I'm sick and it's my fault. Remember the smugglers from what seems like a lifetime ago at the start of my trip? I think I've figured out what they could be smuggling. Not them specifically, but in general. It's the happiness drug. What's it called…

     Bliss™. Why did I write the ™ ? I don't think that's even the trademarked name, that's just slang… what's the real name… something like Blyphoria? I can't remember. Glisfora? It was something. 

    Tangent. Sorry. Anyways, Bliss. Wait, was the nickname Bliss or Gliss? Or Gloss, I distinctly remember- 

    You don't want to hear about that stuff. I found a bottle abandoned in a scrapheap. 

    No, I didn't take any. 

     That's a lie.

      I'm sorry. 

      No I'm not.

      I don't know!

      I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and worried and scared and depressed and…

      I just want it to stop. I just want it to go away, even for a little bit. 

       I guess you were smart to get out while you could. To get away from me. 

       Anyway, the stuff was no good. Expired or tainted or something. So now I'm sick.

      Would anyone care if I died right now?

       Would I care?

       I think… I think that's what the creature asked me. 

       I think I said no.

       I wish I hadn't taken the Bliss. 

       I wish it had worked.

       I wish it hadn't been there, or that I hadn't found it.

       I wish I wasn't sick.

       I wish it wasn't raining.

       I wish we were together.

       I wish I was normal.

       I'm sorry.

       I hope… 

       I don't have anything to hope for.

       I hope I have something to hope for?

       I'm not hopeful. Not now. Just dumb.