I simply couldn't say no. But how could I say yes? My father disgusted me. He had been completely selfish. And worse, he used to adore that creature that was even worse than he was. 

I almost felt ashamed that I had held such hatred for my own parents. Had being alone in the world made me this cold? My father was making efforts now. Had he really changed? Or was he acting out of guilt? Weren't all people selfish? Always some hidden motive? 

My Aunt Lil wasn't selfish. She had always been selfless and caring even through all my rejection. Had I been just like my own parents? I couldn't stand that thought.

 No. It was different for me. 

My father was coming back later today to pick me up and take me to get my things, then we would head back to his place. Who knew how long I would have to stay there. But at least my aunt was alive. I was thankful for that. Now that I had finally started to let my walls down around her, the thought of leaving her side made me sick. She looked so frail and helpless laying there covered in scars and bruises.

"I want to stay with you," I spoke softly, still sitting by my aunt's bed. The words felt awkward out of my mouth. Sharing my thoughts and emotions still felt unnatural.

She reached her hand out to me, and I slowly took it. Touch was also foreign. Though her hand was so warm and comforting. What had I been missing all this time? 

"It will be okay, Avery. Just don't be so hard on your dad and maybe you can enjoy yourself. It will be good for the both of you." My aunt was so forgiving. I wished that I was more like her. For her sake, I could at least have a better attitude. After all she had done for me, I could at least do that much for her. "He finally got a job, and he's been making many new efforts. It won't be as bad as you think."

I nodded slowly, seeming to agree, though I hardly thought it could ever be possible. What if my aunt guilted my dad to take me in? Did he even want me with him? I hadn't felt so many emotions in my whole life. It left me with hardly half a brain.

It finally came time, and my dad's large body entered the room once again. His presence here was like a stick stuck in a bowl of cereal. It simply didn't belong. 

All was silent for a moment as I made eye contact with my aunt. Even that alone felt weird, but yet I didn't want to break the connection. 

She was in stable condition. I would see her again.

"You can visit whenever you want," she said with brave eyes.

I nodded, and we said our last goodbyes.

My dad stood, holding the door open for me. I forced my stubborn legs to move past him. As I walked by, I caught a whiff of his scent. It had a tinge of alcohol to it. 

My fist tightened. No, I don't think he had changed. And now I had to ride with this drunkard. What was my aunt thinking? How could she ever see good in people? People were never good.

It got even worse when in the elevator. It was just me and him standing there in silence. How was I ever going to live through this? I stared down at his old man shoes. His jeans were about one size too tight after a few years of gaining some extra pounds. His button up shirt, of course, wasn't tucked in or hardly even buttoned—I noticed at least two undone. And his hair was weeks past needing to be cut.

I could hardly bare being in the same room as him.

The torture continued as we walked through the hospital and into the car. I tried to tune my mind back to the fog that it was so familiar with. It was harder to do now. I had once hidden back into the stoic girl I had created myself. But now the real me was begging to break free with all those emotions and scars from the past. 

It was too messy. I would have to go back to the old girl to survive this. I needed to see Alexander.

"I'm glad she's okay," my dad finally said something as we drove to my aunt's house. "She's a good person."

Like you would even know what a good person was, I wanted to say but remained silent. My eyes stared straight into all the passing traffic and focused on anything but reality. I sat on the furthest part of the car seat from him. He didn't look at me either.

Once at the house, I felt a tad bit of relief as I bolted away to my room in seclusion. Everything inside of me wanted to drown in my bed for days till this all went away. Instead, I started packing clothes and other needed things such as drawing pads and pencils. 

I then saw, rejected on my closet floor, the pocket knife my dad had gotten me. As much as I hated where it came from, I grabbed it just in case my dad was crazier than I thought.

All was about ready, when I went to get Alexander. My dad's eyes widened as I started to load the bunny cage into the car.

"I didn't know about the rodent…"

"Bunnies aren't rodents," I almost could have yelled back but contained myself. He HAD to let me keep Alexander.

