Amalia

I took thirty seconds to decide I'm not dressing especially cute for when Talan comes over today. I foolishly prepared for him all week, but he didn't show up. So, yeah, a mere thirty seconds, plus an extra forty minutes of indecisiveness before I finally throw on a pair of cut-off cotton sweatpants and an oversized half t-shirt, creating a loose French braid in my hair, and slapping on a minimal amount of makeup to match my clothing choice. 

If Talan wants to act like nothing happened between us, so will I.

I get downstairs to find Mom in her bedroom, busy cleaning their dressers and closets for the upcoming fall clothing drive while muted music sings through her closed door. So, I make myself comfortable in the living room and page through the new Seventeen magazine my forever-young-at-heart mother buys and reads even though she's years past that age.

Is He into You? Take This Quiz and Find Out.

I skim through the article, not paying attention to it, trying to distract myself from the constant throbbing heart-hurt that's been bothering me since Kade told us that Talan didn't want to stop and see the guys when he was in town. None of them know that Talan didn't come by because he didn't want to see me. 

Luckily, Jaxon is unaware of what happened between Talan and me at the theater; he loves saying, "I told you so." I blocked it out during the movie. But now, his warning plays clearly in my mind, as does the day he gave it. 

2 Winters Ago

I was thirteen and had just learned to wear makeup. Mom taught me to wear it just right so it would accent my features without being obvious. I couldn't wait to see Talan on Thanksgiving weekend. He and Kade had come over on their dirt bikes early in the morning to help Jaxon get his bike started.

When I found a reason to go outside with them to test if Talan would notice the differences, I rushed into to the kitchen, grabbed a few cans of Coke from the fridge, and sped outdoors. Like a dummy, I forgot how icy the frigid winter mornings sometimes got, and as soon as I set foot on the slick, salted porch, I flew off the cement and hit the soggy, damp ground. Gritty soil, dead grass, and leaves splattered around me. The sodas bounced out of my arms and rolled into the driveway.

"Ama?"  Talan rushed to my side and lifted me to my feet by my arms. "Are you alright?"

"I think so."

Dirt covered my backside, my head, and the side of my face. Talan reached out and wiped off my cheek. His hands were chilly, but my skin heated where he touched it. I let myself explore his eyes longer than usual, and it felt daring, warm, and sweet, like sipping at a cup of too-hot chocolate. His eyelashes seemed to flutter with a subtle hint of bashfulness as he held on to my gaze. His cheeks had a rosy hue. I wondered if it was a slight blush or just the color from the cold.

"Jeez, Ama, what's wrong with you?" Jaxon's yell shocked me out of a daze. Immersed in the connection, I forgot he and Kade were there.

Talan cleared his throat, and we turned toward them. Fiery daggers were shooting at me from Jaxon's blazing eyes and possibly at Talan. It was hard to tell because it happened so fast.

"Why are you so clumsy? What are you doing out here bothering us?"

"I thought you might be thirsty," I mumbled, looking down at the sodas.

"Are you crazy? It's freezing out here! What are you, an idiot?"

Usually good-natured, comical, and fun to be around, Jaxon's cruel behavior took me by surprise. Embarrassment heated my face, a lump lodging in my throat. I couldn't speak because if I tried, I would cry.

"I'll have one. I'm thirsty," Kade said in a quiet voice.

Talan's lips stretched into a thin smile when I turned from Jaxon's angry face to his, and I could see the pity in his eyes. Humiliated, I turned back to Jaxon and screamed at him. "You're the idiot!"

I spun around, racing into the house and upstairs to my bedroom, slammed the door, and locked it. Throwing myself on the bed, I cried from a mixture of anger and embarrassment. I hated Jaxon, and Talan could take that look of his and cram it. I didn't want his pity and didn't care if I ever saw him again.

About twenty minutes later, I heard the door slam and Jaxon hollering. "Mom, what's for breakfast?"

The bikes roared to life again. I stood up, peered out the window, and saw Talan and Kade straddling them. I wondered if Talan thought I was an idiot, too.

He looked up at my window as if he sensed my eyes on him and waved. Kade looked up as well. I smiled and waved back at them, deciding Jaxon was the person I would never forgive.

I ignored shouts of my name calling me down to eat. I wouldn't leave my room if I had to see Jaxon's ugly face.

Mom came to my room to see why I wouldn't come down, and low-and-behold, she brought the evil dungeon master with her. "I'm not talking to him, Mom." I spun around and flopped myself on the bed.

"Jaxon has something to say to you."

"No way. He made me look like a fool in front of his friends. I would never do that to him. I'm not talking to him for as long as we live."

He grumbled, narrowing his eyes. "I didn't make a fool out of you! You made a fool out of yourself."

"Get out of my room!"

"Amalia, Jaxon already told me what happened. He feels terrible about it and wants to apologize. Don't you, Jaxon?" Her glare said, you better!

"Uh-huh." He sat at the foot of my bed.

"You don't have to talk, but, honey, you have to listen." She left and closed the door.

