How dare Mom not listen to a word I said! I didn't want to go back to ballet practice. She couldn't make me. I hoped Kina killed me by then.

I breathed in frantic spurts, trying to calm down, but I failed miserably. Feeling suffocated, I ripped off my tights and leotard. Now, I felt free in my bra and underwear. Much better.

I didn't care if there were no refunds for my ballet lessons. I didn't care if Mom and Dad wasted their money on my dance lessons, bus fare, clothes, and ballet flats. I had to do something drastic to get my point across. I had to do something that couldn't be reversed.

From my dresser and closet, I dug out all of my tutus, leggings, leotards, and ballet flats. Empowered, I dumped them in a pile in the corner of my room, and dropped to my knees on the floor. My loneliness about being a ballet dancer couldn't hurt me anymore. I tried to tear my blue tutu with my hands, but I wasn't strong enough. I bit into it, trying to use my teeth. I couldn't even tear a small rip at the seams. That pissed me off.

Fed up, I stormed out of my room and headed toward the bathroom. I passed Kina in the hallway, who stopped in her tracks when she saw me. I shoved her against the wall and kept moving.

Mom's lavender scented candle and large lighter were on the bathroom sink. She liked to burn her candle when she took hot bubble baths. I grabbed the lighter and headed back to my room. Holding herself, Kina had stayed by the wall. When I walked past her, she followed me into my room.

"What are you doing, Lo?"

I raised the lighter in my hand in case Kina hadn't seen it. "If you had a choice to join Franco, what would you do?"

Bug-eyed, she looked at it. "What do you mean?"

"Want to die in a fire tonight?"

Kina began crying. Her body trembled. For once, I believed her tears. This was the moment she realized she had no control over me.

"You're scaring me," she said.

"So?" My gaze never left hers when I flipped open the metal cap on the zippo lighter. I flicked it on. I didn't hesitate when I dropped it onto my clothes. Then I ran to my dresser and grabbed my perfume bottle. Kina gasped when I dropped the bottle into the fire. Flames rose immediately.

"LOREN, NO!!!!" Kina tried to sprint out of the room, but I pulled her back in and tackled her onto the floor. The flames were so close that my skin felt as though it was burning. I could only imagine what Kina was going through with her face mere inches from the flames.

Shouting, Mom and Angela barged in. Dang it, I should have locked my door.

Mom ran out of my room and came back in with the fire extinguisher. She put the fire out in seconds.

No!

My ballet clothes were burnt to a crisp, and there was a dark hole in the carpet. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I was that close to joining Franco on my own terms.

Inhaling the nasty fumes, we coughed up a storm. I rolled off Kina and pinched my nose to stop myself from breathing in. The smoke crept into my mouth, though, making me cough more. Kina and me continued to lay on the floor. Mom rushed past us to put up the window. When she came back, she scooped all three of us into her arms, like Wonder Woman, and fled us out into the hallway. She put us down. Then she slammed my bedroom door shut.

Mom fell to her knees while frantically patting Kina and me. "Oh my God, are you all right?! What happened?!"

I glanced over at Kina, who was still coughing. Before that little brat could speak, I bent down and gave Mom a tight hug, so tight I wished I cut off her circulation, so tight I wished oxygen wouldn't go through her body, so tight I wished she would pass out. I hadn't expected to live after the fire. How was I going to explain what I did? I had to think of something and it better be fast. I was sure Kina would throw me under the bus. Dang it, I had almost killed her. I was even going to sacrifice myself to do it. Anything to make Franco happy. Anything to make him have peace, so he could watch over us in Heaven instead of being stuck in purgatory.

Mom let me go, so I had no choice but to let her go, too. She squeezed Kina's hand and mine, too. Mom appeared to have aged by ten years. Wrinkles lined her forehead and she had bags under her eyes. "How did that fire start?! What were you doing?! My heart can't take another loss. You two will be the death of me!"

Promise?

Angela moved away from the wall and put her tiny hands on Mom's shoulder. "Mommy, you're scaring me."

Mom took deep breaths as though she was counting to ten. She stared at Angela. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Fires are dangerous. I need you three to know you have to be careful." Mom glared at me. "How did the fire start, Loren?"

Shoot, I hadn't thought of a lie yet. I stood in silence, unblinking. I once read somewhere that a person who blinks a lot is lying. It's a nonverbal clue of the lies and deceit a person is hiding. If I didn't blink, then Mom wouldn't know I was lying, and if I didn't say anything at all, then my words couldn't be used against me later once Dad got home from work.

Mom squeezed my hand. "Loren, I'm talking to you! What happened?!"

When I didn't answer, Mom let go of my hand, stood up, and hugged Kina. She kissed her cheek, grabbed her shoulders, and shook her slightly. Mom had unhinged. "What happened, Kina? Tell me now."

To my surprise, Kina remained quiet. Her only answer was to cough. She snuck a peek at me. I looked at her with all the hate in the world. Just because she wasn't telling on me didn't mean we were cool again. We'd never be cool. That bitch. I had to lie before she told the truth.