Damien sat on the bench dazed.

He did not notice as the sun set nor notice as the cold crept in, his mind had wandered off somewhere to try and hide from the shock he had just gone through.

Only when an officer demanded that he leave did Damien walk to the train station in a daze, buy a ticket, and walk to his seat robotically.

Everything that happened in the morning seemed like a dream, the joy and happiness he felt seemed to have been all a sick joke and the punchline was the nightmare that he was going through right then.

His stop was the last and the station was empty but none of that mattered. Same as the job that would not be seeing him the next day or any other day after today, the contract be damned.

Did anything matter anymore?

He found himself outside the station looking out at the clustered homesteads in The Outskirts, his home, what was once Eve’s home.

But not anymore…now she had a new home with a new man and new children.

And Damien?

Damien was numb…the only thing he felt was nothing.

He knew he should be angry, pissed, livid. Throw something, kick something, SCREAM OUT!

But, he felt a strange calm washing over him.

Then he realized that a part of him always knew, it knew Eve left him, it has always known that she walked out on him and his children. That part had killed the hopeful part in him that was lying to him, the world seemed duller but his shoulders felt lighter.

Seeing her today just cemented what was only a feeling into a fact.

Resent her? Hate her?

No, he loved her too much to hate her, letting her go and all they had would be his present for her...no, Eve did not matter anymore, he would let her go and forget everything about her for himself.

By taking in a deep breath of the chilly night air he brought together all the feelings he had for Eve, the love, the hate, the bitterness the resentment, everything in that one deep breath. Then, in one long exhale he let them all out, releasing them into the world where they were no longer his problem.

He exhaled till his lungs were empty,  till he felt nothing for her. 

He was done with her, with them. 

It would take some time to forget her but he no longer felt anything for her and…that was progress.

“Goodbye, Eve.” He whispered into the night and walked away making his way home.

************************************************************

It had been three years since that night.

Life moved on and dragged Damien along till he got back on his feet and marched along with it.

It was hard to get there, nights passed where he cried himself to sleep, sobs choking him as they racked up and out of his body. Denial suffocated him begging him to run to Eve, casting doubt on what he saw with his own eyes.

The first months after that night were the worst, he barely ate or talked. His motivation was non-existent, the only thing that pushed him forward were his children Zion his oldest, and Ambrosia his youngest.

Every time the darkness dragged him down to its depths, their voices calling to him gave him the strength he needed to drag himself out. It was not much but it was enough to make Damien keep pushing on till he found reasons to live again.

Days turned to months then a year then another and as time did, it healed but it also decayed, Damien’s feelings for Eve eventually died and wilted never again to find space in his heart that was full of love for his children who had grown healthy.

Ambrosia had already turned five, her giggles and laugh filled their house at the crack of dawn.  Good sleep was one of the prices he had to pay for getting children, Damien thought to himself with a groan as he turned in his bed away from the giggles from the next room.

Waking up was no longer a choice, either he got up or Ambrosia burst into his room and onto his bed with no thought of his fragile bones. The last time she jumped on his bed to wake him up, she landed square on his dick and balls making him sit up with a loud groan. No longer sleepy and in pain he was about to snap at her but her toothy grin melted his anger away. He walked with a limp for the whole day ignoring his friends' snickers and jabs.

Between getting out of bed or having his balls scrambled… easy to pick a choice.

Damien sat on the edge of his bed, his feet planted on the floor he stretched out and up till he felt all the tension leave his body.

He scratched the mosquito bite on his chest, cussing at the resilient insect that survived even the monsters.

Just as he stood from his bed, his door flew open making him wince when it banged against the wall as it swung open.

“Sia! Stop banging on dad’s door.” Zion reprimanded following his sister into Damien’s room.

Ambrosia ignored her brother’s words running to Damien and hugging his legs while looking up at him with her wide smile.

“Morning daddy!” She chirped out as she stretched her hands out to him.

“Morning baby,” Damien replied with a chuckle, lifting his daughter and placing her into his arms accepting her wordless invitation to carry her.

“Morning Dad,” Zion greeted with a grumble.

“Morning Z,” Damien replied as he stretched out his hand to his son who accepted the invite and burrowed to his side wrapping his hands around Damien’s waist in a hug.

Damien then wrapped his hand around Zion’s giving him a side hug and ruffling his hair.

“Daddy, do you know what day it is today?” Ambrosia asked with a knowing grin.

Of course he did, it was Zion’s thirteenth birthday.

“Noooo. Why? Is it an important day?” He teased.

“DAD!” Ambrosia exclaimed shock and disappointment clear in her voice.

She squirmed in his hold making Damien release Zion from the side hug and gently place her back on the floor.

“You are not allowed outside your room till you remember what day it is today.” She proclaimed and turned to walk away in a huff making her father and brother laugh.

“Happy birthday Z,” Damien said to his son after his daughter left his room.

“Thanks, Dad,” Zion replied.

“So what do you have planned for today?” Damien asked as he walked to his clothes that were stuffed in a worn-out suitcase, its zipper was hanging by a thread but it worked well for a “closet”.

“Going to drop off Sia at the daycare then meet up with my friends,” Zion said as he shifted from one leg to the other, his sheepishness told Damien that he had something to ask.

“Okay, as long as you eat lunch and you are back before the curfew,” Damen said as he gave his favorite grey shirt a sniff and wore it after decided it was good enough to wear to work again.

“When have I not,” Zion replied.

Oh? Is he going through puberty already? barely a day in his teens. Damien thought to himself.