"Oh right… Well," he paused. I knew what was coming next as I cringed my eyes shut. "I don't think the rabbit is going to work. Don't you have someone that can watch it for now?"

"No. No one at all," I answered, slamming the car door shut after jamming in the cage.

"It's just I moved into a new apartment, and it's absolutely no pets allowed."

"That's for dumb, drooly dogs that poop on the carpet and terrorize the world with fleas and filth. Alexander is clean and perfect and besides, he stays in a cage," I pleaded my case as strongly as I could.

"I understand," he started. No you don't… "but…the owner is deathly allergic to animals and has a very strict rule."

I was already hating him even more. Was the only option to keep Alexander here? I hated the thought of having to ask my dad to drive me to the house every day to feed or even see him. And my poor baby fluff ball couldn't stay all alone.

"Are you sure there's no one to watch her?"

"Him," I corrected.

A thought of Donavon flashed in my mind. No, that was crazy. I hardly knew him. I couldn't ask him to watch Alexander. But which option was worse?

"Maybe there is someone, but I would have to ask."

I spent another few minutes putting Alexander's cage back, giving him extra food and water and holding him close for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Fuzzy, but it has to be this way. I'll come back as soon as I can."

I kissed his head and dragged myself back to the car. I sat stoic and motionless as we pulled back out. It seemed all that once comforted me was being stripped away. At least I could still draw.

We soon pulled up to an older house which had wooden, outside stairs leading to the small, upper apartment. This neighborhood was much more crowded than I was used to. Cars constantly passed by and kids played in micro yards. My aunt lived more secluded close to the farm where she worked. Thankfully, it was also close enough to walk to my school. But I couldn't walk there anymore. Take the bus? Yuck…   

"I can take that," my dad offered to carry my suitcase up the stairs. 

Don't try to be so nice, mister.

"No thanks."

I followed him up to the door which entered right into a small kitchen. Everything looked practically prehistoric from the stove to the microwave. Surprisingly, everything was clean.

He walked through the archway into a small living room. There was nothing in it but a futon and a desk. 

"This will be your room for now. We can put a sheet up for a door."

"Thanks," I forced out.

He quickly left to go to his own room. The place was filled with the smell of new carpet which Iiked. I tossed my suitcase and drawing bag in the corner and lay on the floor.

It didn't take long to discover that there was only one bathroom—I would have to share with my dad. Life was only getting worse and worse. 

But there was something worse to come. I still had to ask Donavon about watching Alexander. I could only imagine him saying no and being humiliated that I even talked to him. The battle was: call him on the phone, or face him at school… Either sounded like suicide.

Donavon was still at school, so I took a nap.

~*~

For some reason, calling him on the phone sounded less dreadful than talking in person, and I didn't want to wait until tomorrow. Looking his name up, I was surprised to find a number. Who had a home phone these days?

I stared at the number a good minute before putting it in my phone. My thumb froze hovering over the send button. Why was this so scary? I didn't want him to get any ideas from this. And what would this mean for me visiting Alexander? Or Donavon… Ugh ugh ugh ugh!

My thumb pressed send without thinking about it. I couldn't think too hard about this, or I would never do it. 

Ring….ring….ring….

"Hello?" A female voice answered.

"Uh…hey…is um…Donavon there?"

"Oh," the voice sounded surprised, "yeah, hold on. And who is calling?"

"Just a…friend from school." I wanted to smack myself.

"Oh, okay… Hold on."

The beating of my heart could have beaten a war drum in a contest. I started to pace around the room.

"Hello?"

I froze at his voice for a moment.

"Are you allowed pets where you live?"

"Uh, sure… Who is this?"

"Do you like bunnies of high class?"

"Avery?"

"Just answer the question!"

He chuckled. "So you say you don't want to talk to me and now we're friends? At least according to what my mom said." I wanted to smack myself again at my poor word choice.

"Whatever, skater boy. I'm calling on strict business only." I had attempted to sit down but now was pacing once again without thinking about it.

"Okay, so what about this bunny of yours?"

"I need someone to bunny sit Alexander for a little."

"Ooo-kay… Can I ask why?"

"No."

