“Would that be okay with you, Mio Tesoro?” Markus asked softly. I knew he wanted to be the one to be with me today, but, despite him comforting me right now, I am still upset with him because he clearly avoided answering the Dominic situation.

“It’ll be better than spending the day alone dealing with whatever the hell is going on with me right now…” I didn’t want to say a flat out yes, but I also knew saying no wasn’t an option.

“Alright. Then let’s get you off this bathroom floor and dressed.” Markus said.

“You seem to be in good hands now, I’m going to go ahead a leave for work. Call me if you need me. I don’t work late tonight, so if you come home, I’ll be here for you. I really hope your day gets better.” Manny said as Markus helped get me off the floor.

“Thanks, Manny.” I gave him a weak smile.

After Markus help shower me, which he assured me was only so he could make sure he was there if I had another panic attack, I was dressed and ready to spend a few hours with Roy. I’m one hundred percent sure he’ll take the chance at some point today to scold me for the way I treated Vincent this morning, but I was willing to deal with that bridge when we came to it. Before I left with Roy, Markus pulled me aside, out of ear shot from Roy.

“Owen, I’m sorry that I upset you earlier. And I’m sorry it looks like I’m hiding something from you. I promise there is absolutely nothing going on between me and Dominic that you need to worry about. But the reason he was at my house was a personal thing, that I’m not sure if he’s okay with me sharing. You are free to ask him about it.” He caressed my cheek gently, “And you’re right, I should have at the very least told you that he was at my house, rather than keep it from you. I’m sorry I made you feel insecure in our relationship. I never meant to make you feel as though you couldn’t trust me.” He told me. He tapped his forehead to mine.

“I’m sorry too. For being overly emotional. And for shouting at you.” I told him.

He gave a gentle chuckle, “I’ll let it slide for now. But after we figure out what’s going in your head, I won’t hesitate to punish you for raising your voice at me.” He said, grabbing my ass playfully. I gave a half laugh. He kissed my forehead. “Have a good day with Roy. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yes sir. You have a good day too.” I said, leaning up on my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

Markus left after that, and I went to where Roy was waiting patiently for me, “Okay where to, babysitter of mine?”

“I’m not babysitting you, I just want to talk to you. Seems like you’ve got a lot on your mind. I thought you could use a friend.” He corrected me.

We got into his truck, though honestly I was surprised he didn’t ride his motorcycle here, and he drove off without ever telling me exactly where he was taking me. We drove for around fifteen minutes, in complete silence, before he finally pulled into a parking lot. It was a beachside lot.

“Let’s go for a walk.” Roy said, getting out first. I wasn’t entirely sure where he’d brought us, but it was pretty.

“The anticipation of this talk is killing me. Can we just get it over with already?” I blurted out impatiently.

“Well. Then let me start with this. I understand you’re going through something right now, but I won’t stand for you walking all over Vincent. He went to your apartment in the middle of the night to make sure you were okay. He goes out of his way to take care of you, and the first thing you do to him in the morning is yell at him to leave. Owen, that’s not okay. You really hurt his feelings, and you need to apologize to him.” Roy scolded me. I saw this coming, but at least now he wasn’t yelling like he was when he was pounding on the front door.

“I will call him and apologize for how I treated him after he came over to take care of me. I know it should be him I explain this to, but the way I acted had nothing to do with him, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on him. I was mad at Markus about something… my own stupid insecurities.” I told Roy.

“Want to tell me about that?”

“Yesterday, after I left your apartment…” I paused, remember the embarrassing situation I’d been in with him and Vincent. I gathered enough courage to give a quick glance at Roy’s face, and he was incredibly red, I assumed from embarrassment. “After I left, I went to Markus, because I wanted to talk to him… and when I got to his house, Dominic was standing, shirtless, in the middle of Markus’s living room. The second I saw him, I ran back to my car and went home.” I gave him the less dramatic version than I’d shouted at Markus earlier.

“I’m sorry about what we did to you. We didn’t mean to scare you off like that.” Roy avoided looking at me now.

“I wasn’t scared, Roy. That’s not why I ran off like that.” I replied. I was watching Roy out of the corner of my eye to see any sort of reaction, though I nearly fell off one of the rocks we were climbing across because I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. Roy was quick to save me from falling.

“And the Dominic thing… did he talk to you about it?” The way Roy asked told me he knew something I didn’t.

“After clearly avoiding answering my questions about it, yes. Well… sort of. Just before we left, that’s what he was talking to me about. But he didn’t actually give me any answers about it, he just said enough to help ease my anger about it.”

“So, I’ll tell you this much. I know what’s going on with Dom, and you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Can you trust Markus and me on that?” Roy admitted to me.

“Neither of you have given me a reason not to trust you, but my issues with Dominic go beyond trust, and you and your history with him.”

“Has he ever done anything to you?!” Roy stopped abruptly, to look at me with sincere concern.

“No. Dominic hasn’t.” I told him.

“Then who?” Roy’s body was tense as he waited for my answer. I knew I’d eventually tell him, and Markus, and Vincent about the past… I wasn’t sure where to start. I felt like talking to Roy first was something I could take comfort in, knowing he wasn’t going to judge me for anything.

