Sitting on the swivel chair, I go back and forth as I watch Mommy cook. I wanted to help, but she said today wasn’t a day to. That helping today would be more harmful than helpful. I’m trying to learn how to know the difference. I like helping Mommy, but sometimes it doesn’t make her happy like I want it to.

Mommy's making waffles. They’re my favorite especially when they have chocolate chips. They smell so yummy, my tummy growls to let me know it needs food.

“Mommy, I’m hungry. How much longer for breakfast?”

She heads to the fridge to grab out the milk she put back not too long ago.

“It’s not much longer baby, but here, put this on your tummy to help settle it for now.”

Mommy places a glass of milk in front of me before turning back to the stove to focus on Daddy’s eggs.

There is a knock at the door and I jump down to rush to the door.

Peter! He’s here!

I hear a crash and my heart drops as I turn to see glass shattered and milk all across the floor.

Oh no!

Keeping my gaze on the floor, I realize that I rushed before thinking again.

“I’m sorry, Mommy,” I whisper my words.

Finally looking back up, I see Mommy standing still as she breathes. She says it’s best to take a moment before reacting or you might not be nice the way you should.

“What have I said about rushing before you think?”

Again my eyes dart to the floor as my tone stays hushed.

“Not to. I’ll help clean it up.”

“Thank you. Go grab the cleaner and paper towels, and I’ll take care of the rest. I don’t want you to get cut.”

Feeling bad, I try to listen to what Mommy says and head to the cupboard under the sink. Handing Mommy the stuff, I still want to rush to get the door, but not until I know my mess is clean.

But Peter is waiting…

And Mommy might need help.

Mommy picks up the pieces of glass. She doesn’t seem mad which helps me to feel better.

“I’m sorry, Mommy.”

“I appreciate the apology, Baby girl. Let’s remember to take it a bit slow next time. Will you hand me the trash can, and then you can head to see Peter.”

Doing as she asks, I rush off excited to see Peter. I get to the door and see Daddy letting in Peter and his parents. He’s smiling wide as he rushes to me.

“Hey, I!”

Peter hugs me before his parents head off with Daddy. His ema leaves them as she heads to the kitchen.

“Did you bring your camera?” I ask him, eager to see his new birthday present.

“I did!”

He pulls his bag off to grab it out.

“Here, but you have to be careful with it. Abba said that if I take care of it, then he’ll let me take it with us this summer when we go camping.”

Looking at it, I put it to my eye and pretend to take pictures.

“It’s cool, right?! You can share it. I know you like to take pictures too.”

Pointing the lens at him, his smile is wide. I take a picture for real.

His smile is so pretty.

“Hey, no pictures of me, okay.” He laughs.

I take a few more to mess with him.

“Seriously, stop.”

He begins to tickly my sides and I struggle to keep hold of his camera.

“Okay, stop. Stop! Your camera.”

He backs away, a little embarrassed.

“Oh, yeah. Maybe we should put it up for now.”

Handing it back to him, I agree that that’s probably best. My stomach growls again to remind me of breakfast.

“Are you ready for waffles? Mommy is putting chocolate chips in them!”

Another smile comes across his face.

“Mmmmmm, that sounds yummy.”

☙❃❧

It’s another morning that started early for me. This time had more to do with Thanksgiving being today.

Thank you, God, for letting me get a nap yesterday.

My sleep has been off still, but I’m sure once today is over, it will be easier to sleep through the night. Bailey’s been suggesting I try some sleep meds, but I’m not so sure. I might if things persist the way they’ve been. She even offered me some of hers, but I don’t want her to get into trouble. Especially with her being a nurse, it could get her license taken away.

Maybe I’ll ask Dr. Lenoir at my next appointment.

It’s been brought up before, so I’m sure she’ll be fine giving me a prescription for it.

