~Alexie Ivanov~

What didn’t help my anger issues today was the fact that these nimble brains never cease to understand the basic principle that differentiates them from the realm of animals. If they act like canis lupus familiaris, then I shall treat them as such. For the well-being of my anger issues and everyone else in this universe, and because I am a very gentle, patient, and kind person – a great protector and guardian, well-suited and well-selected, as my mentor would attest, I orchestrated these imbeciles to eliminate each other. I am a kind, patient, and loving man, as Dr. Patel would know, if he ever asked, not that he will, but just in case.

Although, I dare say, that if he were to ask his daughter, she would describe me as a completely opposite man. Not only did my plan to slowly ease her into trusting me fail, but in a fit of rage, I also snapped at her. Her tear-ridden face, in fact, fueled my rage even more, and now she was in this state. As I paced her room back and forth for the last few hours, I saw a beam of dawn seep into the room. I had made her hate me, or worse, she was scared of me, and I had no clue how to redeem myself. In fact, a dark, hideous part of me wanted to discipline her even more, to act cold and put her in line. The sadistic nature of my work had finally overtaken my little pouch of humanity, or was there any humanity to begin with? I had to make a plan; nothing for me worked unorganized without proper detailed steps. But when it came to her, all my plans were pushed out of the window. I didn’t know how to deal with her, how to love her, for me that feeling existed only in stupid romance genres, and I knew there is no ‘happily ever after.’

Sighing, I ruffled my hair. This girl, although sheltered her whole life, had been thrust into the scary world in the blink of an eye. The things she had learned the hard way were no way for a young lady like her to learn anything, yet there remained so many aspects of life she remained naive to. I bet for her, the real world looks like a rosy picture once she has money, but it’s never rosy enough until you have enough money, and that money somehow is never enough. I was entrusted with her for a reason; I can tell my mentor knew I would be the right one to guide her properly, and I had to, and I will. This one year, I’ll shape her to be someone who can face the world with bravery in her heart, not hatred like me.

“Yes,” I murmured to myself as I saw the sun climbing high the walls of the sky. “I need to guide her, to help her climb up…” A stir of sheets distracted my self-motivational talks as I looked at her. She stirred, and her lids fluttered as her cracked lips opened slightly. I watched her, unable to move all of a sudden, as she groaned in pain. “It hurts…” her voice, no more than a whisper, said. “Am I in heaven?”

The drugs were still in effect, causing her vision to be hazy. Slowly moving towards her, I replied in a soft voice, “No.”

A butterfly of unease fluttered in my abdomen as her glassy eyes looked at me, and she gave a smile I only thought angels could. She beckoned me closer, her weak hand calling me towards her with effort. Worried, I asked her, “Do you need anything?” I stood still next to her, and her weak arms strained to pull me into an embrace. Following her command, I did as she wished, reeling her feeble form carefully into my arms. She remained engulfed in my scent for a while, and I felt her hot breath and tears as she whispered in a timid voice, “Don’t leave me, mama.” Her pleading caused me to stiffen in shock, but then I cooed to her, “I won’t, moonpie,” as I slowly watched her fall back into a deep slumber. After making sure she was asleep, I checked her vitals to ensure they were proper before slumping down on a chair next to her. I sighed, pulling my scalp in frustration, as one fact had become certain to me: following my plan to the dot might be a tough road ahead.