The light changes in the room as the time ticks
by. My nerves have faded since it seems no one is coming for me. I fully
stretch out my muscles and I am back to feeling more myself. Except, now I
really feel my hunger. I alternate between using the blankets for comfort and
pacing around the room for warmth. For a while my head buzzes with thoughts of
how I can get out of here.
I really don’t know who I am dealing with though. Breaking free and running for it seems too risky. Maybe when Bugsy comes back, I can probe him for more information.
As the day drags on, my thoughts drift.
Man, I could really go for a big sandwich right now…or a big bowl of pasta.
I even let myself think thoughts I’ve long since pushed out of my mind.
I hope, if my family is still alive, they are well… and not worried about me anymore… I wonder where Jackson is. He would be proud of me. He wouldn’t have wanted to give up. He’d say, “I know you can survive this, Liv, you are so strong.”
A pained smile crosses my face as this thought hits me. I feel warm tears fill my eyes.
“I miss you, Jackson.” I let myself say out loud. My throat is tight as I sit on the floor with my back against the edge of the bed, hugging my knees to my chest.
I’m sure he was so angry when he found out I left without him. I can picture him frantic, asking everyone if they’d seen me as soon as he realized I was gone. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, or that I was even going. I didn’t even know where I was going. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell them, that would only endanger them more. There was no way Jackson would let me go alone. There was no way he’d understand.
“I had to, Jackson, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”
I can’t hold my tears back and am trying to muffle the sound in the blanket Bugsy brought me last night. Memories flood my mind of the time before all this. When everything was normal and easy. I let my body slump fully down to the floor and cried harder and harder until exhaustion puts me to sleep, the blanket half covering me.
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