There’s a knock at the door before it opens which tells me all the more who it is. Kalston’s still hesitant about walking right on in, and I understand the anxiety all too well. Even when you’re told it’s okay, sometimes it can still feel weird to walk into someone else’s house. At least for some that is. Bailey full on doesn’t care. It’s a trait most of her family does the same. All except Ash. He’s a bit hesitant too. We seem to hold a lot of the same fears, but he seems to be more open about them than I do.

I stick to reading the last of the page when Kalston finds his way next to me. Laying his head on the back of the couch when he does.

“Good morning, Love.”

“Good morning. Give me a moment, I have one last paragraph.”

I feel his gaze on me, and I can’t help but smile. It’s a commonality now, yet, still not something I’m used to. He brushes a stray hair out of my face. My smile grows wider as I find my focus struggling not to be on him.

Reread the paragraph and still unable to grasp what’s happening next in the story, I give up and decide to find my spot later.

He’s different today, his hair a couple inches shorter and his face shaved. Even his piercings are absent. He’s smiling wide when I look at him. It reminds me faintly of someone…

A face threatens to flash through my mind, but I push it away. I’ve been hesitant to linger on any kind of memory. Afraid that if I do… Well, yeah.

“You look different.”

His smile falters a moment.

“A good different? I thought I’d be a bit more friendlier in appearance today with meeting everyone. What do you think?”

Putting my hand through his hair, I’ve always wanted to do it, but slightly afraid to. I’m still hesitant, but push myself anyway.

He looks beautiful.

Another flash is threatened with the action, but it too gets pushed away.

Though I always thought he looked nice with his rugged self, something about him now seems familiar in a way. His appearance matches the soft self I know him to be.

“You look, really nice. Handsome.”

I smile, bringing my hand away as I’m afraid maybe I shouldn’t have let my desire take over. Even more so that continuing will lead to another episode. I’m not sure what about touching his hair is familiar, and I’m conflicted to find out.

His eyes linger on me, a soft that matches the rest of him, but I can’t keep them. His words next are warm, like the sun peeking in from the outside.

“You know, you’re beautiful in the morning, Love.”

I try to tease him and keep the normal that things seem to be settling back into. The normal I’m desperate to fool myself into. At least until I can figure out what’s going on.

He deserves normal.

Kalston asked a few questions yesterday during breakfast to make sure I was okay, but not since then. Thankfully. I have felt a weary gaze from him at times, but never when having mine on him. I pray those too fade out.

“And what about the rest of the day? I think you’re beautiful every time I see you.”

He’s quiet for a moment before he brings my face to his. A playful grin on his face and a warm touch under my chin.

“Love, what am I to do with you? Somehow you steal my heart all the more every time we meet. And yes, you’re beautiful no matter what time of the day it is.”

His thumb caresses my bottom lip as something of confliction flickers in his eyes. He takes his hand away before kissing me on the forehead and then stands.

“Now shall we?”

He offers me a hand, but I’m still left lost in the moment and looking where he was. It’s weird how fast he can move from one to another.

But?

“I’m, uh… What?”

Shall we what?

Another smile, this one is his usual smirk. He knows what he did, and is pleased with himself for it. Then again, I guess I can’t say his charming self is his usual one. It’s not been with me for a bit now. Teasing, yes, but charming… It seems more false now. Empty in a way. The longer I know him, the more it seems he truly reflects more of a self that’s opposite to the one he showed when we first met.

“Don’t we have people coming over in a few hours? It’s already after 1030, so shouldn’t we start prepping?”

Oh yeah, wait, is it already that late?!

‘Breakfast.’

Shoot! I should eat.

“Yeah, but breakfast first?”

Worry flashes quickly over his expression before he shakes his head slightly.

“You’re a mess, you know that?”

I grab his hand and get up.

“I know, but I’m your mess.”

Now trying to play the bold one, I give him a light kiss on the cheek before heading to the kitchen. My stomach is in knots, and I can’t stay to see how he reacts.

“Uh… Coffee? I see you had some. Do you want me to put another pot on?”

“Yeah, I’m going to make waffles. Do you want any?”

“I’d love some, yeah.”

Things run smoothly through the rest of the morning, and feel like today is going to be a great one.