What was I…
I opened my eyes slowly and was greeted by the bright light of the opened windows. It was a room I was familiar with, but not my own.
I slowly looked around and found that someone was lying beside me. Louis was sleeping there peacefully.
I couldn’t help but stare at him since it has been a long time since I last saw Louis’s face. But this time, I made sure to remember so that I wouldn’t forget, and thanked the Goddess for giving me such a blessing.
I brushed Louis’s hair away from his face, but it must’ve woken him up as his long lashes fluttered open.
I swear, he might be my brother, but he’s just too beautiful for this world.
He stared at me, perhaps trying to collect his thoughts when he blinked. He blinked again before breaking into a cheerful smile.
“Cena, you’re awake!”
He then wrapped his arms around me for a warm morning hug.
I was startled since it has been a while since anyone had been so affectionate towards me, but I quickly recovered and hugged back.
It’s warm.
“You’ve been asleep for a long time. Do you know how worried I was?”
Louis pouted with a worried look on his eyes. I merely smiled.
“It’s strange to be sleeping in a dream.”
Louis furrowed his brow and said seriously.
“This isn’t a dream.”
“Then is it the afterlife?”
I played along with a smile, but Louis quickly denied.
“No.”
“If this is not a dream or the afterlife, then how can you exist here like this?”
I said as I played with his hair, but Louis displayed a sad expression instead.
“That’s because the Goddess…”
“Well, since it came to this anyway, I ought to enjoy it while it lasts – ah!”
“Cena!”
I tried to sit up but felt immense pain throughout my body instead. Louis cried in worry, then began his nagging as he helped me sit up.
“You shouldn’t force yourself up yet. You were unconscious for two weeks, you know. But even if that wasn’t the case, you still ended up with a very bad fever so you ought to know to be careful, seriously.”
Before, I would be annoyed with such nagging, but this time, I couldn’t help but giggle and smile.
I missed Louis a lot. That much was obvious.
I missed little moments like these where the two of us were together.
Louis was confused when I started laughing out of nowhere. Laughing was painful in my current condition, but I didn’t mind.
I heaved and coughed as I struggled to get myself back together. And when I was calm enough, Louis handed me a cup of water to drink.
“What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”
Instead of answering him, I held his hands with all the strength I could muster and whispered.
“Don’t leave me ever again, Louis.”
If this was a dream, I never want to wake up again.
If we could stay like this forever….I’m willing to do anything. Anything, just….
Don’t take him away from me.
Although I have little no faith towards the Goddess, I desperately prayed.
“Cena…”
Louis softly called out my name and brought me into a gentle embrace.
“It’s alright. This time, we’ll always be together.”
Rationally, I didn’t believe it. After all, if wishes are things that could come true, then our lives wouldn't have gone the way it did. And anyone’s promise cannot be trusted. Even if the person who made that promise was my very own twin brother.
However, perhaps the twelve year old me desperately needed that consolation. I felt the pain and anguish of several years sharply inside my chest. And the longing I had but gave up upon burst out in an uncontrollable stream of tears.
All I wanted was to be loved. To live a peaceful and happy life with my family.
Was it that hard to ask?
I don’t know for how long I cried, but I cried until I passed out. Louis stayed by my side the entire time and quietly consoled me with gentle pats.
I lost faith long ago. But strangely, ever since I woke up in this dream, I kept finding myself praying and begging to the Goddess I loathed.
Perhaps this was just another game she made to laugh at me. Still…despite all that, I still wish that this dream is true.
***
The month after that was spent with me trying to recover. Louis stayed by my side for the entire time and took care of me. During that period as well, Louis adamantly convinced me that the Goddess had turned back time and that it was indeed not a dream like I first thought. For whatever reason? I can’t say. The Goddess had always been rather hard to comprehend.
The Ether in my body was the same before I died previously. I also retained all my memories, and all the things I learned including Holy Magic. Only my physical form was reverted to my younger self, which meant that my life is currently in great danger.
