Much like the days before, Elio knocked on the door after breakfast but instead of whisking him away to another activity I invited him in. I could see the surprise on his face and I already dreaded the conversation we were about to have.

In my mind I had rationalized my decision. I told myself that it would benefit us both and that I was not really hurting anyone but regardless of these things, I felt guilt and I never did enjoy the feeling.

I guide him to the couch and prepared tea. I knew he felt the tension that I was feeling and when I sat down he asked me about it.

“Did something happen?” I could see the confusion etched in his features and I shake my head.

“Nothing happened but I do want to talk with you,” I answer him and he nods.

“Have you ever decided on something and knew that it was the right thing to do, regardless of what anybody else said?” I ask and he nods.

“I have too, countless times and I have never once made the wrong decision for my people,” I look him in the eyes, urging him to understand.

“I hoped that I wasn’t put in a position where I had to disagree with you especially this early on in our marriage. I know that the lives of two people important to you are at stake and I feel like I at least owe you an explanation,” I tell him, clasping my hands together.

“I never intended to revoke my decision,” I clarify and he looks at me, a question in his eyes.

“What was I doing for the past few days then?” he asks, hurt in his voice.

“I wanted to see your skills and I thought it was an opportunity for us to get to know each other. I know you may see it as me playing you for a fool but hurting you was never my intention,” I assure him.

I watch several emotions play on his beautiful features – confusion, hurt, betrayal, and finally acceptance. He nods, signalling me to continue.

“The assassination plot wasn’t something new. What tipped the scales was the fact that the assassination plot came from the Ocelon kingdom, Pavenia Empire’s closest and oldest ally,” I tell him slowly, letting the gravity of the situation sink in.

“I have told you this before, I am not just Bell and you are not just Elio. I am the empress of the Pavenia Empire and you are the crown prince of the Ocelon Kingdom and as such, we are always an extension of our nations. We are a representation of our nations’ strengths as well as weaknesses, by targeting me they were targeting the Pavenia empire,” I explain further.

“If they were successful in their attempt to take my life, since we were bound by marriage, the empire would have fallen into your hands, more specifically it would have fallen under the Ocelon kingdom’s control. You must now understand why I am threatening to wage war if the perpetrators are not beheaded,” I say and I see his eyes dawn in understanding.

“Even if their intent behind assassinating me was not to usurp my throne, other nations would not interpret it as such. If I were to revoke my decision in beheading them, the international community would see it as a weakness, an open invitation to my throne and I can never allow that. By executing the perpetrators, it sends a clear message ‘Anyone who dares try to assassinate me will meet their ends’,” I tell him, hoping that he sees and accepts my reasoning.

“But, in the unfortunate event that your father decides not to behead them the war will also send a clear message ‘No one gets away with trying to assassinate me’. You and I as well as your father know that the Ocelon Kingdom will not survive a war against my empire and that is why he sent you to convince me to revoke my decision but now you know why I won’t,” I finish explaining.

A few minutes of silence ensue and I was afraid that he must not have seen where I was coming from until he spoke.

“Why did you not explain it to me from the beginning? I would have understood. Why did you opt to fool me?” he asks and I gulp. My guilt was eating me inside.

“I do not trust you enough,” I answer him truthfully.

“We don’t know each other well and that is the truth. I did not know how you would react to my reasoning and I did not want to convince you to see the situation as I do if you didn’t agree with me. The fact that you promised my and my people’s safety then failing did not help,” I explain.

“I found myself in a foreign nation with my position compromised. I did not know who to trust and I knew it would have been quite easy to cover everything up if I did not immediately handle the situation,” I explain further, hoping that everything I’m saying is being processed the way I wish it was supposed to be.

After a few moments he nods.

“I understand, I just hope you would have told me everything at the beginning. Thank you for teaching me another thing,” He says and I furrow my eyebrows confused.

“I learned that I should not bend to the decision of others if I feel like it is the right thing to do,” he explains and I nod.

