being seized, I heard a whisper float by “I promise, I will find you” That one promise gave me the courage to close my eyes and willingly let myself drift back to Hayden and the life of a stranger.
Yeah, I forgot I chose to return, but how did I end up returning to a new body, is it because I saw her, would she have something to do with Matt? I barely have any recollection of being Hayden, but I remember her, I remember what she looks like, sounds like, and I can even recall what she smells like, but I vaguely remember anything about my own life. I wish I knew her name. I wonder if I would feel the same peace if I met her here in this noisy godforsaken place. No matter how many different faces I have, I never get to leave this metropolis of sin. Why would anybody choose to live in such a suffocating place? Still, this time is different, I remember being Hayden and I remember where I went before coming here. Was it all because of her? There’s something about her when I’m near her I am more whole than at any other time. Who knows, maybe she is going through the same thing, living as a distorted cog of an unfamiliar wheel. I know what I need to do, she made the promise to find me, but I can go anywhere in my mind, so I will find her first, and I will ensure that we can meet, but before I can do that. I need to know more about how Matthew lives. This is just another identity I need to conquer; I will find answers for all my questions after I learn how to be Matt Sobin.
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