Amalia

His skin.

I take a sharp breath, disgusted by that possibility. Everleigh not being allowed to date Kade because of his native heritage is the most horrible and disturbing reason I could ever imagine. Though I'm aware awful prejudice still exists prevalently even in this modern age in towns bordering reservations, it's an assumption I wouldn't have made on my own. That Kade reached that conclusion hurts my heart for him. I'm at a loss for words and feel embarrassed by the flippant reason I brought up for discussion.

“I don’t have time for people like that,” he says.

“As you shouldn’t, but Kade.” I consider my next words carefully. “Please understand that I know disgusting racism is still alive, and I would never disregard your thoughts and feelings, so don’t take offense for me saying that … Maybe we shouldn’t make the darkest assumptions, either. If it is true, that she couldn’t openly go out with you but could go out with him. It may be because of their families’ status in town. They’re country club people. That was the first thing I recognized when they walked in together.”

“That’s just as bad.”

“It is.” I sigh and reluctantly say, “While I don’t take back my opinion that she’s a walking cliche, she does like you. Since we’ve been sitting here, I can see it whenever she looks at us.” I’m trying to comfort him, but I’m struggling and should just apologize. “I’m sorry for making you talk about this without even considering that you might not have wanted to talk about it.”

As he nods, he turns away, and another awkward air of quietness passes through the moment, not letting me shut up. “I didn’t mean to pry. I just thought you’d feel better talking about it, at least. And why is it that girls can be obsessive over a breakup and cry it all out with no judgment, but society expects guys to hold it all in, stay strong, suck it up, and...” Realizing that I’m full of crap because I’ve never even experienced a breakup makes me ramble and lose my thought. “And…”

“Rub some dirt in it?” he says, facing me with a lifted eyebrow and humor in his eyes, making us both laugh.

“So, you’re saying I’d feel better if I cried?”

I gave myself a moment for consideration. “I think I’m saying that ... I’d feel better if you cried.”

He grins, bright-eyed.

“I’m kidding.”

“Good, because I’m feeling nowhere near a cry, and just to let you know, there is someone else anyway. Someone special I’ve been interested in for a long time.”

The information tickles me, and I ask him who, leaning toward him to make sure I catch her name.

His mouth quirks into a sly smile as he leans back on his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ll tell you when something real happens between me and her because if I mention it now, I might jinx myself.”

“All right, but I’m holding you to that.”

A moment later, he says, burying a chuckle. "It was probably all those things we discussed, including my magnificent hair." 

What is truly magnificent is how Kade can always find his humor in any situation. I joke back. “Your hair is much prettier than hers.”

We sit together, holding hands periodically, and Kade pretends he only has eyes for me. Everleigh looks furious now, and seeing her annoyed yet envious expression gives me enormous satisfaction. 

My other best friend, Avery, who’s in high school with me, approaches us, abandoning her date at their table. “If I didn’t know the situation, I’d think you were an actual couple. Kade looks completely into you, Ama.”

Kade and I exchange a startled glance. I blush, and he laughs and says, “Hey, I’m an excellent actor. What else can I say?”

He reminds me so much of Talan sometimes, and gosh, do I miss Talan.

After Avery leaves us, we dance again, get two pictures at the Christmas tree to commemorate the night, and hardly leave the other’s side as we mingle with our friends. 

In the middle of another dance, he asks, “What about you, Ama? Are you interested in anyone around here?”

“Around here?”

“Around anywhere. Around New Sable, I guess.”

“Uh...” I hesitate for a few seconds, then decide it might be okay to answer his question without telling him who, like he did. “I am interested in someone, but he’s not around.”

“Really? Around where? Around here?” He waves his stretched-out arm about the room, brimming with curiosity. “Who is he? What’s his name?”

I wonder how Kade will react if I mention Talan because I’m so tempted to confide in someone who knows Talan better than anyone else and might have a unique insight into his feelings. “Can you keep a secret?” 

“Sure.” He has a partial grin on his otherwise serious expression, but I don’t doubt he’s trustworthy. 