He turned to Zion and lifted an eyebrow at him and his son’s mumbled apologies told him that he still had time before he was dealing with a hormone-filled teenager.

“Waswonderingifwouldggivememorecreditstospendtodaycauseitismybirthday.” Zion rapped out so quickly that it left Damien flustered.

“Sorry did not catch that,” Damien said as he walked out of his room amused at the quick footsteps that chased after him.

“I was hoping for more credits since… it's..my birthday…?” Zion asked his eyes not meeting Damien’s.

Damien had already decided to increase his allowance, he knew that as a kid grew his wants and needs got more and more expensive. He had no parent to give him credits to hang out with his friends, and every single credit he spent he had to replace by doing odd jobs, no child should work just for a meal was what Damien decided after many backbreaking jobs and tasks he did to make sure he had credits for a meal.

So call it spoiling but it made Damien happy when his son would ask him for credits and he had enough to feed them and for them to play. He was a fool for his kids that was for sure, but he allowed himself to play the fool for them.

Nevertheless, that did not mean that he would just give Zion credit. Damien asked him a million and one question, why does he need the credits? What is he going to use them for? Just cause your friends have more credits you want more?

Plus conditions like: Do not buy suspicious shit. Make sure to buy something for your sister. If I see you near the fucking pub…I will not only revoke your allowance privilege but also take away everything you have bought, games, books everything.

After a gruesome process, Damien transferred one hundred and fifty credits to Zion’s account. Plus the fifty he had, should hold him up for a couple of days.

While Damien was preparing breakfast, Zion helped his sister get ready for daycare... It was one of the tasks Damien failed miserably at, he had the patience of a fucking toddler, and Ambrosia not only was a toddler but his daughter who took after his patience; so mornings when Damien had to prepare Ambrosia for daycare often ended with a standoff between himself and her.

He loved her!

 Really!

 But goddamn it the child was fucking fussy, if he tied her hair using any other hair tie than the one she wanted, she would cry and throw herself onto the floor in her tantrums. Damien was sure he would be bald if Zion had not taken over Ambrosia’s morning routine. He winced at the ghost grab he felt on his scalp as he remembered how she would pull on his hair every morning.

“Daddy! Go back to your room.” She ordered as she matched to the living room plus kitchen with a pout, stopping before him and looking up at him with an adorable scowl.

“But I have remembered what day it is today!” Damien cried out in mock offense.

“Okay. What is it?” She asked with a huff.

“It is …my birthday,” Damien announced happily.

“NO! It is not!” She cried out with a shout, “It is Z’s birthday!” She revealed stomping her foot in frustration.

Damien gasped then looked at Zion who rolled his eyes at their antics walking past the two of them grabbing his plate of eggs and sitting down at the kitchen counter that served as their dining room after Damien bought three stools that were on Sale at Valine’s workshop.

“Oh, how could I have forgotten!” Damien said in mock sadness.

“Do not worry daddy. I did not forget.” Ambrosia said as he raised her arms towards him, an invitation to carry her to her stool which Damien accepted happily.

“I remembered and wished him a happy birthday early in the morning.”  She announced proudly making Damien chuckle.

“Oh, you did? Nice going baby girl.” He rewarded her as she sat down on her stool that was opposite Zion’s.

“Yeah, she did. At the ass crack of dawn.” Zion grumbled.

“Watch your fucking mouth you little shit,” Damien warned before he shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

“You are worse than me Dad.”Zion said with a laugh.

Just as Damien wet to reply, Ambrosia shouted,

“Fucking little shit!” making Zion burst out laughing and Damien groan.

Their mornings more or less were similar to that, after breakfast, Damien would walk his children to the door and help Zion wrestle on Ambrosia’s shoes. She decided that getting her shoes on would be an S-level quest, as Zion referred to it one morning.

After watching his kids leave, Damien would then start preparing for his day. A hot shower sometimes cold if the kids used up all the water, then dressed, brushed his teeth drank another cup of coffee, and hoped not to get the urge to take a shit before he reached work.

Closed their home with a satisfying click of the locks then walked to work, after dropping the construction work with no prior communication to the agency, Damien went through a rough patch of unemployment till the employment gods finally looked upon him with favor and got another construction job. This time it was in the Outskirts, the Outer wall needed repair, and who else but the Unchosens to work on it?

It started one and a half years ago and was still not yet done. Materials were always late and sometimes bureaucracy made construction stop altogether but Damien was still getting paid as the foreman so…not his circus, not his monkeys.

Work was twenty minutes away by walking, he could get there quicker using public transport but he was never in a rush to get to work.

 “Boss!” 

A voice called out making Damien sigh. He had yet to arrive at his office and already someone needed him.

“What is up Aiken?” He asked his assistant who came to a stop beside him as Damien opened his office and walked inside.

“Suits are here,” Aiken replied, curt and to the point just as Damien liked.

“Let Mia deal with them,” Damien said with a shrug. 

Mia was their secretary and the point of contact between their employers and them.

“Did, but they said they wanna see you.” Aiken reported.

Their employers never wanted to get to the nitty-gritty of everyday work, so he let Mia handle them giving them surface-level reports to appease them. Asking for him was new.

“Give me five.” Damien gruffed out as he went to change into his work clothes. A black overall with his name sewn on the right side of his chest.

 He was never the best at human interaction, hell he was not even among the average so the thought of meeting up with snooty paper pushers already put him in a bad mood. He needed more than five minutes.