Owen POV

I was sitting in the small waiting room at my doctor’s office, waiting to finally be called to see the psychiatrist. I’d been sitting here for what felt like a millennium already. I don’t know why seeing Dominic shirtless in Markus’s house set off my night terrors when I’d never had a problem with them before. Maybe it was just that I was already in that panicky state, and feeling emotionally unstable. Either way, I promised Markus I’d seek a professional’s advice a couple weeks ago when this all started, so here I am.

Finally, a young nurse lady called my name for me to follow her to the doctors actual office room. She knocked on the door, and an ethereal, modulated voice told us to go in.

“Hello, how are you doing?” The doctor greeted me.

“Well, I’ve been better.” I stated, bluntly. The nurse left the room after handing the doctor my files. He did a quick glance through the file, but didn’t spend much time reading through it.

“Understandable,” the doctor gave a weak, humorless, half laugh, “So you think you’re having night terrors.” He said it like it wasn’t a question. “I read your file earlier, I have a few questions for you.” He stated.

“Okay.”

“On the questionnaire, you stated that you completely recall the entire even of your night terrors. Can you explain a little more?”

“Well, I was searching the internet for possible symptoms, and I kept seeing that most people don’t remember the events of their terrors. I do, or at least, I can recall the dreams. I’m not fully aware of my body actions until someone is trying to stop me from getting hurt, and ends up waking me up. But I know the dreams I’m having while my body is reacting in whatever way it is.” I tried to explain. I wasn’t really sure how in depth I should go, because I really didn’t want to recant those dreams.

“Alright. I’d like to have you do a sleep study, so we can fully understand what is going on. I’d also like you to start a sleep diary, keep track of the dreams that give you violent reactions, and have a friend or your partner tell you have you reacted physically and record that in you diary as well. I’m also going to recommend you seek a therapist who specializes in sleep terrors, just to start with. Once we know for sure, after the study, we can do more to help you. I do have one last question, because I didn’t see it anywhere in your file. Do you have a history of anxiety or depression?”

I took a minute to take in everything he said before finally answering, “Not anything I’ve ever been diagnosed with, but in high school I contemplated suicide at one point, due to the same things that are causing my night terrors or whatever they are. I don’t think I have anxiety, but I do find myself freaking out in certain situations like when someone bangs on the door suddenly and loudly, or when someone raises their voice at me unexpectedly, or even when I’m already experiencing high emotions and something sudden throughs it off.” I told him honestly, because I wanted him to have the most information possible to help me figure this out the best way he could.

“Alright, I’ll make a note of that. Now you can do a home study, the provider will mail you a little monitor and you’ll follow the instructions that come with it. Or you can go into a sleep study facility where they will most likely attach more monitors for an even more accurate study. If you do that option, which I suggest, it will be over night.” He told me.

“Um… I mean I do want the best results because I want to fix whatever is going on. So I can go in facility and do the study, if that’s what’s best.” I answered.

“Okay. Here’s a list of the clinic in the area. Figure out which one you’d prefer, and let me know. I’ll send them a referral for you. You’ll have to call them for any question about how they do the studies. Is there any other questions you have for me today?”

“I think for now, I just want to take the information you’ve given me and think it over. If I do find myself having more questions, I can call, or probably just ask the doctor who does my sleep study.” I answered feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of it. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure ‘night terror’ or ‘sleep terror’ was the correct term for whatever was going on in my head. I fully felt that it was a PTSD attack from my trauma. But I wanted to take the advice of the people around me who cared for me, hence the reason I was sitting in this doctor’s office right now.

“Alright, then I’ll see next time. You can check out with the front desk, and they’ll give you all the paperwork you need form this visit.”

“Okay, thanks.” I answered, admittedly awkwardly, because even at my age, I still wasn’t entirely sure how to say any sort of farewell to the doctor in the doctor’s office.

When I finally made it back to my apartment, Manny was waiting there expectantly. I decided the first thing I needed was something cold to drink, before I sat and talked to him about anything. So I poured myself a glass of cold premade Gatorade mix from our fridge.

