I'm a damn good actor.
I must be because Lucian can't tell based on my dramatic expressions and outbursts, but I'm not the least bit interested in the movie he picked for us to watch tonight. Something about the world ending and zombies and shit.
Personally, I'm more of a dramedy guy. Tonight is his night, though. Scary movies are his thing, so by default, they've become my thing too.
"You know what would be hilarious?" I ask while digging a hand into the popcorn bowl sitting between us. "Hello, Earth to Luci? This movie isn't that good."
I chuckle and toss a few pieces of popcorn his way when he doesn't respond in time. He startles and finally looks at me, his big brown eyes blinking in confusion and mild annoyance.
"You know what would be hilarious?" I repeat now that I have his full attention.
"The movie actually is that good, which you'd know if you'd been paying closer attention." He tosses the fallen pieces into his mouth, unknowingly distracting me as he licks and sucks the butter off the tips of his fingers.
Don't even go there, Dax. Nothing good happens when you go there.
Thoughts like this used to keep me up at night, especially when we were younger. I've gotten better at controlling my emotions now that I'm older and have more experience with life and people. My poker face has always been secure, so my best friend is totally clueless about the massive crush that I have on him.
"Back to you. What would be hilarious?" Lucian asks, raising a curious brow.
"Us. Together." I clear my throat before speaking again. "I mean us going on The Big Trip together this year."
"But Scott said he wanted it to be couples only this year—no singles, remember? You know the rules."
"Yeah, yeah. Rules are also made to be broken, Luci. Hence why I said it'd be hilarious if we showed up to the airport together..." I pause, grinning mischievously. "...as a couple."
Lucian grabs the remote off the coffee table to mute the explosions happening in the movie. He then shifts his lean body toward me, expression serious.
"That would absolutely be hilarious," he says, smiling "Tell me more."
"So, Scotty chose to go to Bali for the big trip, as you already know. Despite my job, I've never been to Bali, and I'll be damned if I miss out because I'm fucking single."
"So...?"
"So, I figured you and I could use this little loophole to our advantage and go together as a "couple" instead."
"Scott will either laugh with us about this or he'll whine the entire trip about you taking advantage of loopholes."
Lucian tosses more popcorn into his mouth, tempting me still, but I focus on his eyes instead. Sort of.
"Given that I'm paying for everything, he can whine all he wants. You and I are going."
Lucian rolls his eyes, entertained. "You're willing to take that risk?"
"Have you forgotten who you're talking to?" I smirk. "Taking risks is what I do, baby. Are you down or not?"
He sighs and unmutes the TV. "All these years of knowing each other and still, for whatever reason, I let you talk me into participating in your wild ideas."
"That sounds like a yes..." I repeatedly poke him in the side like a pesky child desperate for their parent's attention. "But I want to hear you say it."
"Of course I'm down."
"Just the words I wanted to hear! Because I've already purchased our tickets."
Shock takes residence on his face as I shoot up from the couch while laughing at his reaction.
"Oh my God, Dax! How long have you been planning this—"
"Before I forget," I interject. "Let me grab your ticket for you to take home when you leave."
I exit the living room and head upstairs to my bedroom that's still a mess from last night's hookup.
Drowning myself in impromptu adventures around the globe and filthy sex with randoms has been my solution for keeping myself in check regarding the not-so-appropriate feelings that I've developed for Lucian.
It's beyond fucked up to want someone as badly as I want him.
Fucked up because he's my best friend. Fucked up because I'm a player and he's a dater. Fucked up because he's literally so goddamn perfect for me, and I carry all the traits in a partner that he detests.
I'm only delusional in my dreams, not in real life. Anything more than friendship would never work between Lucian and me. Then again, maybe shit is starting to get a bit too blurry for me to differentiate between fantasy and reality. Or maybe I'm a closet masochist. I don't know.
But what I do know is that I'm pushing the line that I created for myself regarding Lucian closer and closer to its breaking point by having us play a faux couple on this year's big trip—a tradition I started with my friends after my career took off—and this will only end in one of two ways.
Good or fucking horrific.
"You get lost up there? Because you're missing all the gore!" Lucian shouts from downstairs. "Hurry up or else we're watching another one after this."
"It's legit a dumpster fire up here," I yell back. "Give me a minute!"
The older we get, the more chaotic our schedules become. Well, Lucian's really. I'm my own boss, so I can take time off whenever I want. Being forced to sit through another shitty movie with him after not seeing each other for almost two weeks isn't as threatening as he tries to make it sound.
I miss us hanging out like the old days. Not that I'd ever tell him that. He's got enough on his plate right now.
Can't wait to see the look on Scott's face when he sees me and Lucian at the airport. I chuckle to myself while fetching Lucian's plane ticket from my nightstand.
Truth be told, I've had this all planned from the moment Scott texted Bali in our big trip group chat.
Lucian and I have been inseparable since the first grade, but Scott and I grew up together. Our mothers are best friends, so it was inevitable that we'd follow in their footsteps.
I came up with The Big Trip idea about a year after my career as a travel influencer took off. I was, and still am, making a shit ton of money off sponsorships and after a while, I needed something to blow some of it on.
So why not take all my close friends on their dream vacation?
The concept is simple. Once a year, on a mutually agreed upon date, my friends and I get together and draw names to decide who picks our next week-long adventure for the year. The cycle goes on and on until everyone has had a turn, then it starts over with me.
