Knowing what I do now, I would never choose to come back here. I should leave when I get the first chance, but I know I can find answers here and I’m positive Seth is in the middle of those answers. I will no longer be bullied in my own home anymore, even if it’s a temporary home. I pull open the door to the incessant screech of Erin making unnecessary noise, but I don’t see her anywhere, so I move towards the stairs to head up to my room. When I hear a long-winded sigh.
“Where have you been, I’m starving, and we don’t have anything. You have been gone all day and you don’t even answer your phone. Anyway, like I said I’m hungry make me something to eat.” Erin demands.
I look at this ungrateful brat, I can’t believe she is speaking to me like that. I wonder why these kids had to be so obnoxious.
“No, Erin, if you are hungry then make something. I do not work at your beck and call and I won’t put up with you speaking to me like that anymore.” I admonish.
I don’t want to waste any more time with someone else’s children. I step away without looking back. As I enter my bedroom, I notice the smell has dissipated some, but there’s still stains on the floor and blood splotches on the walls. The pictures were removed so it’s nothing but an empty room now. All that’s left is a queen bed pushed against the back wall and a nightstand, even though there isn’t much to look at, it’s become my favorite room in this big house. After removing my shoes, I grab my laptop and lay back on the bed. I need to learn all I can about Egyptian lore and the gods.
I know that Isis was a powerful sorceress and healer. She had control over anything if it was related to healing, but this states that just as she could give life, she could also be bloodthirsty and ruthless, ultimately robbing a life. The more I learn about her, the more I’m convinced that we are the same. I still don’t understand how, or why? I do recall that Thoth said Eset is my true name, and no one is supposed to know that, since knowing a god’s true name can be harmful to the god. Does Seth know my real name? Is that why he would make it apparent to call my name no matter the occasion? Was he giving me a subtle hint about what he knew all this time?
I spent hours poring over books about Egyptian myths and the gods, I was reading about how Isis searched for Osiris who was tricked by his brother to lay inside a wooden chest. The chest was sealed shut with Osiris inside and thrown into the river. By the time Isis finds Osiris, his body was encased within the great Tamarisk tree. The story talks about Isis’s struggle to save Osiris. As I leaf through one story after another, trying to learn what I can. An excruciating suffocation takes hold, and it pulls me down, I can barely catch my breath as I begin to feel light-headed. With one last attempt, I grow weak trying to speak out, I succumb, and everything goes dark.
The rain is strong as it rages against the night sky, I can hardly see the front of my hand much less the road. I’m exhausted, I just pulled another all-nighter in the maternity ward and NICU. I know Seth’s going to be mad. He wants me to stop working, but it fulfills me more than anything else has. The car swerves on the slick roads and I have to stop it from going over. Tap, tap, tap, I engage the brakes in a slow-going motion to avoid further problems. When I hear the faint noise of someone calling out.
“Help! Help! Please, anyone please help!” The voice cries out.
I open my window and there below the river is someone screaming for help. I quickly, but cautiously put the car in reverse and drive in a new direction. Once I arrive the water is violently swaying back and forth, and I can only catch glimpses of someone in its depths. I run towards the edge, remove my socks and shoes, the heavy coat, and any other layers that I feel are too heavy. I quickly dash forward, not thinking about the temperature of the water. I can hear them a little better now, but the splashing buries the volume.
“Please, help us, help him?” A woman sobs.
I follow the path of the voice until my eyes are focused on the woman floating further away, she is holding tightly onto something. I take a deep breath and dive towards her. As I reach her, I see that what she is holding is a small boy. He is turning blue and barely breathing. I place my palm on his forehead and close my eyes.
“He is much too young; it is not his time. This boy will grow strong. The waves will protect what they cannot devour.” I chant.
I grab hold of both the woman and boy and pull them to the edge, but before I can climb out of the rampant waters with them, I am sucked back in. I’m unable to swim against the stream my arms reach out but touch nothing but water. I stir wildly back and forth with the furious current until I feel the sting of something sharp strike me. Immediately I know I am not leaving this watery grave, I guess the river is angry with me for taking away its prey. I drop further and further into the black abyss, and everything goes silent.
When I drift out of the water, my lungs are on fire and I feel as though I died, if only just for a minute. The sky is clear and bright, the storm nothing but a memory. I am so far away from the shore. I stand in place confused with an uncontrollable racing heart.
“What happened, did I only think I was drowning?” I mutter.
I look around and realize I’m on the other side of cliff, that sucks the only way back to the shore and my care is to swim.
“Seriously, I guess if the first swim didn’t kill me, the river will get a second chance!” I laugh.
I begin to ascend up to the shore and out of the water. I feel off, I look up and see my car sitting there waiting for me. I paddle faster, not worrying about exhaustion or what has already occurred, my only focus is getting out and away from the water. I start to feel the weight pulling me down and rise to take another big gulp of air in. I gather the muster to push forward a little more until I reach my destination. I clumsily stand and wobble out of the water. When I get to the car I sit just thinking. I look down at the river and the place I landed. I don’t understand how I’m alive. Why didn’t I drown?
I rise with a start; the air evaporates in a thick curl and I suck in each puff of breath I can get. I died once before, I remember now. How could I forget that night? I died when I saved that woman and little boy I’m sure of it. Even though I died, I’m not dead, I couldn’t die by my own hand and now I remember I couldn’t by nature either. Why am I forced to stay alive? Is it because of Isis? She’s a healer and a sorceress, is there some connection between her and death? I don’t remember ever reading anything about death when it came to Isis, except that she can bring those who need it back to life and she can take a life just as easily. There is still so much I can’t recall or I don’t know.
I need to go to the other plane, the place where people know me as her. I need to learn more about the Egyptian gods. I sit on the bed and take hold of my amulet; I close my eyes and breathe in slowly counting down the seconds. I instantly feel the chill of the air against my skin and hear a distant voice floating by on the wind.
Lady of Heaven, Mistress, and Queen of the gods return to us.
I look around, but see nothing, there is no one outside, no cries for help. I continue to move forward and hear it again.
Lady of Heaven, Mistress, and Queen of the gods we invoke you.
I am not sure what is happening, but the voice is getting incessant. The hairs on my skin stand up as I once again look all around me. I
“Hello, show yourself. I can help you if I know who and where you are.” I call out.
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