★彡[ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀʀꜱ]彡★

☾☉☉☉☽

They really don’t have much faith in you, Caju.

Despite Caju—one of the best pilots to join Cosmos Administration—being sent to track and drag Saturn down to that disappointing planet called Earth, Pandora still felt the need to continue sending fleets. Why? If Caju can’t get Saturn back, there’s no hope. Why waste everyone’s time?

Saturn can’t catch a break. He takes down 5 ships and 10 ships replace them. He takes down 10 ships and there’s this moment of peace—until there’s a new fleet of 30.

And look! There’s a fleet speeding towards him now.

Gamma Cygni is a flashy thing, of bright pinks and blues, as luminous as the star its named after. It doesn’t suit its dull pilot in the slightest, Saturn thinks, since he knew said pilot (for a single night). The ship bursts beams of vivid color, lasers that could cut into the Kraken Mare, if Saturn had no idea what he was doing. But he does know, comfortably outmaneuvering the Gamma Cygni’s every move. The beams are getting closer and closer and closer, the heat radiating through the Kraken Mare’s side, but Saturn is faster: the second it stops to recharge, Saturn rips away the hand of Gamma Cygni before it can continue firing. It’s over.

But it isn’t actually over yet. There’s still Zeta Persei and Beta Leporis… and whoever is sent after him next.

They’ve gotten cocky, too! They think those cracks Caju gifted him mean anything. They think they stand a chance because of the Kraken Mare’s wound, but the wound is not a wound—it’s lines in its metal flesh that don’t hurt. It’s nothing. Caju has done those fleets no favors.

They’re so bold! Confidently wrong. It’s funny, but it’s also tiring and tedious.

Saturn tries to make a game of it but their hearts aren’t into it. He hopes Caju will play with him again soon, if only so he doesn’t die from boredom.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do when Cosmos Administration really shuts down. When ships will stop trailing him because they’ll all be destroyed until there’s not a single ship left but his own.

When Saturn will be truly alone.

…Maybe if he had made a plan, things would’ve been different. Maybe Cupid would have joined him—

—No, that’s not true.

He didn’t want Cupid to join him.

He had asked once if Cupid would tag along with him but the question itself was a joke. Cupid wouldn’t say yes, and Saturn wouldn’t let him come even if Cupid agreed. It’d be awkward. It’d be difficult. For both of them.

Who cares that Cupid isn’t here?

Saturn has always been lonely. To be a little lonelier… How much more could it possibly hurt?

He doesn’t want to find out, but he’s willing to. Whether he has an army behind him or nothing but the stars by his side, he will never go back.

Which is why he keeps fighting: he puts Zeta Persei and Beta Leporis out of commission, and he promises to those pilots that he’ll do the same to the next ship that gets close enough.

He’s rewarded for his efforts with a grace period. Taking advantage of the brief free time he has, he leaves Jupiter behind him, heading back to Mars like an excited kid.

The Kraken Mare has lots of mysteries and he’s figured out some of them, like the radar Cupid conveniently forgot to mention! He watches it carefully: the fleet he defeated is gone but there’s a lone ship on Mars that’s caught his eye. Perhaps he’ll get to see Caju again sooner than he thought!

Saturn’s stolen ship makes billows and billows of dust as it lands on Mars’ surface, not unlike the last time he was here. It’s too thick to see through—he’s lucky that he didn’t accidentally crush any buildings beneath him. Too afraid to move for fear of demolishing what might become his home, Saturn and the Kraken Mare remain idle, waiting for the clouds to disappear.

Ahead, he spots something unexpected.

It’s a broken vessel of faded purples, moving slowly as its face stops looking at the ground and instead up at him. Its left side is still bleeding golden ichor—Saturn could recognize the Kuiper Belt anywhere because of that. It was a stubborn thing, for functioning this long.

It felt like ages since he last saw Sao.

The last time they spoke was when Cupid was first showing Sao the Kraken Mare. Saturn went just to admire it, and was a tad miffed when Sao refused to test it out right then and there, only for his shock to grow as Sao continued avoiding it. It’s like Sao was begging for someone to get rid of it for him, to take it away.

