Once class ended, I bolted out of the room and out of the high school and found a grassy, lone area to hide away till lunch was over. Thankfully, I didn't have any more classes with Donavon in them, so I could possibly avoid him the rest of the day. I knew that I owed him for having been so nice and taking care of Alexander, but that meant I needed to protect Donavon.

The sun warmed my skin, but inside, somehow, still felt cold. Being alone, all of a sudden, felt lonely. I desperately wanted to see my aunt. Perhaps my dad could drive me to see her after school.

I forced my focus onto my surroundings such as birds flying and cars driving by. Time couldn't have moved any slower as I tried to convince myself that being alone was much better than sitting by Donavon at a noisy table. It didn't help that my phone kept on being sabotaged with worry texts from Donavon. I ignored them all and turned my phone off.

The hour passed, and I took my leave to sneak to the next class. So far, my stealth skills won out, and I didn't see Donavon for the rest of the day. I called my dad, and he picked me up from school.

For the first time, being in the car with my dad didn't bring me to annoyance. It was, however, still uncomfortable, especially after that intense emotional blowup from my near death experience and his freak out…and now…we sat, just us two stoic people who wouldn't dare share one feeling or thought or acknowledge the awkward truth. Apparently, I was more like my dad than I thought.       

We finally pulled up to the hospital.

"If it's okay," I said, "I would like some time alone with her."

"That's fine. I will just stay here," he answered.

I nodded my thanks then hurried through the hospital hallways. 

My aunt immediately smiled brightly upon seeing me and waved for me to come over as I entered.

"Hey, Sweetie," she patted the side of her bed for me to sit. I got on the edge and couldn't help but smile back. She looked so glowy even in a hospital bed and attractive without makeup.

"Well, how is everything?" She asked.

"Pleeeease tell me that you get to come home soon." I pleaded.

She gave a sympathetic look and patted my arm—that same comforting touch. "Is it all that bad?"

"Let's just say that a little gravity would be nice." I half laughed.

"Your father seems to think things are going well."

"What?! What did he tell you?" I questioned, wondering if he told her about my near death experience.

"Oh, not much. You know how your father is, he doesn't share a lot of information," she said. Basically, he sounded like me… So I think the secret was safe.   

Now came the time to decide what information I should leak over. "It is true to some degree. Things aren't going horribly with my dad. Maybe still a little weird, but I think you were right about giving him another chance. I see him…differently now." I was surprised at my own words, but my aunt seemed super pleased.

"I'm so glad you could see another side to him."

Sharing my thoughts felt more natural this time. Possibly even enjoyable? I almost wanted to share everything about Donavon, but there were some things that even I couldn't admit to myself. My attention then turned to a large bouquet of flowers on the stand by her bed.

"What's this?" I said curious as to who gave it to her.

"Oh, just flowers," she seemed to brush it off. Well that much was obvious.

I turned a small tag over to see a small note that read: Get better soon – Jeffery Willferd.

"Jeffery?" I questioned aloud. "Do you have a boyfriend, Aunt Lil?" I turned my head to her curiously.

She laughed, "No, of course not! It's just from a friend."

I wasn't so convinced. "Just friends don't give flowers. Who is this Jeffery guy?"

"He's just a consistent customer that buys milk from the farm."

My suspicions were deepening even more. He wasn't even a co-worker… "Just friends and just customers definitely do NOT just give nice, big flowers to a girl." 

I could see how a large number of men could easily fall in love with my aunt. She truly was terrific. What if it were true that she had never dated or married because of me? With time, maybe I could get to the bottom of this. I would never want to get in the way of my aunt's love life. Of course she deserved only the very best guy on all of earth and beyond.

"Tell me about Donavon," she changed the subject. I was hoping she wouldn't go there.

"Honestly, there isn't much to say. He is just a guy that is taking care of Alexander. Once you get back home, I plan to never see him again."

She took a moment to study me after my reply. "Really? Just a guy? Is that like just a friend and just a customer?"

I paused at her smart remark as I saw a sly smile on her face. "I'm sorry…I just don't want to talk about it."

In understanding, she gave my hand a squeeze. "It's okay. I know you are going through a lot."

That would have been an understatement. I nodded as if to thank her for her concern. She was the one here who was in a hospital, and it seemed everything turned into comforting me. That's how my aunt was though—never thinking about herself. I really wanted to be like her. I wanted her to know how much I cared.

I tried to think of something to say. "I hope you aren't getting too bored here."

"Me bored? Never!" she laughed. My aunt was always so positive.

"I do wish we could spend more time together," I admitted.

"Well, I'll tell you what, tomorrow they are going to run a few more tests, and if all goes well, I should be able to get out of here the following day."

I simply smiled back. Two more days… I could live through that.

"Just one thing. When I do get home, will you promise me that you will still spend time with your dad?"

I actually hadn't thought about what would happen with him when I didn't have to live with him anymore. Technically, I hadn't even spent any real time with him yet, even though I lived with him. Although not spoken, words had been passed. I think it was an understanding that my dad and I didn't hate each other.

"I promise. I should be going now. He's waiting in the car."

"How is she?" My dad asked once back in the car.

"She's doing good. She's Aunt Lil, she's always good."

My statement seemed to prick a little at my dad. He didn't start the car for a moment but stared at the steering-wheel then finally nodded.

As we drove home, my mind looped around to figure out how to attempt any kind of relationship with my dad. I had no clue about this stuff. We were both stiff in communication. And commutation was necessary for relationships right?

"So…how's your new job?" I tried to make small talk, almost feeling like the adult.

"Good," was all he answered back. 

There was no more talking the rest of the drive home, but I was alright with that. It was hard to imagine that only days ago, I couldn't even stand to be around my dad. All these years I assumed he didn't care about me at all. Had I really been wrong? 

