What was that I was wide awake and still blacked out. It’s strange though for the first time in a while I feel refreshed like I could overcome anything that came at me. I feel so alive and energized I need to go somewhere with this great mood I’m in, I haven’t felt like this in quite some time, it’s been so long that I can’t remember the last time I felt this good. There’s no reason to waste this good feeling on anyone in this house, I need to go see Asten, I can’t wait to tell him all the crazy shit that’s been happening to me. With a bounce in my step for the first time in a long time, I got ready and ran out the door.
“Mom, Mom, where are you going, hello.” Erin implores.
“Don’t worry Erin, I will be back later, just need to go out for a bit.” I respond.
I rushed out the door quickly to avoid anyone stopping me, with a one-track mind I know I will make it before he goes off to his next appointment.
“Asten, are you in the back?” I call.
“Holy shit, is that Sety’s voice I hear?” Asten yells excitedly.
“Wow, I never thought I would see you, how’s family life.” Asten asks.
“Asten, I have so much to tell, you will not believe what has been happening to me.” I say giddily.
“Hold up Sety, before you tell me, I have something for you and since I don’t know when I will see you again, I want to make sure I give it to you now.” Asten inquiries.
“Oh, a gift for me, you didn’t have to.” I say happily.
“It’s more than a gift Sety, I found it on one of my expeditions, and I’m pretty sure it was meant for you, or that’s the feeling I get when I hold it. One second, let me grab it quick.” He pleads happily.
I’m curious about what Asten found and how it’s related to me.
“Now, this is not some normal piece of jewelry, so we need to be extra careful. I’m going to place it on the table next to you.” Asten states.
“Wow Asten, it’s beautiful, it has such a deep purple tint.” I say awe shines from my words.
“Yes, this is an amethyst amulet, and I can’t imagine anyone else wearing this, when I found it I felt a sense of welcoming, but there was this urge to bring it to you. I’m not sure how but I knew it was only meant for you. So Eset, I want you to touch the amulet, and I want to know what you feel when you do.” Asten explains.
I don’t say anything to Asten, after he pulls the amulet out, I’m drawn to it, I can feel the power that seeps from this stone, this piece of jewelry is the answer to questions I never thought about asking. As I hesitantly reach for the stone, I sense a familiar sense of tranquility, but before I could pull my hand back, I snatch up the amulet and hold near my chest. Immediately a rush sweep over me with a cool sensation that feels like rushing water cleansing me. I become aware of being enveloped by the divine peace I only ever felt in my dreams. Suddenly in a slight breeze, I hear the chimes of a bell and the haunting words.
Come to your house, come to your house!
The words sound familiar, like a faraway forgotten memory. As I hold the amulet, I see how much more confident I feel, and I wonder what will happen when I wear the amulet.
I describe everything to Asten, and he agrees that the next thing to do is put the piece of jewelry on. When Asten places the amulet around my neck, I start to feel the same divine energy, the cleansing allows renewed peace to take hold of me. When the necklace is clasp, I get the impression its burrowing within my skin, it’s clear I have no intentions to take it off ever.
“Asten, I think this amulet has always belonged to me, maybe there’s a reason why it has attached so firmly. I need to tell you what has been happening. Still, thank you Asten, I truly love it and I can tell it’s already making me stronger.” I emphasize.
“If that’s the case, then keep wearing it Eset I believe it was meant for you too. Let’s go have some coffee and talk.” Asten advises.
“Yes, that’s a great idea, because I have a story for you.” I state full of glee.
“Oh, Eset let’s hear it, what crazy thing happened to you?” he probes.
“So, to start off I found out that I can’t die!” I say shockingly.
“I’m sorry what!” Asten asks dumbfounded.
“Let me start at the beginning, I shot myself in the head…but” I add.
“Hold up! Eset, what do you mean by you SHOT yourself in the head?” Asten confirms.
“Oh, don’t worry Asten, it didn’t work anyways, besides there’s more. When I thought I had died, I found myself or my spirit in a foreign city that was burning, and the people around me were experiencing so much pain and desperation. I knew that rain would relieve some of the destruction so just like the people I asked the sacred ones for rain and with no real expectations, raindrops fell from the sky.” I explain.
“That’s a wild dream Eset, but to clarify, did the dream start with you shooting yourself?” he interrogates.
“No, Asten, listen to me. I did shoot myself, but it didn’t work. While I was recovering my spirit went somewhere else and that’s not the craziest part either, it happened again, only this time I did not need to shoot myself.”
