With one eye, Cynthia read the note Ted had given her that night, while she rubbed the mascara clumps from the other. She and Tabby were walking downtown, looking out for demons and cryptids that they were tasked to kill off. Ted seemed to get more upset about them every day that passed--he told his cult about how there were demons roaming the streets harassing and traumatizing the townspeople, which was supposed to be his job only. So he urged them once again to kill the demons, which would send them back to hell where they came from, and hopefully Satan wouldn’t send them back. But he knew that Cynthia and Tabby had been working to achieve their first real murder, so he gave them a note with some descriptions of demons he’d seen--like giant spiders and wolves with spiraling horns and slashing tails. But it was hard to look for looming, dark figures when it was pitch black outside, and both of the girls were tired and cold. 

“Are you sure we should kill these demons? I don’t want to disappoint Ted, but…I just…I just think that all demons are pretty cool,” Tabby said worriedly, her hands deep in her pockets.

“It’s not about Ted, Tabby,” Cynthia said. “He’s not the one busting his ass on the streets committing crimes. We’re the bad guys--and he’s just, you know, a guy.”

“Cindy, don’t say that! You know he can hear you, right?”

“Yeah, he tells us all the time…” Cynthia scratched at her belly button piercing, feeling the metal becoming cold. “What’s he gonna do, kill us? I’m not wrong.”

“But Ted’s a demon. Obviously he did something bad to get there.”

“Well, there are millions of demons in hell. He’s not special. There are probably way worse people in hell. Like Hitler, or…or my grandma, or--”

“But he told us he’s the King of Hell. He’s, like, gotta be the worst one then, right?”

“Tabby, we saw Satan. Ted’s not Satan. He was terrified of him. And Satan was like, way cooler. His boobs were massive.”

“I--I know. I just don’t want to kill other demons, because…we worship Ted because he’s a demon, so what’s the difference with the rest of them? Why can’t we worship all the demons? They’re all cool and evil and stuff.”

“I don’t know. I guess the other demons don’t start cults revolving around themselves. They’re, like, civilian demons.”

They both paused when they heard a low growl pulsating from the nearby brush. It wasn’t the typical growl of someone’s pitbull or a skunk in the woods--it was so deep that they felt it through the ground, and it made their ears ring. They looked at each other, eyes wide in fear, before Cynthia hesitantly gestured for them to check it out, and yield their weapons. She walked towards the sound first, Tabby following close behind, still worried.

Approaching slowly, Cynthia’s heart started to reach her throat, a cold sweat across her ghost white foundation, and she gripped her knife tighter with every step. She started to make out a bright white light shining between the branches and leaves, but it wasn’t shaped like eyes. She couldn’t even imagine what kind of monster was waiting for them behind the brush, one that had such a horrible growl--what if she wasn’t able to take it? What if it hurt Tabby?

As she got closer, she could finally see two furry ears sticking out from behind the bushes, and the light was shaped like a square, illuminating the long snout of a wolf-like creature. But it was holding something in its hands, with thumbs and fingers, and its legs stuck straight out under it as if it were bipedal. It seemed to notice they were there, but didn’t want to interact, as it turned away and hunched its shoulders over the light it was holding. Cynthia and Tabby peered over its head seeing its yellow and green colorblock hoodie, tattered black jeans and dirty old sneakers. They noticed it had been holding a handheld video game system, and was playing a racing game. 

“Hello?” Tabby said, her fear seeming to turn off at the sight of the video game. “Are you a demon?”

“No, I’m a person,” the creature replied in a low, raspy voice. Cynthia and Tabby glanced at each other, confused.

“Can we talk to you?” Cynthia asked. The demon pulled his hood over his head, shoving his perked ears over its face.

“No,” he said. 

“We’re friends,” Tabby said, starting to smile, as she quietly put her knife away. Cynthia did the same, thinking maybe it’d draw the demon out so they could eventually attack…

“I don’t care. I’m not your friend. Leave me alone,” the demon said. 

“You like racing games?” Tabby asked. The demon turned the console off, shoving it into his pocket as he stood, towering over the two girls at what Cynthia assumed was over seven feet tall. His ears tilted downwards, the silver hoops piercing them flickering in the light of his red eyes. He stepped over the brush obscuring him and approached the girls, his clawed fists balled at his sides. His tail was still and frayed, stuck between his legs.

“I don’t know who sent you here, but if you don’t leave now, I’ll send you down to where I came from. Understand?” he said.

“We’re friends, really. We’re not gonna hurt you,” Tabby smiled up at him, holding her hand in front of her like an offering. She seemed to sense that he was afraid, and she knew why, but she also knew what would put him at ease. Cynthia looked at her, figuring her cutesy-happy-friendly charade was just to lure the demon out from the woods. Although, she did it so much that Cynthia was starting to think she wasn’t being fake at all.

The demon looked at Tabby’s hand, curling his lip in disgust, flashing his canine fangs at her. But after a few moments of thinking, he took her hand between two paw-pads, and gave it one simple shake. “I’m Tabitha O’Malley,” she said, still smiling, “but you can call me Tabby. What’s your name?”

“Carnage,” the demon replied, his hard expression softening for a moment. “Constantine.”

“Your name’s Carnage?” Cynthia said. Carnage turned his head and glared down at her.

“It’s not my real name,” he replied.

“Then what is?” Cynthia narrowed her eyes. Carnage glanced between the two girls, backing away from them again as he ground his teeth in irritation.

“What is this about? Are you with the cops or something? It’s none of your business,” he said. Tabby took his hands again, to which he grimaced but didn’t pull away.

“Don’t worry. Cynthia’s just trying to make small talk. You know, I know a place where you can play lots of racing games on big screens with real wheels and gas pedals, and I have the keys to get in,” Tabby said, her smile widening. Carnage’s eyes seemed to lighten, his ears and tail perking up as he leaned in closer to listen.

“Yeah? Where’s that?” he asked.

“The arcade downtown. I work there. Have you seen it? It’s called Laser Rocket and it has all these neon lights and cardboard cutouts of astronauts and aliens. And it’s connected to the bowling alley so I can get in there too. We can play the games for free and make chicken strips in the microwave and go bowling and play music with swear words over the speakers.”

Carnage’s tail started to wag now, and he seemed to be repressing a smile. “Really? You would take me there?” he said.

“Of course! We can play for as long as you want. Or at least until my boss shows up in the morning.”

“You would do that for me?”

“Dude, you know if you like racing so much, we could just go out to the country and see how fast my car can go,” Cynthia chimed in. Carnage’s eyes widened, his excited smile proving to be even stronger than he was. 

“You would let me drive your car?” he said. Cynthia nodded. He grinned to himself, pumping his fists, his tail wagging back and forth so fast that it brought his whole body with it. “That sounds awesome. You know, we don’t have cars in hell. If there’s one reason I’d stay on earth, it’s so that I can drive a car. I’d always wanted to race when I was a kid. Cars are crazy cool. I would love to drive your car,” he said. Tabby bounced on her heels, finding Carnage’s excitement contagious.

“Yay! New friend!” Tabby said, before grabbing Carnage’s hand and leading him back to Cynthia’s parked Hearse.