Ether is a natural energy that exists everywhere in the air and inside the body of living creatures. Blessed Ether, or Ether that was touched by the Goddess’s divinity is what Priest and Holy Knights typically have. Mages too, also have their own Ether, but they refer to it as Mana.
My illness sprouts from the fact that I was born with an absurd amount of Ether that transcends what mortals could normally have. As such, my Ether tends to overflow and cause damage to my body. And whenever I get sick, the Ether inside my body would grow chaotic, causing me to literally tread between life and death whenever it happens.
Furthermore, my Ether is unique because it continues to grow. Whereas an ordinary human would only contain a certain amount of Ether since birth, deciding their potential. While for anyone, growing Ether is a good thing, in my case, it’s only a ticking time bomb. Because the more Ether one has, the harder it is to control.
My body is already weak from birth and it only grew worse in time. And now it is further weakened due to the effects of turning back time. That pathetically weak body right now is containing an even more absurd amount of Ether, that if it ever grows completely out of control, could probably eradicate half of the entire world.
I did destroy the world once before.
But basically, right now, I could die at any moment from exploding with my own Ether while also blowing off half of the world with me.
It’s a ridiculous situation that I don’t even know what to say.
Curse that Goddess! It’s all her fault!
In any case, I have to come up with a solution soon or I’m doomed.
While I was thinking that, Louis asked, placing down a platter of cookies in front of me.
“I bought some chocolate chip cookies. Would you like some?”
As ridiculous as the situation was, I couldn’t hate it. Had the Goddess sent me to a time where my family no longer existed, I wouldn’t mind just dropping dead and destroying the world again while I’m at it.
However…
I carefully took a bite of one of the cookies.
“I should probably live, right?”
“Hmm? Did you say something?”
“Huh? No, it's nothing.”
It’s sweet.
I love sweets only because Louis was the one who gave them to me. The sweets he offers me are always the sweetest.
“Anyways, don’t you need to go back to the academy soon?”
I asked as Louis took a seat beside me. Around this time, he should be attending the Royal Academy where all children of nobility are required to join. It’s a boarding school where they only allow a few weeks of vacation each year. I was sure that Louis’s vacation ended a few weeks ago.
“Didn’t I tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“That I’m not going back there. I sent the Dean a letter informing him that I’m quitting.”
He said nonchalantly, as he laid down on the couch and opened a book.
“What?”
I almost dropped my cookie. Louis looked up at me in confusion, he asked.
“Why are you so surprised?”
He’s right, why am I so surprised? In fact, Louis only attended the Academy because he wanted to avoid me, and now that there’s no need for that, he probably found no other reason to continue.
Also, Louis just published a groundbreaking medical research in just 6 months since he began attending the academy. His other achievements include being ordained as an official Holy Knight at nine, and his musical and artistic pieces are worth millions of gold each. Moreso, Louis’s title as the Goddess’s Blessing is enough to transcend law itself.
As absurd as that may sound, it’s true. He is the “Goddess’s Blessing” after all.
So indeed, he had no reason to go.
“Do you want a cookie?”
I asked instead, making Louis’s face scrunch up in disgust.
“I don’t like sweets.”
“Alright.”
“No, give it to me.”
He ate it despite cringing at the sweetness of every bite. I merely smiled and relished the silence between us. It’s been a long while since I’ve been able to relax in peace.
“Cena.”
Louis spoke after a while.
“Yeah.”
“When are you going to tell me what happened?”
"Hmm?”
I tilted my head in confusion. Louis sighed and spoke after a bit of hesitation.
“...What happened after I died?”
“Huh?”
“..You’re not the same. I want to know what happened that made you that way.”
“What?”
The bombshell Louis dropped caused my mind to pause and grow blank.
Shitty Goddess what exactly did you do??
It was too much for me to comprehend what was going on.
Comments (2)
See all