“Eset…I’m sorry, but you shot yourself! You did not die! You had a strange dream, or your spirit traveled somewhere else! Is that what you’re telling me right now?” he questions skeptically.
“Yes, that’s it, but remember I said it happened again, when it did, I was wide awake, and my spirit went back to that same city cloaked in flames. A young boy was there and Asten, the boy, called for me! He asked me to heal his mom, she was badly burned and would not make it through the night, but when that boy grabbed my hand and called to me to save his mother, there was something guiding me to say yes. It reminded me of how much I love treating the sick. Asten, I miss being a healer, my divorce is almost final I want to move towards a profession in healing.” I blurt in a rushed stream of words.
“Slow down Eset, I’m happy your divorce is close and I’m all for you doing something you love, but this story is a little insane to wrap my head around!” Asten says in a disbelieving tone.
“I know, but the emotion I got from healing that boy’s mother and saving that burning city is the same feeling I’m getting from this amulet.” I explain.
“Wow, I know that amulet is something unique, so it’s possible that none of it was a dream. Did anything else happen or is that where your tale ends.” Asten questions.
“There’s more, as I was completing the healing ritual, I looked up and saw a silhouette of a man, he was my type. He had short black hair, dark black like ink from a pen, this brown skin that resembled ash, and the most intimidating but intriguing forest green eyes that held a coldness to them. He stared at me intensely but as we silently watched each other I noticed he began to diminish before my eyes. With just a look, Asten, I could sense his caress. There was something about him, it felt right to be near him.” I speak with an excited rush.
“Ok, Eset! That’s intense, was he a dream, I know how you feel about your ex.” Asten ask in guarded voice.
“No, Asten, I’m serious, that man is real, and we are connected somehow. This has given me a deep understanding of strength and pride, I will continue and Asten, I will figure out why I’m never happy, what happened to my life, why I feel lost and the face in the mirror is a stranger. I will find me Asten, and I will find him.” I exclaim.
With each word I could sense the liquid running down my face, I believed what I was saying. I trusted how I felt, but I was surprised by the words and emotions I was expressing. I could finally see my potential and embrace who I was. This was the first time I felt happy and strong.
“Eset, I don’t understand everything your saying, but I know you, and remember if you ever need anything, all you need to do is ask.” Asten reminds me.
“Asten, this is why you’re my best friend, I can’t imagine…” I trail off.
Huh, I know this feeling, dammit, not now, any other time.
“Sorry, Asten, I need to cut this short, it seems my spirit is being pulled.” I rush to say.
When I close my eyes, I know I’m no longer sitting with Asten. There is so much rain, the water rising higher. The ocean is close by and if it fills up more, this town will drown. These people are suffering the same as the last, but instead of a city encased in fire. It’s a town submerged in water. The only thing I could sense was the same turmoil as the fire city. I close my eyes, raise my head, and chant.
Oh, Sacred Ones, I call to you, bring sunlight, the sun heals and replenishes. It begins anew.
I watch quietly as the rain dissipates and the sun peeks through the clouds ready to heal and rebuild. I think that may be why I was pulled here or anywhere. If I am the one who is healing these people. Then why do they say, goddess? Well, it doesn’t matter right now, I need to figure out a better way to help. I need to understand how my spirit travels to these other places without me. I will assess reactions, interpretations, and my own actions more closely. As I began to review those around me. I feel his arrival. I could sense his touch, the impenetrable strength he carries. I lift my head to catch a glimpse of him, but I’m not be able to see him this time. He is close, but still not close enough. I can’t stay with him; I have others out there that needed me. So, I gently whispered to him. “I have not forgotten my promise, I will find you.” With a smile in his voice, he murmured “Not, if I find you first.” I giggled at that comment and walked towards the wailing in the building. I could feel a tug pulling on me, and sense the pressure of a headache, but it was not as strong as I remember it being. At the next tug, I closed my eyes, I could see the shadow of Asten’s shop and the table I was sitting at. Slowly I let myself be pulled back and when I opened my eyes there was no sensation of being overwhelmed, no fatigue or incoherence. I was whole and secure for the first time in a long while. I didn’t know what was different, but there was something new going on. I reached up unknowingly to clutch my amulet, as I could sense it grounding me. As I held on to it, I experienced the calm serenity embracing me. I look down at the iridescent stone and realize something that had changed recently. The amulet was a part of me now, it had called to me and even now it cleanses me.
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