My aunt had always said he lived in fear after my mother died. But was that really the only reason? I didn't want to think too hard about it. I had already decided to move on from the past and start fresh with the remainder of my life as it was.

Everything was feeling pretty good until we made it home, and I saw the familiar black car parked in the driveway. Donavon stepped out of his car door as he saw us approaching. He looked sterner than I had ever seen him. I started to feel dread along with guilt for not answering his texts. 

"Is that your friend?" My dad asked. "Or your…boyfriend?"

"No dad, I don't have a boyfriend. He's just my bunny sitter. I need to talk with him a moment, then I'll be right up."

He didn't question further and exited the car.

My dad was about to head inside, but Donavon stopped him. "Hello sir, are you Avery's dad?" Donavon held out his hand and gave him a firm shake as he introduced himself and started to make small talk. From inside the car, I watched helplessly.

No, punk! What do you think you're doing?

I caught most of what they said as they had a much longer conversation than I ever had with my dad. Donavon asked him many things about my dad's job and stuff I didn't even know about. Surprisingly, my dad seemed comfortable and even talkative. Lively in conversation, Donavon smiled and nodded at everything my dad said. Was Donavon just a nice guy interested in everyone or was he making sure that I didn't live with abusive people?

Finally, it seemed to connect to my dad's brain that I still existed. He shook Donavon's hand again and headed into the house.

I knew it was now my turn to step out of the car and have my talk with Donavon, but my body didn't seem to know how to move. Instead, he came to me and opened my door. I knew his gaze was intense on me, but I could only look forward at the dashboard.

"It's good to know that you're still alive…after all those unanswered texts." He kept standing by the door with his hand gripping the top of the car.

"What's it to you if I'm no longer living?" I said, still not looking at him. I wasn't sure why I asked that. Did I wonder why he seemed to care about me? Maybe… But did I actually want him to answer? Not really…

"Is it bad that I'm a bit concerned? Don't you think I have reason to? And I'm not just talking about my ignored texts."

"What, you mean like you think I'm bi-polar or something and need to be sent to an insane asylum because I suffer from split personality disorders? I know what you're thinking skater boy and you don't have a clue. If you think I have problems and am messed up and need to be saved then you are wrong. I needed a bunny sitter and that's it. I am in need of no other services." I started feeling shaky inside. These were the words of my old self, and they no longer felt comfortable to me. But no matter how much I didn't want to, I had to say more.

"I will be straight with you Mr. “I'm gonna save the world", once I get Alexander back, I do not want to see you anymore. I know I am weird and a freak, but I don't need saving. I don't have mental problems, and I haven't been abused. I just need you out of my face." I almost wanted to cry at this point, but I couldn't admit to myself that I did want Donavon in my life. My face kept gaining heat as I knew his gaze was full on me. 

"Maybe you're wrong, Avery. You say that I don't understand you, and this is true, but maybe you don't understand me either. I'm not trying to be anyone's savior. I like to help people when they need it, but I also like to be around people that I like." Was he trying to say that he liked me? "You're the most interesting person I have ever met. Not because you're weird. You're funny and unique. I would miss seeing you."

The knife in my gut dug even deeper. Why did it have to be like this? No…I had to be strong. But as much as I tried, I couldn't escape crying. Why had I become so attached to this guy? This time, I couldn't run, so I just hid my face in my hands, now living through the most humiliating moments of my life.

It was the most pathetic scene ever. I sobbed, and he stood looking at me. I knew he wasn't sure what to do at this point, but he wasn't going to leave me. Words definitely weren't going to come from me, and endless tears escaped my command. It was the most mixed up mesh of emotions to ever wreak havoc inside until my brains were rubbed raw.

Were his words true? Did he have genuine interest in me? Deep down I wanted to believe it all and know that he was different from all others. I had seen true selflessness in my aunt, so not everyone had to be selfish like I had once forced myself to believe.

"And just so you know," Donavon finally said something, "I don't think you have mental problems. You said that you were never abused, and I believe you, but perhaps a complex past."

I let silence remain once more. What was I to say?

He spoke again, "I'm sure our pasts are very different, but I understand what hurt feels like. I know what it's like to go in protective mode and not to trust others just because of what someone else did or didn't do. But I also know what it's like to let it go, forgive, and get over it. We can't always let what others do to us determine who we are."

Of course, all what he was saying was true. And a lot of this was what I was learning myself, but there was still so much he didn't know. And never could…

"Do you want to go for a drive?" he asked. "It's something I used to do a lot when I had a lot on my mind."

After a while, I finally lifted my head to nod. If my brain wasn't so frail, I probably would have had enough sense to say no, but my emotions gave in. I texted my dad letting him know I would be gone for a bit as we got in Donavon's car.

The outside motion around us seemed to bring me to a calm, still moment. Soft tears fell now and then, but somehow I felt relief. I wish I could tie together all the loose ends of my emotions and make sense of everything, but maybe it was just best to forget about the future for now. My aunt had acted like I should not take into account possible future disasters. Was she just a wishful thinker, or did she know something I didn't? 

After enough time of silence, my eyes finally dried, and I started to feel like such a jerk for having had been so rude to Donavon all those times. But somehow, it didn't seem to affect how he treated me, just as my aunt had been. 

How was I so fortunate to have all these caring people in my life? I wasn't even worth caring about, and I didn't deserve it at all. It made me want to cry all over again.

I wondered why Donavon had remained quiet so far. What was going through his head? How could he not think I was a horrible person? Or demented… How could he ever find me interesting even after how I had been all this time? I wanted to speak but didn't know how to start. I forced something out anyway.