“But as much as I have learned from you, it has now become my mission to teach you something on my own. I am fully aware that we had a different upbringing and what might be natural to me might be difficult for you, but I am committed to my mission of teaching you more about relationships,” he tells me as he stands and leaves the room.

What he said left me flabbergasted. I know about relationships, how could I not? My relationships with my comrades in battle made all the difference between life and death. It was not uncommon for poison to find itself in a comrade’s cup especially if you were on the wrong side of a mercenary nor was it uncommon to find a ‘friendly’ sword buried in your back in the chaos of battle.

I walk towards Tia’s room, thoughts still churning in my mind. I needed to talk with someone. I hadn’t the slightest idea why Elio’s comment irked me especially if it’s not true. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind my mind knows that there is an inch of truth in what he said.

“What is it now?” Tia asks, jolting me from my thoughts.

“Am I bad at relationships?” I ask and he raises an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips.

“Am I?” I ask again and he shrugs.

“You’re not the best at them?” I blink a few times, trying to process what he just said.

“But I’ve befriended the knights, even some mercenaries. No one tried to poison me in the battlefield,” I say, plopping down beside Tia on his bed.

He chuckles, shaking his head.

“You do know that your context of relationships is not normal? Not everyone’s relationships are based on how they did during the war, in the battlefield. When have you ever made a friend since you came back from war?” he asks and I stop to think.

“But I have no need for friends. They require time which I dedicated to stabilizing the empire and my people,” I automatically answer him and he nods.

“I know, we know, and everyone knows. But don’t you think it’s time for you to pause and catch a bit of a break? You just got married and you’ve never really enjoyed what the Ocelon kingdom has to offer,” he says and I immediately shake my head.

“You’re right, I just got married and look at you. Someone tried to assassinate me and you were almost dead. How could I rest when I don’t even know who to trust,” I tell him and he looks at me, a small smile on his lips.

“Do you trust your husband?” he asks and I stop to think.

“I’m not sure. I can’t help but think me trusting him with our safety is the reason why you’re incapacitated,” I answer and he shakes his head.

“We both knew he had nothing to do with anything that happened. We also knew that he has no hold over anything in this court. Don’t try and villanize him just because he is trying to be a part of your life,” he tells me and I look back at him.

His dark brown hair has begun to grown and his familiar warm brown eyes hold melancholy but are steady. I intertwine my calloused hands with his, hands that have held and saved me countless times before, the only hands that I have allowed to hold my heart, and the only hands that I could rely on. His are the only hands I have trusted my life with, can I ever trust someone as much as I do him? Do I have any need to?

“Why are you pushing him to him?” I ask and I instantly regret it.

The small smile on his lips tries to hide the pain that he was unable to hide in his eyes.

“You made your decision and I made mine. I do not want you to come to me just because your marriage is not in a good place. When you do come to me, I want it because you have chosen me, without a shadow of a doubt,” he says.

I scoot closer to him and place his arm over my shoulder. I revel in his warmth and his scent that always reminds me of the meadow full of wildflowers where we used to play when we were children, where we used to spend our time in each other’s arms when I was twelve and I wanted to hide from the incessant demands of my mother.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. Words that could never change my decision nor assuage the pain both of us are feeling.

“I understand. You made your decision because it was what is best for the people but I would be lying if I said I never hoped that you could have chosen me,” He says and I close my eyes, trying to stop the threat of tears.

“Don’t cry,” he says, tracing non-existent figures on my arm, soothing me.

“We are both alive and well, our lives still ahead of us. No one can know what the future holds and as long as there is hope for us, I will never falter in my belief that someday our time will come,” he tells me and I crumple, burying my face on his shoulder, letting my tears flow silently.

How could the gods be this cruel, letting me fall in love with a man that is always by my side but I can never really be with; testing my resolve every day, making me question if I made the correct decision.  