“Can we sit? I’m not nearly fit enough to continue walking across these mini mountains.” I said, sounding exasperated. He snorted out a laugh and nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go over there and sit.” He pointed toward a collection of massive rocks that were further away from the splashing waves. When we sat down, we were quiet for a moment, while I gathered my thoughts.

“His name was Todd Holmes.” I said randomly. Roy looked at me, waiting for me to say more. I hadn’t yet figured out where I should start though.

“Is Todd the reason behind the nightmares?” Roy asked. I nodded. “And can you tell me what connection Dom has to all that?” He urged.

“Todd and Dominic look like clones of each other. I mean, same black-brown hair, same darkness of skin, same golden brown eyes that look really pretty in the sun light, and same overwhelmingly dazzling smile.” I looked out toward the ocean as I remembered all the similarities between Todd and Dominic.

“Is Todd and ex-boyfriend?” Roy prodded for more.

“No, not technically. Though, I’m sure if you asked him, he’d probably tell you something different.” I stated, annoyed at the memory of Todd’s delusional thinking.

“Do you want to tell me about what happened?” Roy asked, probably not fully understanding the pandora’s box he was trying to pry open.

“I was sexually assaulted multiple times in high school after it came out that I was gay.” I stated without beating around the bush anymore.

“Owen…” Roy’s voice cracked with empathy… or heartbreak maybe.

“When I was growing up, I was never sure if I was gay, or bi, or what. I thought girls were pretty, so I thought that meant I was straight. But in high school, I found myself being far more sexually attracted to guys, and that’s when I realized I was gay. Todd was one of the only people I told I was gay in the beginning. I trusted him. I was a naïve kid. He made the first move. And since I was already crushing on him, I thought ‘what the hell, why not’ and let him kiss me.” I struggled to recant the past.

“And he broke your trust not long after that?” Roy gathered.

“It was that very same day. Well, to be more specific, it was mere seconds later. My parents came home early that day, and found him kissing me. Well… having grown up in a bible belt small town, it didn’t exactly bode well for me. My parents went crazy with rage. Todd was afraid of what the repercussions of being outted might do for him, so he told his parents it was me who initiated, and that he was trying to push me off.” I paused… it only gets worse from there.

“What a dick. High school boy or not, that’s pretty screwed up.” Roy huffed angerly.

“Yeah, well, that was probably the least dickish thing he did to me.” I retorted.

“What else did he do to you?” Roy sounded like a protective older brother now.

“That happened my freshman year. After that, he started spreading horrible rumors about me. Mostly making me out to look like some sort of whore. His buddies on the football team would harass me. One guy, who I still couldn’t even tell you his name because I didn’t know who he was, took things too far… I was lucky I had Lewis.” I definitely needed to call him…

“Who’s Lewis?”

“He’s basically my savior. My parents kicked me out after they found out I was gay, and Lewis’s family took me in. He’s my best friend from back home.”

“And the stranger who took things too far… what exactly is ‘too far’?” Roy seemingly begrudgingly asked. It was like he wanted to know, but he was afraid of the answer.

“Can I just leave it at, if Lewis hadn’t walked into the locker room when he did, I probably wouldn’t have been a virgin when I met Markus…” It was both vague enough, and enough information to get the point across so I didn’t have to spell it out word for word.

“Did you report him to the authorities? Or hell, even your teachers?” Roy asked.

“And tell them what, Roy? I was one of two openly gay kids in the whole town. If I tried to report anything, I would just be told ‘it was probably you who initiated it, and he just fell for your demonic charms. That poor boy must have been so scared not knowing how to escape a sinner like you.’ You only have to ask for help one time to realize nobody cares about the crimes against gays in a small, bible thumping town. It’s always the gay persons fault if he was harassed, assaulted, or worse.” I had tried to ask for help from a teacher once. The teacher out right told me I was probably begging for it anyway. I never asked for help again, because I knew I wouldn’t get it from anyone besides Lewis and his family.

“God, Owen. I’m sorry you went through something like that. I know it doesn’t change anything now, but I wish I could have met you back then, to keep you from ever having to deal with the fears of religious people and the crimes of those bastards. You’re the most amazing guy, I don’t know how anyone could ever hurt you like that.”

I let out a sigh. I wish I had known Roy, and Vincent, and Markus sooner too. Maybe my teenage years wouldn’t have been absolute hell.

“Yeah, well… I’m here now.” I sighed again. I was tired of talking about it now. But I knew it wasn’t over yet.

“Did Todd ever try to do anything to you?” Roy asked.

“Of course he did. And when he found out about what that kid did to me, he put that kid in the hospital for months.” I told him. Todd was terrifying when he was angry. At least to people smaller than him. “It was only because that guy tried to deflower what ‘belonged’ to him. In Todd’s eyes, I was his property, even when he was dating and fucking half the female population at our school. As long as no one had me but him. Todd was no better than that guy though. Only difference is he never tried to actually rape me. But that doesn’t mean what he did do to me wasn’t just as terrible.”

Roy seemed to be at a loss for words now.