Having initiated this tradition with a large friend group, I obviously hosted first, so I've been out of a turn for a hot minute now. My other best friend, Collin, had his trip last year, so this year his name was removed, and he had to draw the next host... which ended up being Scott.
I'm a simple guy, so the only rules associated with The Big Trip are any the chosen host might concoct.
Scott, seizing the moment, laid down the law that this year was for couples only. No surprise there considering his wedding to his high school sweetheart is right around the corner. Of course he'd leap at the chance to take his woman on an all-expenses-paid getaway.
I wasn't upset that he wanted to bring a newbie into our circle this year. But, at the time, it did suck ass because Lucian and I are the only singles in our group.
I was grouchy all of two minutes before it hit me—Scott wasn't specific when he said couples only. He definitely didn't put "friends can't get into a fake relationship just to go on the trip" in the group chat when asked if he had any rules for us to follow.
The cheeky bastard has been a complete ballbuster about me not being able to go this year, in spite of me paying for literally everything, joking and teasing me as if I wouldn't do something crazy like turning up at the airport with an arm very romantically locked around Lucian.
"Sorry I took so long." I plop back down beside him on the couch, closer than before, and hand him his plane ticket. "My room is a mess right now. Almost broke my neck tripping over a shoebox."
"Sounds like something you'd do." Lucian laughs softly and safely slips the ticket inside his wallet. "You make enough money to hire a cleaning service. Why not do that instead of keeping a junky house unfit for company?"
I smirk. "I'm touched you care this much about the reaction of said company that I definitely don't bring over here."
"Liar. I bet there are at least three different pairs of panties lost underneath your bed."
"Might be some boxers mixed in there as well. You know I don't discriminate... Hey, has this one always been here?"
I let my finger glide over the tiny mole on the back of his neck, pleased to see his pale skin flush from my touch. He shrugs me off all too quickly.
"Do better," he says. "Seriously."
"Yes, Daddy," I reply.
The redness in his neck swiftly creeps up to his cheeks, and then his hand hits the back of my head.
"Ow! What the hell?" I groan, laughing. "I take it you're not into daddy kink then."
"I am not talking about my kinks with you." He mutters something in Korean under his breath before redirecting his attention back to the movie. "Change the subject, nasty ass."
"I wouldn't personally say I'm into it, but it also wouldn't turn me off if my partner for the night calls me daddy during sex." I stay on the subject and flash another smile when he gives me a sharp look in response. "Hey, no kink shaming, mister. People like what they like, okay?"
Lucian rolls his eyes and tries to hold back the smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Damn, that mouth...
"I'm not and would never kink shame you or anyone else," he says. "I'm just trying to erase the gross picture that your words have painted in my mind."
"Oh." I swallow hard. "Whoops."
Knowing he's sitting here thinking about me fucking while getting called daddy by a stranger darkens my already wicked thoughts and makes my cock jump.
I should shift my position and rearrange myself with my hand, but then it'll be too fucking obvious for him to put two and two together to figure out where in the gutter my mind just went.
Thank God my sweatpants are black.
"Instead of sitting here staring at me, can you get us some more snacks and drinks?" Lucian shoves the empty popcorn bowl my way, snapping me back to reality once again.
"You want another beer or something else?" I ask.
"Beer."
"Then I'm assuming you don't plan on driving yourself home, so you'll be staying the night tonight?"
"You have a guest bedroom, don't you?"
My chest tightens when he looks me at again, this time with a softer gaze and a grin that practically begs for a kiss. This man has no idea how good he looks. No fucking clue at all.
I nod at his question. "Duh."
"Then I'm staying the night here, babo."
Fool.
Very early in our friendship is when I learned that word in Korean. It's one of his favorites for me. I have way too many for him.
"Did you forget how to walk?" He playfully smacks my cheek. "Snacks and drinks remember." I turn my face right before he pulls his arm back. I nip at his thumb with my teeth, leaning in closer, one hand nearing his waist. He laughs and attempts to scoot away from me before I can touch him. "Don't you dare—"
"Too late. You and your smart mouth have gotten away with too much tonight." I place the popcorn bowl on the coffee table before rolling up the sleeves on my shirt. "Time to run, Luci."
"I hate you."
"Aw. I love you, too."
He twists himself free and takes off running before my fingers can attack his waist. I leap off the couch and follow him and his fading giggles. We're too damn grown for this, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't having fun tonight.
That's the thing about Lucian. There's never been a dull moment with him. He's the quiet type, sure, but he also isn't afraid to take on a silly dare or a challenge. He isn't afraid to stand up for himself or others when the time calls for it. His exterior may seem cold to outsiders, but on the inside, I've come to discover he's the kindest person I know.
I love him. Might even be in love with him. I can't say that for sure because I've never been in love before, so I have no idea what that even feels like. I just know he's my best friend and someone I can't live without.
That's why I pray to God that my plan for this trip doesn't backfire. Be it something big or small, our friends aren't the type to let up, so they'll expect Lucian and I to act like a couple for the whole week. Me and him have done a lot of crazy shit over the years, but nothing quite like this. Nothing so—
Wait. Oh, no. I just remembered...
Everything has already been booked. Lucian and I will be sharing a room for seven days and seven nights. A room in paradise. A room meant for a real couple.
A room with only one fucking bed.
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