“Until then, I will always do everything for your happiness even if it means helping you get closer to your husband. After all, you always told me how you wanted to have a happy and loving family. You can’t do that if you and you’re husband are estranged,” he says, placing a kiss at the top of my head.

I haven’t the faintest idea when I fell asleep. All I know is that impossible thoughts continued to plague me until I was exhausted. What wakes me is the empty spot beside me. I shoot up, looking around the room only to find Tia in his training clothes.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask him, getting out of bed and placing myself in front of the bedroom door. He rolls his eyes.

“It’s almost been a week, my wound is starting to close and my muscles feel sore from sitting around all day. Don’t worry about me, I’m just going for a light jog and stretch,” he answers, ruffling my hair.

“If your wound reopens, you will be spending a month on bed rest no complaints,” I tell him, moving to the side and he nods, leaving me in his room.

A few seconds later, someone knocks on the door and I jump from surprise.

“Who is it?” I ask, wondering why no guard came to inform me of a visitor.

“It’s Elio, may I come in?” he asks and I open the door, vaguely aware that I was still in my nightdress and curious as to what he would think.

He walks in and sits on the couch near the fireplace.

“My father wants to invite you for breakfast and I would like to ask if you have any time to spare for me today,” he says, refusing to look me in the eyes.

I sit next to him, trying to figure out what his eyes were trained on.

“Please tell your father that I will be seeing him during breakfast and yes, I do have time for you today. In fact, I don’t have anything on my schedule, a rather rare occurrence,” I answer, encouraging him to say what he wants to say.

He nods then stands up. He reaches for my hand and places a chaste kiss on top of it.

“I trust you,” he says, looking me in the eyes for the first time since he came in then he leaves.  

I get ready for the day, dazed. I think about what Elio said. Was he telling me that he has decided to trust our agreement, even if he saw me in my nightdress waking up in another man’s room? Was it his way of telling me that he trusts me implicitly? Or was it his attempt to assure himself that nothing has happened because I myself put the condition in our agreement?

Before I knew it, I was sitting on the dining hall for breakfast beside Elio and across his father. The air was alive with impatient and nervous energy. I knew why King Alissier requested for an audience, it was to talk about my decision regarding the punishment. I have no doubt that he had heard of what I told Elio. He either wants to convince me for the last time or confirm my decision, maybe even both.

“Thank you for inviting me for breakfast your majesty,” I say, starting conversation to break the ice floating around the room.

“Thank you for accepting my rather abrupt invitation,” he answers stiffly.

I place my cutlery down, determined to address the elephant in the room.

“I apologize your majesty but my decision remains the same. Either the beheading happens tomorrow or war between our nations will ensue,” I say bluntly.

I watch him slowly place his cutlery down and release a tired sigh.

“I understand. I knew I couldn’t convince you otherwise but I had to try. The beheading of the marquess and the count will be taking place at the plaza tomorrow at noon,” he says quietly and I nod.

“That wasn’t the only reason I invited you to breakfast,” he continues and I look at him confused.

“Now that you are married, I would like to remind you of your duties specifically the producing of heirs. We can have a room readied at your convenience,” He says.

I stay silent, processing what he just said. Not even a week has passed since his friends have attempted to assassinate me. Not to mention the fact that my personal knight has just started to walk again and he has the nerve to talk about our ‘duties’ as a married couple. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when Elio clasps my hand that was resting on the table.

“Father, I believe this isn’t the right time to discuss such matters. Additionally for future reference, I believe my wife and I can handle our relationship ourselves,” he says and his father nods.

I squeeze his hand and mouth a ‘thank you’.

We finish our breakfast in silence, each of us busy inside our own minds. Before I could leave the dining hall Elio hands me a note and wordlessly leaves. I open the note, curious about his peculiar actions.

‘Meet me at the main garden at ten. I will be waiting’ the note read. I inspect it thoroughly, trying to find more clues about his plan but find none.

I walk to my room, wondering if it his invitation has anything to do with his mission of teaching me about relationships.