"Alright, I'll ask my mom and give you a call back."

"Okay, bye."

"Wait…" A pause. "Why weren't you at school? Is everything okay?" I couldn't answer him. He couldn't get tangled in my personal life. "You won't say will you?... Okay…talk to you later then."

I hung up. I shouldn't have been so rude. What if he changed his mind? I didn't want to think about any of this, so I started drawing bunnies.

Only ten minutes later, my phone rang. 

"Hi," I answered stiffly.

"My mom gave the okay."

"Really?" Was it really this easy? Panic started to sink in. What if this was a horrible idea? What if Alexander doesn't get treated right? These were practically strangers.

"Yeah, I can pick Alexander up tonight if you want?"

I appreciated how he called him by name. I banged my head a few times lightly on the wall before answering.

"Uh…okay." This would mean that I would have to see him tonight. Ugh… But it wouldn't hurt to get the chance to get to know him more just to make sure he wasn't some crazy, maniac bunny killer. I gave him the address to my dad's apartment as well as my aunt's house.

"I'll see you soon, Avery."

He didn't have to use my name…

My father was still in his room, so I left a note just in case. I didn't want him to get all freaked out and scare my aunt or anything.

The air was starting to cool outside. Unfortunately, waiting gave me way too much time for my mind to race and freak myself out. But I couldn't undo the past now.

My face got hotter as Donavon pulled up in a black car. He jumped out quickly and opened the passenger door for me. He didn't say a word, but it seemed to be out of politeness. His car had a pleasant scent to it. I focused my attention on my aunt. I felt bad that she had to be alone.

"Avery," he spoke so softly, "if you want to keep your secrets, then that's fine, but I just want to know if you're okay? I have been wondering for days."

"I'm quite fine, thanks." Did he really care that much about me? Or was I just some freak he wanted to figure out?

He glanced at me from time to time. I wished that he would just keep his focus on the road and not get us both killed.

"So you're not living with your aunt anymore?" He pronounced it like "ant" and not "awnt". 

I almost laughed loudly.

"What's so funny?"

"Ant?? Those live in the ground. Of course, I don't live with those."

He started to laugh. "You know what I mean! Show me mercy; I'm from the west!"

To my amazement, I slightly laughed with him, and for one short moment, I forgot that I was in a car with a stranger, lived with a drunkard, had my aunt in the hospital, and had to be separated from my amazing bunny. 

I turned slightly to Donavon who had a look of wonderment on his face as if something significant took place. I quickly turned back to my emo window.

We soon pulled up to my aunt's house, and I showed him the way to the bunny cage.

"Wow," he said, kneeling down at the cage, "he's so fluffy! Hey Alexander, what's up, buddy?" Donavon reached his finger to pet Alexander's side. "I promise to take good care of him," He said, looking up at me. "I am honored to care for such a great bunny as him. He is of the highest class after all."

I silently stared down helplessly. It was impossible not to, at least a little bit, admire his sensitivity to animals. But this didn't mean that I liked him. He was only seemingly a little better than most guys. My mind was already made up to not let any attachment be made. 

I carried Alexander while he carried the cage to his car. We were then back on our way to his house while I had the fuzz ball on my lap. Stroking his soft fur relaxed me somewhat. It was hard to imagine being apart from him even one day.

"So who are you living with now?" He asked. I wished he hadn't brought it back up.

"My dad." I didn't want to say, but after all, he had been really nice and was doing me a huge favor.

"Oh…I always assumed...well...you know… So…what happened with your aunt then?"

"She's in the hospital. Car accident. She's okay though, so it's only temporary."

"Wow, that's crazy. I'm so sorry. I'm really glad she's fine." His voice carried true concern. "You and her must be pretty close."

I didn't say anything to that. "Anyway, so you won't have Alexander for long."  

"That's too bad, cause I'm already liking the little guy," he said, reaching his hand over to give him a quick pet as he smiled at me. On the way back to the steering wheel, the side of his hand slightly brushed my arm. 

My eyes froze for a moment as did my thoughts. You trying to win me through your smooth talk? Well, give it up skater boy.