The Imperial Capital is a more bustling city than Aris. It’s the center of the Holy Empire. We would be in close proximity with our enemies, and if we decided to move to the Imperial capital, our debut to the High society was inevitable. Which means we’ll be surrounded by so many people who have both good and bad intentions towards us.
Here in Aris, both Louis and I lived our lives mostly in seclusion. We lived here for so long, but only a handful of people knew of our faces. But once we move to the Imperial Capital, that would be a different story. We can’t live as peacefully in the Imperial Capital as we do here in Aris.
Still, our enemies know about us as much, or perhaps even more than we know about them. Aris won’t keep us safe. That’s why moving to the capital is the best decision.
Louis gave me a look and sighed.
“Fine. I guess I’ll just have to protect you.”
“Shouldn't I be the one doing the protecting?”
I smirked, which annoyed Louis.
“What? You’re weak and I’m older, so naturally it should be me. What happened last time wasn’t counted.”
How unbelievable of him to say that last time wasn’t counted when he died. I huffed.
“Aren’t I the older one now?”
“Ugh. Well, you’re still a weakling.”
“We don’t know that yet.”
“Huh?”
Our bickering ended when we heard Father let out a small laugh. His smile was gentle and his eyes were warm. Louis and I couldn't help but look at each other and break out in cheerful laughter. Even Chris, unlike his usual self, gave out a little smile.
The time of each of our deaths in the previous timeline may not be the same, but I was sure all of us could agree that it has been a long time since we had a moment like this.
“Ahh…if we’re going to the Imperial Capital, you two would need a lot of things. Speaking of which, my daughter, you haven’t worn a proper dress yet, have you?”
Pre-regression I have, but in this timeline, not really. I had been confined mostly to my room and wore mostly my night gown as I am usually stuck in bed.
“It seems like we will have to do some shopping.”
Chris immediately went to move. He’s such a capable butler really.
“Please don’t go overboard, Dad.”
“Oh I won't.” Father smiled brightly. “And son,”
“Yes?”
“There’s no need to grow up too quickly, alright? I would really appreciate it if you call me as you used to.”
Father tousled Louis’s hair as he said that. He doesn’t show it, but it seems Father was upset that his only son was acting distant.
I smirked at Louis to tease him and ran into Father’s arms.
I’m sure Louis is looking at me in disgust, especially after all that bragging about how I’m older than him recently. However, I couldn’t care less about that. Louis doesn’t know since he died young, but we’re only going to be children for a short while, and soon it’ll be hard to do something like this by then. So while I still could, I would thoroughly enjoy it.
I don’t want to regret anything in this life.
***
The weather was beautiful so while Father was busy arranging things for us to move to the Imperial Capital, Louis and I decided to have some tea and refreshments in the garden. Of course, although light, I still had a shawl with me as an extra precaution. We couldn’t be too sure after all.
But while we were talking, someone approached us.
“Would you two mind if I join you?”
It was the Pope, a benign smile rested on his face as he made his way towards us.
“Well, we do mind.”
Louis said as he rolled his eyes in annoyance. But despite our clear refusal, the Pope still sat with us on the table, as if he didn’t hear anything.
“Then, I shall help myself. Thank you.”
“Ugh. Why ask if you’re not going to listen?”
The Pope wasn’t someone that we’re open to welcome in our lives. He became more gentle after Louis died, but before in our childhood, he was a very strict man. And similar to everyone, although he didn’t explicitly say it, he didn’t much welcome my existence.
The Pope smiled. “I have something that I need to talk to you about, Your Highnesses.”
“And what might that be?”
I asked, not sparing him a look and focused on adding more sugar to my tea, much to Louis’s distaste.
“The Goddess has given me a revelation, you see.”
“Oh?”
“Really?”
The Pope had successfully gained our interest. Without letting a smile leave his face, the Pope closed his eyes and said.
“Yes. I met with her briefly when I died.”
“I’m curious. What does she look like?”
Louis asked as he cupped his chin on his hand.
“She looks like you.”
“Huh?”
“The Goddess, she resembles your faces and she took the form of a child.”
How odd. It wasn’t surprising that she looks like us. However, hearing that she took the form of a child came out as rather strange.
“Had the Archduke not told you?” The Pope asked. “I’m sure His Highness was granted an audience with the Goddess as well.”
“No, Father hadn’t told us anything about that.”
“We never thought the Goddess would be someone who was willing to meet with mere humans either.”
“I never once imagined that I would meet her as well. The faith of the Holy Empire serves only to seek forgiveness and nothing more. In any case, I came here to tell you two about the revelation I received.”
The Pope spoke grimly, prompting Louis and I to glance at each other.
“Your Highness, do you know the truth behind your birth?”
The Pope was referring to me, to which I pursed my lips and adamantly shook my head.
Of course I know, how could I not?
Since I was born I have been called a Curse. Louis wasn’t supposed to have a sister. Only the Blessing was supposed to be born that night. While being born as twins wouldn’t have been much of an issue, I was born with black hair and an overwhelming amount of Ether.
Anyone who gazed upon me was stricken in fear as if they’re seeing something that wasn’t supposed to exist in this world. Which is why the midwife thought that she had to kill me when I was born.
I was referred to as the Curse, not only because of the fear people had of me, but also because they see me as something which causes misfortune. Anyone who is involved with me somehow finds themselves unhappy, or sometimes, I even cause bad luck or death.
When Louis died before, everyone pointed their fingers at me, and said that I was to blame. The same thing happened when Father died. All the misfortune that the Holy Empire suffered was also blamed onto me.
There was nothing I could do to defend myself against those accusations.
The truth was different, but it wasn’t far from everyone’s speculation. My birth was unexpected, not because I was a Curse but because my existence itself defied fate. I was born from the tears of the Goddess when she was betrayed, and somehow found myself sharing the same womb together with her blessing.
My overwhelming amount of Ether was because I was a fragment of the Goddess herself, and the feeling that I wasn’t supposed to exist in this world was merely because it was the truth. It was also the reason why the world keeps trying to reject my existence, and why it’s so difficult for me to simply live.
And the misfortunes I caused was simply because I am the physical manifestation of the Goddess's sadness and feelings of betrayal.
I had known about this truth for the longest time. I coincidentally found out about it in a dream when I was ten years old. That day, I went to the church exclusive to Alesiter and lashed out to the Goddess, throwing everything that I could hold towards her statue.
I didn’t wish to be born. But I was happy to live with my family. However the Goddess told me that I wasn’t meant to be born, that I was an anomaly that shouldn’t exist, and that I was going to die soon as the world is trying to correct itself. I couldn’t accept it.
I just found the reason for living, and then was told that my existence itself is wrong. I was going to die soon. If not me then someone else would bear the casualty. And the closest person to me at that time was Louis.
Of course I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to know. When we were children we made a promise. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Louis that I broke that promise, and I didn’t want to add another burden onto his shoulders and bring more unhappiness to our family.
Since then I built a wall between the two of us, I pushed Louis away and walked a life built on lies. I hoped that perhaps, if Louis learned to live a life for his own, rather than for me, maybe it’ll make him happier and lessen the pain of my impending death.
It was my plan to push him to go to the Imperial Academy.
I prepared myself for my own death, but as if the world was mocking me, Louis returned and came to save me at the last minute, causing him to die that night instead.
“Your Highness, don’t you think His Highness also deserves to know.”
I flinched at the Pope’s words as I trembled uneasily. He was right, but It was my life's most guarded secret which I didn’t want anyone to know, especially not Louis.
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