“So…. Tell me what’s going on now.” He demanded after waiting a respectable amount of time while I downed the poorly mixed sports drink.

“I don’t really know myself. I would like to have a chance to talk to Markus about it, before I make any real decisions. Doctor said he suggests I get a sleep study done, so we can have some real answers about whatever it is that’s going on. But if I’m being honest, I don’t think what I have classifies as sleep terrors. Just a trauma response to a shitty situation I was put through.”

Recently, Manny and I had gotten a little closer. I still wasn’t keen on having my closest people here near him, because I knew he was a certain way, but in general his personality wasn’t actually terrible. He was actually quite caring and actually quite worried about my well-being. It made me feel better about coming home now. I wasn’t dreading having to deal with Manny, and I wasn’t dreading that he might have some new piece in his bed. I’ll admit, his curiosity of my relationship with Markus was raising my suspicions… but he was trying to be friends with me, so I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Well, it might not be sleep terrors, but a sleep study would still be beneficial to you. Maybe it’ll offer you a way to work through whatever it is that is happening.” Manny gave me a sincere smile.

“I was also told to keep a sleep diary. So on the nights I stay here, and something happens, can you write down exactly what you hear and see me doing for my diary? He told me that I should have anyone who witnesses it tell me what they see so that any therapist can have a better understanding of how to help me.”

“Sure, of course I’ll do that. Hey, can I ask you something about all this?”

“Um.. yeah?”

“Obviously if you don’t feel comfortable answering, I won’t push it, but can you tell me what all of this is coming from?” Manny was cautious, probably so he didn’t unintentionally offend me by being too curious.

“Oh… I guess I never did tell you about it. Um, I’ll leave it at I was unwillingly outted and harassed in high school. It got really serious. When these sort of over the top panic attacks started, it was when I was overly emotional about something the other day, and ended up seeing a guy who could be the literal twin of the ring leader of my tormentors.” I answered enough to enlighten him, but I didn’t want to divulge the entirety of it to him, because again, I was still weary of him.

I was unexpectedly pulled into I tight embrace, “Oh honey, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Nobody should ever be outted before they’re ready to come out themselves. And to be harassed because of it. I’ve always been in Cali, so it’s a little more accepting out here, I’ve never personally been through it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sympathize for my people who have.” Manny wasn’t really comforting me, but I understood that he didn’t mean to be rude, it was just his way of relating.

When he finally released me from his hold, I told him I needed to go pack a bag because I had planned to stay the night with Markus tonight. Manny told me he’d take this chance to have a guy over since it’d been a while for him. I’m pretty sure it’s been less than a week… but I won’t judge to hard, because he’s been so good at respecting my boundaries about having strangers over since the start of these weird panic attacks or night terrors or whatever this is. It wasn’t that I was uncomfortable near strange men, I mean, not any more than the next guy, but I didn’t want to freak out any random guy who happened to be getting my roommates rocks off in the next room over.

As I was packing a few things in my bag, I saw the bag full of all of my new, unused lingerie that Vincent and I went shopping for what feels ages ago, I just never got around to wearing it. Honestly, after the hellish week I’ve had with these stupid memories coming back to haunt me, I needed a fun release. And teasing Markus, which would absolutely end with him claiming me over and over again, sounded like the perfect way to have fun. So I pulled out the all-white set. It consisted of a lace, strappy bralette that scooped just below my collar bone, a matching thong that was only lace over the groin and strappy everywhere else, and a matching garter belt that was made up of four triangles of lace and the strappy bit that wraps around my thighs. Vincent had told me that I could pair this with a pair of white sheer thigh high socks – which he so kindly made sure we got a pair – to complete the whole ensemble. I also prepared a special surprise for Markus. After everything was on, I pulled on my cream colored pants, and a cute blue knitted shirt, and tamed my messy hair a little more. I liked looking nice for Markus.

“Alright, I’m headed out. I probably won’t be back for a few days. Same as usual.” I waved bye to Manny as I headed toward the door.

“Have fun. Relax. Enjoy your safe space. I’ll see you when you come home. Oh, hey, warn me when you’re headed back, that way I can kick out anyone I might have over.” He replied.