Jaxon and I sat silently for a couple of minutes before he spoke. "I'm sorry, Amalia. Talan's my friend and ... Do you like him or what?"

"No!" I claimed in a sharp tone. "And what if I did? So what? Who cares?"

"I care because you're my sister."

"And? What does that have to do with anything? He's a good guy. He's your best buddy, isn't he?"

"It's because he is my best friend that I don't want you to go out with him. I know things because of that. Things that make me think it's not such a good idea."

"Like, what kinds of things?"

Frustration flashed across his face. "I don't know. Guy things!" Then he huffed. "Like what he thinks about girls and stuff. The way he talks—not that I'm any better. The kinds of pictures he looks at. Well, we both do, but that's not the point, Ama. He goes out with a bunch of girls and doesn't get serious about them. He's ... Let's say he knows what he's doing when it comes to girls. I don't want you to end up getting hurt ... or violated."

I rolled my eyes as I lay there, staring up at the ceiling.

"Besides, he doesn't like you."

Horrified, I launched into a sitting position. "You asked him? You had no right!"

"Yes, I did, and I had every right! I didn't appreciate how he looked at you today. I wanted him to know we wouldn't be friends if he had any stupid ideas. He doesn't like me checking Kinsley out."

"You check Kinsley out?"

"I can't help it sometimes. It's a guy thing. He said he thinks of you as my younger sister, and you're not even his type."

"He has a type?" That was a surprise. "Well, I never said I liked him. I just said what if I did, but I don't, so you can stop worrying about it."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you in front of them today. I promise never to do that again. Do you forgive me?"

"I suppose." I faked a smile, still hurt and angry with him.

He stood up, happy, and as he walked out the door said, "You know you're my favorite sister." 

"I'm your only sister," I told myself as he shut it.

Unready to leave my room, I lay on my bed, lost in my thoughts. Talan gave me a look, and that information thrilled me. But I knew Jaxon wanted to protect me and must have had a good reason for warning me, so I wondered what kind of guy Talan was—an ordinary guy, I supposed, if he was just like Jaxon. I sighed. No matter what anyone said, I would always be in love with Talan Swifthawk.

There was another knock at the door. "Come in!"

Erik waltzed inside. "So, I heard Jaxon psyched out over nothing this morning, huh?" He sat where Jaxon had been sitting. "The big psycho."

"Did he tell you about it, or did Mom?"

"Neither. Kade called, worried about you and said Jaxon freaked out on you for nothing. He and Talan felt sorry for you."

After I told him everything, including Jaxon's warning, he said, "That's dumb. If one of my friends liked you, I wouldn't mind if you went out with one of them." He hopped up and into his boxing stance. "Of course. I'd knock any of them out if they crossed the line."

"All your friends, but Kade, are nerds. What do they know about crossing lines?"

"True that." 

Although Jaxon was hilarious, Erik always made me feel better. 

Talan caught me on the stairs the next day. "I just want to tell you I'm sorry about yesterday. You did nothing wrong. Jaxon was just being mean."

Nervous and still wounded and embarrassed, my eyelashes fluttered. "It's whatever now."

A playful twinkle appeared in his eyes, and he half smiled. "Do you want me to beat him up for you? I'll beat him up if you tell me to." 

I giggled and said, "No. We already made up, but it is a nice offer."

The memory brings a smile to my lips; Talan was joking, but it was a sweet gesture. 

Erik, who had been raking leaves outside, is shuffling around the house from room to room and back again, mumbling to himself and annoying me. I tune him out, stuck in my little world, wondering when Talan will show up and worrying about how I'll act when he does. 

My head jerks upward at Erik's angry tone as he yanks the cushions off the other sofa. "I asked you if you've seen the TV remote?" 

"No!"

He approaches me to check the sofa I'm sitting on, and his hands slide beneath and between the cushions while I ignore his silent prodding for me to move.

"The least you could do is help me find it," he says. 

"If I wanted to watch TV, I'd have the remote in my hand and the TV turned on by now."

He comes out with nothing in his hands and straightens from his bent-over position, glancing at the pressed-open pages on my lap. "News Flash! If you need a quiz to see if he's into you, he's not."

Aggravation colors my face as I sneer at him, shutting the magazine violently. "It says how to tell if he's into you when your brother's an annoying ass!"

Jaxon's chipper voice bellows from the stairway, and he makes a factual statement. "I know you aren't talking about me." He enters the room and goes to the window facing the front yard.

Erik grins at the rise he got from me, causing me to tell him I'm taking back the compliment I just gave him.

"You complimented me?"

"Yes, inside my mind."

He chuckles, picking up an accent pillow and throwing it while I duck and laugh with him at the playful nickname he calls me. "Weirdo."

My focus shifts to Jaxon, who opens the door and shouts outside. "What are you looking for?"

Talan's voice booms into my ear like a cannon blast. "My wallet!" 

Startled, my heart skips a beat, and as I wait to face him, my entire body fills with an ugly tension.

Oh, oh, here I go!