And Saturn gladly obliged. All it took was the push of Cosmos Administration being shut down.

“Hey,” Saturn says. “Happy to see me?”

There’s a pause long enough for Saturn to think something was wrong, that the Kuiper Belt was glitching out, but Sao answers, “More confused, if anything.”

“I could say the same,” Saturn responds. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Nobody had explained anything to them—Cupid and Caju were useless.

To be fair, Sao at least knew Saturn was in space… but he was never told why. And Saturn, on the other hand, had no clue Sao wasn’t back on Earth in the first place.

“Collecting shattered pieces of the Ursa Major,” Sao says simply.

“With that old thing?” Saturn, with the Kraken Mare’s arms, gestures to the Kuiper Belt. “I know I stole your new ship, but there’s hundreds of ships sitting around at Cosmos Administration collecting dust that are ten times better—you could’ve picked any of them instead.”

“No, I couldn’t’ have,” Sao insists. “I’m not talented like you or Caju.”

“God, Sao.” Saturn groans. “Don’t call us talented. You’re taking away all our credit— I’ve been learning and practicing for my entire life.” The second he was born, everyone decided for Saturn that he’d be a pilot. The second he was old enough, his aunt pushed him into studies and simulations. She was lucky he liked it so much. “And Caju tried even harder to get as good as me in less than half the time. We weren’t perfect when we started. It’s not talent.”

But it is talent, Sao thinks. Sure, they’ve built up their skill, but it comes easier to them, too. He’s been trying. For years. What good has that got him? He feels like he’s gone nowhere, like there’s no results for his efforts.

“Why are you here?” Sao questions. He’s not good at changing the subject smoothly. He’s not good at most things.

Saturn laughs as if to reassure Sao he should be embarrassed. “I’m here because it’s not Earth.”

“Oh.” That made sense.

“And you? I mean, you’re not all the way out here just to help Caju, are you?”

“Well…” Sao looks to the panels in front of him. Anywhere that isn’t the Kraken Mare because he hates what it reminds him of. Anywhere that isn’t in Saturn’s general direction because he knows Saturn won’t like what he has to say. “…Someone has to destroy the colonies.”

“What?” Saturn blurts out, a knee-jerk reaction. He’s been so preoccupied; he hasn’t yet seen the wreckage of the Moon or Mercury. He didn’t know. “No. You can’t. You won’t, right?”

“I’m a push-over,” Sao explains matter-of-factly.

At least he’s aware, Saturn thinks wryly.

“That’s why Titan likes you over me.” Sao cringes: no one wants to be liked by Titan. “You’re obedient. You don’t think for yourself.” Sao doesn’t react because he’s already had the same thoughts about himself; it doesn’t sting anymore. “I don’t care if you suck up to him, but I care a lot if you destroy the colonies.”

“…Convince me not to.”

There’s a challenge in his words. Saturn likes a good challenge.

“Convince me to betray Cosmos Administration and go back and face the consequences. Or convince me to join you. Or convince me of something else. If you can’t, I’ll destroy the colonies like I was asked, even if you hate me.” Even if I hate me.

“You’d join me? You’d stay with me in space?”

“I don’t know. That’s why you have to convince me.”

Sao isn’t sure why he suggests such a thing. He isn’t sure Saturn even has a chance at succeeding. It’s a plea that escapes his mouth before he realizes what he’s saying.

Living in space—how can he do that? Earth demands he comes back—how can he say no to that pull? Does Saturn even want him and his worthlessness? Would that mean leaving Caju behind? He regrets giving Saturn this challenge immediately.

But he doesn’t have the heart to call it off—Saturn sounds so motivated.

And the opportunity to say “nevermind” is gone because Saturn’s grace period is over. The next fleet has come to fight and fail. So Saturn leads them away—he can’t have them damaging the Red Colony, after all—telling Sao to meet him on Jupiter when they can.

Sao wishes he could say no.