“Manny, I appreciate you going out of your way to make me comfortable, but it’s really okay to have your one night stands over. I mean, I might spook them, which isn’t exactly something I’m aiming to do, but this is your place too.” I stopped so I could turn to face him, “Anyway, I’ll still send you a heads up. I’ll see you later.”  And with that I left the apartment and made my way to Markus’s place.

I walked into Markus’s house, which was oddly quiet. He usually had some sort of music playing softly for background noise while he was doing whatever. But not this time. Maybe he wasn’t home from work yet, or maybe he ran back out to get stuff for dinner tonight.

“Papa!?” I called out somewhat loudly, but not so loudly that the sound of my own voice would hurt my ears as it echoed through.

“Yes?” Markus’s warm, deep, rustic voice was low and right in my ear. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I yelped.

“DON’T DO THAT!” I shouted at him, this time my echoing, shrill voice in the house was too sharp off the walls and my ears ached from the loudness in the foyer.

“I’m sorry, Mio Tesoro. I didn’t realize you didn’t hear me walk up behind you… though in hind sight, considering you called out for me, I should have realized that.” He gave me a wry smile. I glowered at him. “Awe come on, sweetheart, I really am sorry for scaring you. Please don’t be mad at me.” He held up a mess of leather and chains as if that were his way to make it up to me.

I squinted my eyes at him even more, “Is that supposed to be like your version of a ‘forgive me’ gift? Because that’s a you gift, not a me gift.” I sassed him, setting my bag down on the foyer table.

Markus pulled me into his arms, wrapping his arms around my waist, and started kissing my neck.

“Then what’s a you gift, Mio Tesoro?” He asked as the kisses were moving up just below my jaw. He moved his hand up my back to press my body into his more, but stopped moving them once his hand ran over the back of my bralette. He gave me a curious look the pulled at the collar of my shirt to peek down it. His entire demeanor became much more domineering.

“Strip.” He ordered immediately. I could feel the stirrings of his bulge coming alive. I tried to hide my smirk, because I knew my plan was working, even if it wasn’t going how I wanted it to go.

I effortlessly pulled my shirt off and folded it neatly to set it next to my bag. Then my shoes, then, ever so tantalizingly slow, I unbuttoned my pants, unzipped then, and slowly pulled them down past my hips until they were loose enough to fall to the floor in a puddle of fabric at my feet. I stood before Markus in nothing but the lingerie ensemble I’d prepared, watching his hungry eyes devour every inch of my body. He made a gesture with his hand to tell me to turn for him, so I did.

“Fuck, Mio Tesoro,” Markus groaned as my ass came into his view, “Bend over the table right now.” He demanded.

Again, I did as I was told, exposing the plug I’d put in while I was getting ready.

“I have half a mind to fuck you right here and now until you pass out.” Markus’s voice was deep, and sultry, “but I’ll exercise restraint long enough to get you in the dungeon. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t make you a needy little mess right here, as punishment for deliberately teasing me like this.” By the end of that, he was standing right behind me, pressing his clothed erection against the plug in my ass as he leaned over so that his breath was warm against my ear.

My body gave an involuntary shiver at the warmth he was giving off. I was definitely excited for this. I was desperate for this. His hands grabbed my hips firmly, sending more butterflies of excitement through my entire body. I loved the way his large hands touched my body. A small hum of a moan slipped past my lips, making Markus chuckle softly.

“Already feeling needy? I haven’t even done anything yet.” I could hear the self-righteous tone in his voice. It was a common tone when he was taking on this dominating personality of his. It was kind of sexy in a weird, I-like-being-dominated, kind of way.

Markus physically turned me to face him, and lifted my chin to make me look at him. I don’t really know what I was expecting, maybe more dominating words, maybe more orders, but for some reason him kissing me caught me off guard a little bit. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely melted into the kiss. But the sweetness of the kiss is what threw me off. I wasn’t expecting sweetness. His hands cupped my face, his body pressed against mine, making me lean back into the table I was just bent over. I gripped onto the edge of the table to keep my balance.

When he finally pulled away to take a breath, his eyes bored into mine, “I love you Owen, so god damned much.”