“It’s...”

His eyes widen in suspense.

“It’s...” Wavering, I try to spit Talan’s name from the tip of my tongue, but I can’t get it to roll out. My lips refuse to release my secret. It’s too unlike me to open up about Talan to anyone other than Kinsley and Avery. “I can’t say. I’m sorry.”

Talan will be home for Christmas in two days. I learned from listening to Jaxon and observing the male species that guys move on quickly when girls can’t keep their attention. If Talan moved on, I didn’t want him to know I harbored any feelings. I’m unclear where things stand between us. He had called the house, never asking to speak with me as I’d hoped. I got a hello passed on to me occasionally, but I needed more for certainty. Yet, I held on tightly to the last time I saw him.

“Ah, come on. You can’t give me that much and then leave me hanging.”

“It’s just that I’ve kept it to myself for so long.”

“Are you saying he doesn’t know?”

“I’m not sure. I thought so once. A long time ago. I wouldn’t want to force the issue with him. What if he said he didn’t feel the same? At least this way, I can hope. You know what I mean?”

“Actually, I know exactly what you mean. It’ll never happen to you, though,” Kade says with confidence. “I’ll bet any amount of money that any guy you’re interested in will jump for joy hearing about it.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re just biased because you’re my friend.”

“Don’t believe me then.” He shrugs.

The song ends, and as we return to our table, it occurs to me how easily we talked all evening and that Kade’s good mood became authentic at some point, but because I was enjoying myself, I couldn’t pinpoint when that happened or when we forgot about Everleigh. 

“I’m glad I came with you, Kade. I haven’t had this much fun in months.”

“I think none of us have.” He gestures to Kinsley and Erik. “What are they doing over there?”

“It looks like bad impersonations of Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears.”

We laugh at them while they laugh at each other, continuing to watch as a popular girl from Jaxon’s grade interrupts them. It appears she asked Erik to dance, and he said yes.

Kade and I turn to each other, our gazes meeting, and as sudden and startling as an unexpected burst of bright light, his lips press against mine. Yanking my head away, I hardly recall how it felt, but he tasted good. Flabbergasted, my face flames red.

Kade snaps to wide-eyed innocence. “I’m sorry, Ama. I didn’t mean to do that.” He scans the room. “She was looking!”

His cheeks don’t have a hint of color, but his expression says it all. I shift in Everleigh’s direction. She’s gawking at us with a face as shocked as mine. A nervous choke sputters from me. Everleigh hates me.

“Ama, I hope you’re not mad.”

Feeling a bit dazed, I shake my head. “Surprised is all.” He could have warned me. Would I have agreed? Talan appears in my mind. What will he think when he hears about it? I survey the room, cupping my blushing face in my hands. Only Everleigh is paying attention to us. It happened so fast; maybe no one else saw. The thought calms me. 

“It’s okay, Kade. I understand. But ... can we keep this just between the two of us?”

“Sure ... yeah ... the guy ... right. Yeah. Okay.” He sounds so nervous, I smile. As I smile, he smiles, bringing forth the hilarity of it. Laughter erupts between us. Kade sighs in relief before pointing at Sebastian and Grant. “It might be too late to keep it a total secret.”

They’re both holding up their thumbs at us. 

They don’t know Talan, so that’s okay. “Two thumbs up,” I mutter, still catching my bearings.  

“The Oscar goes to me.” Kade stifles more laughter as he runs a hand across his brow.

Kinsley approaches us from behind, so I quietly turn away and gather my belongings as Kade is giving her crap about her and Erik purposely avoiding us all evening. 

She says, “You can thank me with a McDonald’s breakfast tomorrow.”

“Shut up,” Kade mumbles.

While Erik and Kinsley bicker about who won their dance competition on the way home, Kade leans over and whispers in my ear, still stressing about the faked kiss. “I promise I won’t say anything to anybody. Not even Kinsley.”

“I know. I trust you.”

It’s already escaped my mind because Talan will be home in one more sleep after tonight, and through the pleasant snow flakes falling that is all I can think about.